Incomprehensibly Useful Phrases For Travelers

[crysede]

In an effort to promote cultural understanding, I am offering a few essential phrases that any traveler to Japan will need to know in order to participate in Japanese daily life. The first three might be particularly essential for some of us here at lit.

Omawarisan! Chikan o tska-mate!
Police! Arrest this pervert!

Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware mas.
I have many evil thoughts.

Anata no hiza ni suwattemo yoroshii deshoka?
Do you mind if I sit in your lap?

Anata no gosenzo sama ni kao o awase rare masuka!
Get ready to meet your ashamed ancestors!

Suiteki de atama ni anao akararete iru yona kokoromochi deshta.
It was like drops of water boring into my skull.

Kazoku sorrote no seppuku ga yokatta.
I loved the part where the whole family disemboweled themselves.

Watashi no nozomi dori no shinikata deshta ne.
Their deaths perfectly expressed my deepest desires.

Okikute ugokasenai Fujisan mitai da.
He looks as grand and immobile as Mount Fuji.
(To be used at Sumo contests.)

Ahoka! Sodai gomi!
Shame! Public Humiliation!
(To be shouted at baseball players when they err.)

Ebi no idaina saigo desu!
How honorably shrimp struggle as they choke to death!

Shijin ga suki desuka?
Which poet is your favourite?

Sekai ichi no ginko ni otsutome desune.
I see you work for the largest bank on the planet.

Nihonshoku o tabesukete inai yabanjin desu.
I am too barbaric to eat a Japanese breakfast.

 

[Dillinger]

Those are great!

And don't forget other countries as well:

Italy:

Posso soddisfare il fuck voi nell' asino?
(May I please fuck you in the ass?)

and

Dove è il Literotica più vicino patrocinato orgy?
(Where is the nearest Literotica sponsored orgy?)

 

[christophe]

Literotica sponsors orgies, Is that in the AAA guide books

 

[crysede]

Thanks Dillinger, those are very good phrases to know! Here's a few insightful Latin sayings, I think these really demonstrate just how profoundly our culture has been influenced by the ancient Romans.

Volo comparare nonnulla tegumembra.
I'd like to buy some condoms.

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo
I will fuck you in the ass, and have you give me some good head.

O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!

Veni, veni, veni!
I came, I came, I came!

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.
When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

Imus ad magum Ozi videndum, magum Ozi mirum mirissimum.
We are going to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
You do not know the power of the dark side.

Luke sum ipse patrem te
Luke, I am your father.

Sit vis vobiscum
May the Force be with you.

Macdonaldus senex fundum habet. E-I-E-I-O. Et in hoc fundo, nonnullas boves domesticas habet. E-I-E-I-O. Cum moo moo hic, cum moo moo ibi. Hic una moo, ibi una moo, ubique una moo moo. Macdonaldus senex fundum habet. E-I-E-I-O.
Old MacDonald has a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on this farm, he has some cows. E-I-E-I-O. With a moo moo here, with a moo moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo. Old MacDonald has a farm. E-I-E-I-O.

 

[crysede]

You'll be surprised how often these invaluable Hawaiian phrases come in handy!

I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal.
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.

I greatly admire your machine pistol.
Ke mahalo nui aku nei au i ko pu.

You must be very proud of your large hat
Ha'aheo no paha 'oe i kena papale kupalaka, pehea la.

May I sleep on your lap?
I hiamoe au ma luna o kou 'uha?

Dammit man, what the hell kind of a doctor are you anyway?
E ke kamipulu, pehea la kou 'ano kauka 'ana mai?

 

[WhiteRose]

In an effort to promote cultural understanding, I am offering a few essential phrases that any traveler to Japan will need to know in order to participate in Japanese daily life. The first three might be particularly essential for some of us here at lit.

Omawarisan! Chikan o tska-mate!
Police! Arrest this pervert!

Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware mas.
I have many evil thoughts.

Anata no hiza ni suwattemo yoroshii deshoka?
Do you mind if I sit in your lap?

Anata no gosenzo sama ni kao o awase rare masuka!
Get ready to meet your ashamed ancestors!

Kazoku sorrote no seppuku ga yokatta.
I loved the part where the whole family disemboweled themselves.

Ebi no idaina saigo desu!
How honorably shrimp struggle as they choke to death!

Nihonshoku o tabesukete inai yabanjin desu.
I am too barbaric to eat a Japanese breakfast.

