Interested in submission

[SarcasticDarlin]

Good evening all I have a bit of a problem. I have been a lurker of the bdsm online community for some time now, and find myself extremely curious about the lifestyle of a submissive female. My wish is to gain knowledge in order to be able to become a sub and build a system of like minded friends. Any help is appreciated, just pm me. Honestly there is a lot I have yet to learn, and I look forward to learning it!

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Your inbox will likely fill quickly. Be leery of men who want to Dom the hell out of you right away. They're the scary ones.

A BDSM relationship is much like any relationship. Get to know someone, discuss the kinks you're interested in, learn about his/hers, decide on what to try. Submissive =/= doormat. You have a lot of say in this.

Have you taken a BDSM checklist or quiz? Something like that may help you learn what you're interested in. There's an essay around here somewhere, too, in Stella Omega's signature; she hasn't posted in a while, but I'm sure someone can find it and link it if I don't.

This is a good place to ask questions, so feel free. Welcome to Lit.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

That essay is in the signature line in this post. It's definitely worth a read.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=37867423&postcount=1

 

[LittleminxXX]

I did a quiz today, since I am new and have always been interested in the BDSM lifestyle but didn't know to what extent. The quiz ended up telling me that I related closely to a Brat. Have you heard of that? It sounded exciting as hell!

Did I take the right quiz or is there another one I could take?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I did a quiz today, since I am new and have always been interested in the BDSM lifestyle but didn't know to what extent. The quiz ended up telling me that I related closely to a Brat. Have you heard of that? It sounded exciting as hell!

Did I take the right quiz or is there another one I could take?

My understanding of a brat is a sub who likes to push back and get into some trouble with his/her Dominant.

I'm sure there are many quizzes you can take. I used to like taking those to just get an inkling of what all was out there, what possibilities even exist, you know?

 

[tristantrotsky]

Creeps & Weirdos

Good evening all I have a bit of a problem. I have been a lurker of the bdsm online community for some time now, and find myself extremely curious about the lifestyle of a submissive female. My wish is to gain knowledge in order to be able to become a sub and build a system of like minded friends. Any help is appreciated, just pm me. Honestly there is a lot I have yet to learn, and I look forward to learning it!

Be careful, Darlin, there are a lot of creeps and weirdos out there. Best stay close to someone you can put your trust in, someone who will respect and care about your needs…. like me…?

 

[LittleminxXX]

My understanding of a brat is a sub who likes to push back and get into some trouble with his/her Dominant.

I'm sure there are many quizzes you can take. I used to like taking those to just get an inkling of what all was out there, what possibilities even exist, you know?

Definitely! That was mainly what I was taking the quiz for, to see what sort of stuff was out there and what I was willing to get into. A Brat sounds right up my ally. I can get quite feisty

 

[Kinky_babygirl]

Please...do a lot of research! Read all you can, and talk to others in the lifestyle. There is one blog that I love that has a ton of great info for newbies- submissiveguide.com

And I strongly recommend you check out fetlife to find educational events in your area and read about others' experiences. There is a wealth of knowledge out there! Instead of making so many of your own unnecessary mistakes, learn from the mistakes of others! That's what I try to do.

Ps remember a BDSM relationship starts similar to a vanilla one in that you get to know each other first!!! Take your time!

All the best,

KB

 

[LittleminxXX]

I never even thought about finding an educational event on the lifestyle. Thank you so much! I'll definitely check into that. Thank you so much for your honest and helpful advice KB!

 

[Kinky_babygirl]

My pleasure

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Be careful, Darlin, there are a lot of creeps and weirdos out there. Best stay close to someone you can put your trust in, someone who will respect and care about your needs…. like me…?

This reads creepier than you (hopefully) intended.

 

[subwannabe]

Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. There are many wolves who look to take advantage of the naive and inexperienced. An inexperienced and naive sub can easily make the mistake of thinking that as a sub she is supposed to just do whatever her first dom tells her to do. In a way these relationships aren't any different than a vanilla relationship. Your dom should always have your best interests at heart and not be an arrogant self centered sadistic individual who is only using your inexperience to satisfy his own needs.

 

[julia2442]

I agree with the earlier post about being wary of those who try to Dom you immediately. A D/s relationship requires trust and communication, and it takes time to build that. There is a lot of getting to know each other. It can be time consuming, but the payoff is worth it. Is this a person you would allow to incapacitate you but trust enough to listen to your safe word? You also need clear communication--you should be able to tell your partner anything without fear of rejection or repercussion. If there is, then that is not the right partner for you. A good Dom is not easy to find, but you will know when you click.

i agree completely. Dita999, you always have excellent posts.

 

[TomPal]

Be careful and have fun!

 

[tristantrotsky]

This reads creepier than you (hopefully) intended.

Thanks, it was intended to have a slightly double-edged meaning… the most effective means of seduction is surely to gain confidence and to be at ease with the person you're seducing…?

 

[GreyEyedAthena]

Thanks, it was intended to have a slightly double-edged meaning… the most effective means of seduction is surely to gain confidence and to be at ease with the person you're seducing…?

Anybody who keeps an eye on Tristan here knows how he meant it.

 

[Vanir]

Inexperienced Dom here experimenting with my inexperienced sub partner. Although I cannot promise a wealth of information and advice, I can offer you my insight and am open to sharing my experiences

 

[Ishkar]

I'm a submissive in a more or less TPE relationship, living with my Master. Feel free to nudge aka PM me with questions. I've been in a BDSM dynamic of one sort or another for 7 years.

 

[Lord_Steve]

Be careful, Darlin, there are a lot of creeps and weirdos out there. Best stay close to someone you can put your trust in, someone who will respect and care about your needs…. like me…?

cool. extremely subtle. [after some consideration] you are absolutely very cool