Interested

[kaelania]

Looking for more info on bdsm to see if its for me. I've always been interested but my ex would never give it a trial even though throughout our relationship he had to be in control.
I've always been fairly submissive but am wondering if it really is for me. I often fantasie about being spanked & tied up but I need more info to come to an informed choice. I tried the chat room but it looked to hectic for me I've never been in one before! LOL
Hope someone can help
Thanks

 

[catalina_francisco]

Give the library link at the top of the forum a try and feel free to ask any questions you might have....happy reading.

Catalina

 

[gingermango]

Catalina's advice is good. I would add that the key to making BDSM work, especially for a beginner, is to find a supportive partner, preferably one with some experience though this is not a strict requirement I don't think. Some of the feelings and emotions, not to mention physical sensations, can be quite striking perhaps even extreme. A supportive, patient dominant can help you manage those. A dominant with some experience could provide even more support, though experience is never a substitute for empathy IMHO.

Another thing: start out slow. Some of the things you read and fantasize about could prove to be physically dangerous. This is another area where an experienced dominant could help, though there is NEVER a substitute for common sense. Read as much good How To advice you can and as Catalina says, ask questions.

Good luck exploring a new side to yourself.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Hi Kaelania, I'm just starting my journey too.

There's a lot of stuff that I fantasise about that I'm not 100% sure I'd actually enjoy in real life. I'm learning that a big part of learning what you like comes from examining your motivation; the parts of your personality that make you a submissive and where they come from.

For me, the foundation was laid with a highly religious and highly sexist upbringing, where the men were treated as absolute authority figures. Much as I dislike the notion, that's where my kink began. It's travelled through childhood experiences and adult fantasies to leave me where I am now - on the edge of possibility.

Now that I have a clearer picture in my head about what I get from being submissive, I'm better able to set boundaries and decide what activities and what kind of relationship will give me the fulfillment I crave.

Gosh, that got a bit long winded and heavy!

Better lighten the mood...



That'll do it. Happy exploring anyway - if I haven't put you off!

Velvet