Inexperienced at Sex...lack of feeling?

[A No Bollocks Kinda Girl]

Hi all,

I'm new to the board. I basically am in a long distance relationship and have recently started having sex. However, it hurts..well not so much hurts but aches an awful lot. I think this because I am stretching quite a bit to accomodate him. Is this normal when you first become sexually active or is there a problem?

It feels great emotionally and I love the intimacy but as far as enjoying it physically, the aching kind of gets in the way. After a while it just feels kind of numb-ish, like Im trying to block the aching feeling. Could somebody help me out by letting me know what might be wrong. Thanks, I'd appreciate it.

 

[L'il Bo Peep]

Well, I'm new to this site, but I remember well, what you're talkng about! I felt the same way at first. Lubrication is probably the most important thing, and go very slow at first. TONS of foreplay should help! Also, try playing by yourself, and find out what feels best. Hope this helps some!

 

[Whispersecret]

I also would suggest making sure you are really really wet first. For years (and I'm not exaggerating) I had sex when I wasn't aroused enough. There was moisture, but not near enough. Entry was a little rough, but once he got going, I'd enjoy it well enough. Still, afterwards I was always sore. I attributed this to his size, not really knowing any better.

I'll tell you what I was doing, in case you might be doing the same thing. I was rushing him because I felt guilty about making him work so hard to excite me. We would commence foreplay for a while, but when I got the feeling that it had gone on too long and nothing was happening, I'd say, "I want you inside me," and so, being a guy, he obliged. Yeah, I was an idiot. Still am in some respects.

Now, however, I know much more. When your body is really ready for sex, you're really squishy, your vagina has actually elongated inside, and your outer lips are puffed out. If you're lubed up enough, having another go at it shouldn't be uncomfortable at all.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck.

 

[SteamyChik]

First, go to your doctor and have tell him/her what's going on. There are some medical reasons you may be achy during or after intercourse. One of them is endometreitis (sp)and some STD's. So have a doctor check you out.

Second, spend more time in foreplay. It also helps if you can have one or more climaxes before intercourse to help make your really wet and relaxed.