I am emailing these to my family My adoptive mom is issei Japanese, and my dad (a white guy who speaks fluent Japanese) will get a kick out of them. Well maybe I'll save the last one for my brother to say to her when he stops over for breakfast the next time...without translating it for him hehe

 

[crysede]

Re: Re: Incomprehensibly Useful Phrases For Travelers

I am emailing these to my family My adoptive mom is issei Japanese, and my dad (a white guy who speaks fluent Japanese) will get a kick out of them. Well maybe I'll save the last one for my brother to say to her when he stops over for breakfast the next time...without translating it for him hehe

LOL I'd love to be at the breakfast table that day!

Here are just a few more handy phrases for when dinning in Japan:

Unagi no nojo wa doko desu ka?
Where is the eel farm?

Kono ika o kette mo kamaimasen ka?
Do you mind if I kick this squid?

Aoi tabemono o kudasai.
Please bring me the blue food.

Kono dokuso o tabereba, bakuhatsu shimasu.
If you eat this plant, you will explode.

Sozo ijo no mono deshta.
That was different.

 

[Dillinger]

Never go to Germany without having memorized these useful phrases:

Mich, woher sind entschuldigen der Schrank mit den übergrossen dildos?
(Excuse me, where is the cabinet with the oversized dildos?)

"Warum kauft diese Person über der Straße 3 Esel und bra?"
(Why is that person across the street buying 3 donkeys and a bra?)

OH- mein Gott! Ich kann nicht fuck den, sein SEHR GROSSES!!!
(Oh my god! I can't fuck that, its HUGE!!!)

Mag ich andere, Mistress haben? Bitte? OH- ja. JA!!!
(May I have another, Mistress? Please? Oh yes. YES!!!)

 

[crysede]

Dillinger's fabulous examples reminded me of some more truly excellent German phrases that I used for a tutorial I did on the uses of the verb werden: an invaluable verb that everyone really ought to be familiar with - really! It will do you no end of good!! You can thank me later (or now if you want ).

Der Vampir wird müde.
The vampire is getting tired.

Er wurde müde, weil sie mit ihn kämpft.
He grew tired because she struggled with him.

Als sie erschöpft geworden ist, hat er sie gebeißt.
When she had become exhausted, he bit her.

Wir werden zusehen, als er sie schändet.
We will watch as he ravishes her.

Sie wird seiner saftigen Umarmung erliegen.
She will succumb to his succulent embrace.

Sie wird vom lüsternen Werwolf beäugt.
She is being ogled by a lecherous werewolf.

Er wird wohl geisteskrank sein.
He is probably insane.

Ein langer zackiger Riß wurde an ihrer Bluse gemacht.
A long, jagged tear was made in her blouse.

Wir sind von seinem verderbten Heulen sprachlos gemacht worden.
We were made speechless by his depraved howl.

 

[Monazwx]

Crysede

Like your Latin phrases.

I studied Latin last semester (or at least tried to) and I thought no one used it anymore. Thanks for posting 'em!

But I just love your AV!

 

[crysede]

Re: Crysede

Like your Latin phrases.

I studied Latin last semester (or at least tried to) and I thought no one used it anymore. Thanks for posting 'em!

But I just love your AV!

What?! Of course people still use Latin, gosh, what a thing to say! After all, Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua*.

BTW, thanks for the complement on my av!

* The only good language is a dead language.

 

[VanB]

If you ever go to Holland or Flemish Belgium you will make yourself very popular by introducing yourself using my title

 

[Dillinger]

And let us not forget Portugal:

Por favor, onde você mantem os tubarões da lama?
(Please, where do you keep the mudsharks?)

Meu bichano está assim molhado. Você emprestar-me-á esse pepino?
(My pussy is so wet. Will you loan me that cucumber?)

Por que é que você não pode encontrar um jogador profissional do basketball quando você necessita um?
(Why is it that you can't find a professional basketball player when you need one?)

And, of course...

Eu tenho a razão acreditar que você não pode banhar bonecas de Barbie conseqüentemente que eu penso que é hora de proibir a entrada a Fred Flintstone. Adicionalmente, meu pai disse-me sempre que eu devo nunca banter com octagons.

(I have reason to believe that you can't bathe Barbie dolls therefore I think it's time to forbid entry to Fred Flintstone. Besides, my father always told me I should never banter with octagons.)

 

[DéjàNu]

If you ever go to Holland or Flemish Belgium you will make yourself very popular by introducing yourself using my title

Hey VanB what it mean?
Ik wil met je poopen

 

[crysede]

Oh wow, thanks Dillinger, you're a lifesaver!! I have been trying to figure out how to say "my father always told me I should never banter with octagons" in Portuguese since, like, forever man! God, I just can't thank you enough!!

And VanB, thanks for not leaving me hanging you tease! BTW, with that av, you'll be popular anywhere no matter what you say!