SoonerNotLater
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2009
- Posts
- 23
Deleted
Deleted
Deleted
Last edited:
Inconvenient, steamy passion or steady, stable moderate happiness?
- Thread starter SoonerNotLater
- Start date
tightbrunette
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2011
- Posts
- 106
Wow...that sounds like a really tough decision. It sounds like you need a third option! Firstly I'll tell you that it's your life and you have to make your own decision, so any advice you may put through your BS filter and take or leave as you wish! Has either of them asked you to be mutually exclusive (or is it obviously implied)? One of the things I think you need to explore is what you are looking for right now in your life. Long-term relationship, sex, fun, etc. If you are not thinking about either person as a long-term commitment (and I think you might be, otherwise you wouldn't be agonizing over the decision so much?), then I would say either one is good.
But, if you are thinking more "down the road"...I would tell anyone that you should not settle for being moderately happy, because you deserve to be very happy. And people generally do not change (much), so your so-called hippie probably won't stop smoking pot anytime soon. You have to decide how much that bothers you or not. Maybe you could try doing something else when he starts smoking or avoid times when you know he's going to light up - unless it's almost all the time! And being sexually incompatible is a big deal in a relationship.
About the ex...ex's are so complicated, aren't they? I'd go further to say that usually our relationships with exes are not very healthy for us. Not all the time, but often. There's a reason people go separate ways, and no matter how well they get along, that reason is still lurking beneath the surface just waiting to pop up again. This may not be true for you, I'm just trying to read into your situation. Exes can be fun for a while, but many times you eventually just have to find the strength to move on.
I don't know if that helped at all; probably not! I hope it works out soon for you!
I agree with Tb above.
Knowing nothing about you, you can take this with a grain of salt, but exes are almost always a bad idead, there was a reason it didn't work the first time.
As far as guy #1 its seems like you dont really appreciate a major part of eachothers lives, seems like someone you could be great friends with, but doesn't sound like a life partner.
Knowing nothing about you, you can take this with a grain of salt, but exes are almost always a bad idead, there was a reason it didn't work the first time.
As far as guy #1 its seems like you dont really appreciate a major part of eachothers lives, seems like someone you could be great friends with, but doesn't sound like a life partner.
Call me a hopeless romantic but there's something so compelling about having an "uncanny connection" with someone. Also being a Literotican, of course it seems bad to settle for so-so sex over "steamy" and "amazing" sex. But only you can weigh the other factors, which are certainly important but very subjective.
Similar threads
