Inner Thought Poem

[LonelyNights]

I'm sure this isn't how things work around here but I just wrote this and felt the need to put it out somewhere, to try to get out how I'm feeling, general comments on writing technique would be appreciated, however feel free to ignore it, sorry for being a bother.

This utter empty feeling in my stomach
Like a featus struggling for release
Needs to be aborted rather then birthed
Before everyone sees the bastard child of lies
That would hurt the one who should be it's father
The one who in some strange way helped to concieve the problems
Although really it was me alone
And this feeling will be carried to the full term of my life
Or otherwise given away to some silent third party who won't judge me
And for awhile I will be clean again
Until the reailty of what I'm doing catches up to me again
The feeling will reseed itself in my mind, my body
The cancerous ball of self-destruction in my stomach
A self-fulfilled prophecy.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

Some mighty strong words there partner.
Open and deep .. like a hole <grin>
dark but tantalizing, I couldn't tell you to change
the structure it seemed ok to me to read
but some may perfer a lighter topic but if you feel
the passion of this thought then by all means express away.
Your probably not gonna get a lot to clap for this
poem, but I bet it touches a few <grin>

my nickles worth

 

[WickedEve]

You're not a bother. You're a fellow poet.

There are typos you may want to fix:

featus--fetus
rather then--rather than
it's father--its father
concieve--conceive
reailty--reality

 

[LonelyNights]

thanks for the comments, I appreciate it
Like I said I'm just using it as a way to get my feelings out instead of holding them in til I implode. Posting it helped out a lot somehow.

 

[WickedEve]

thanks for the comments, I appreciate it
Like I said I'm just using it as a way to get my feelings out instead of holding them in til I implode. Posting it helped out a lot somehow.

I've used poetry writing as therapy many times.

 

[LonelyNights]

I've used poetry writing as therapy many times.

I used to, and then I stopped for awhile and found that being able to put myself into words like I once had was harder now...but I'm getting back to it.