Input on Mainstream Novel Revision...

[SEVERUSMAX]

I'm working on a mainstream novel (that is, not primarily erotic), but need to revise what I have already written. Think that I should consider posting at this site first, before I turn to a publisher.

The premise is this: North America has been settled by Greeks, but only partially colonized. There are 4 colonies, which share the continent with the natives. That's the background.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I'm working on a mainstream novel (that is, not primarily erotic), but need to revise what I have already written. Think that I should consider posting at this site first, before I turn to a publisher.

The premise is this: North America has been settled by Greeks, but only partially colonized. There are 4 colonies, which share the continent with the natives. That's the background.

IMHO, most Lit readers, even those who check out the Novel/Novella catergory, are doing so for entertainment. It's questionable how much help you'd get from their comments.

Sounds like you need an on-line critique group. They usually permit submission of a certain amount of work (chapter, x number of words, etc) at a time with you being required to critique the work of other members in return. Lit has the Story Discussion Circle which you might look into.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[vampiredust]

I'm working on a mainstream novel (that is, not primarily erotic), but need to revise what I have already written. Think that I should consider posting at this site first, before I turn to a publisher.

The premise is this: North America has been settled by Greeks, but only partially colonized. There are 4 colonies, which share the continent with the natives. That's the background.

your novel sounds cool

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

your novel sounds cool

Thanks for the feedback, both of you. I will bear that in mind.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

More detail for potential readers.

The plot focuses on the life of a purely fictitious professional soldier named Draco, for whom the book is named. He is ambitious, ruthless, courageous, brilliant, lecherous, and somewhat flawed, in terms of his ultimate attempts to reform his country's political system by imposing a monarchy in place of the old tetrarchy. Then again, his country is hardly democratic as it is...The hero's homeland is a Greek colony named Malacanos, which competes with 3 other Greek colonies (Etoria, Lysania, and Posidonis) for land, resources, power, wealth, etc. It also contends with several native tribes, all of whom are given Greek names by their Greek neighbors.

Collectively, they are known as Pytheans (after Pytheas, an explorer who ACTUALLY lived, but didn't reach America in real history) or barbaroi (barbarians, offensive sounding, yes, but the Greeks considered all non-Greeks to be really barbaric, especially those without writing).

I try to mix in native practices as well, such as growing maize, potatoes, etc., to supplement the traditional Mediterranean diet of wheat, olives, wine, lamb, etc. Shamans are included, although the Greeks simply confuse them with priests in the Hellenic sense of the word. Realistically, there is both mutual admiration and mutual contempt. Many natives are enslaved, but their cultures are not wiped out all of the time. There also Greek-native alliances, such as the traditional Poran alliance with the Malacanians against the marauding Damocleans.

Back to the colonies, however, the Etorians are a despotic state with a powerful landowning class, peasants (mostly of mixed Greek-native blood), and a small, but growing urban middle class of merchants and bureaucrats.

The Lysanians are a militaristic nation, with a ruling warrior caste, an even smaller middle class of mixed race, and Hellenized serfs of largely native descent.

The Posidonians are a semi-democratic mercantile city-state, with much less land and a heavy emphasis on craft and merchant guilds, who wield the real power. They have no aristocracy per se, but there is a collection of wealthy families who traditionally hold guild and public offices. They are also the least warlike of the 4 colonies, relying mostly on Hydranian (native) allies and mercenaries, instead of conscripts or volunteers from their own populace. They are also allied to Etoria.

The Malacanians are a Tetrarchy (government of 4 rulers), once tributary to Lysania, but now fully independent. They have a large class of freeholding herdsmen, a mostly pastoral economy, a couple of decent-sized cities, and a major city, which is also the capital. Their aristocracy is smaller and less dominant, but still very much around. There is also a thriving middle class in the few cities. Their diet is much higher in protein and fat than the starchier diets of their neighbors, making them a physically stronger and tougher people. Most of the herdsmen are of mixed native-Greek descent. Everyone else is largely Greek. Their army is strong, especially in cavalry, but not as large or powerful as that of Lysania.