So with ABC's 20/20 on Friday, I was thinking about all the random sperm donors out there and all the complications it could cause with incest. I think there is now a registry for "lab cultured" children so they can at least compare sperm donor registry numbers to make sure they aren't committing incest.
Anyway, I thought of an incest story. I've been doing some writing, here is the outline. I'm new to Literotica, the Literotica forum and any advice or guidance I get would be greatly appreciated.
Part 1)
Two siblings, boy and girl, are both donor egg and sperm children raised by a hippy naturalist university biologist mother. She is pretty free spirited with her kids and they learn a lot about sex pretty early. Their ubber intellectual minds along with their free spirited mother leads to some close encounters as teenagers, but they resist urges because of the incestuous nature of any such encounter. They were told as children by their mother that she received donor sperm to get pregnant. Their genius intellect was a result of picking the best possible sperm the sperm bank had available. Their High School Days are marked by secretive longing for each other, but little action on either siblings part.
Part 2)
They eventually go off to college (an overly expensive NE Libral Arts institution, possible Ivy League). They try and go their separate ways but they find that they really are each others best friends. Unfortunately, they have an accidental drucken sexual encounter or two or three. Eventually, their drunken excuses, peer pressure from close friends, and the realization that their destructive behavior just to get each other in the sack aren't enough to sustain any type of real relationship and it leads the talk. He wants to keep their relationship going, but in secret. She doesn't want to be a secret fling all her life and gives him the option of uprooting their life and moving across the country where they wouldn't face judgement. They can't agree and it become a deepening rift between the two that tears them apart.
Part 3)
The male ends up finding the love of his life at their college and starts to move on with his life. She is very much like him, but unlike his sister in many, many ways. She is highly intelligent (as is his sister), but she loves much of what he does. His sister was always a compliment to him. He loved sports, but wasn't athletic. She was the athlete and cheerleader. He loved to play music and loved to watch theater, but he had no stage presence and couldn't dance for anything. His sister loved to act and dance, but put an instrument in her hands and she was lost. His girlfriend nearly loves everything he did and better yet, she could do nearly everything he did. He would spend hours charting the skies and his girlfriend joked that they have spent hours together without ever knowing seeing the same stars through a telescope. For everything he wanted in a woman, this was the girl, but he did notice those endearing moments with his sister weren't there. Just as he couldn't write a hearfelt letter, neither could his girlfriend. Just as he couldn't capture a beautiful moment through a lense or with brush strokes on a canvas, neither could his girlfriend. That didn't stop him from marrying her. She was still the greatest woman he had ever met.
Part 4)
The female sibling didn't have it so easy. She uprooted her life anyway, and moved across the country. She started to grow distant from him and their circle of friends and even got herself messed up in a few drugs. Her Hollywood style party life didn't help much. She was one of the smartest and most talented writers and her partying was actually paying off. Studios loved her, actors and actresses loved her work and her independent film won a few awards. Unfortunately she really struggles with relationships. She wanted to find the emotional, artistic, romancier that her brother never was, but there was always a roadblock, always a setback and always another man or woman that ruined the relationship. As her career started to stabalize and she was writing regularly for some of the best TV she was able to start working through some of her issues. The edgy cable channel that explored issues like the modern day mafia, homemakers who grew pot, and cereal killers who killed cereal killers, created a show about her Eastern European close knit family struggling to survive during the dawn of the Industrial revolution. Much like the neighbors and characters chronicled in Uptan Sinclairs "the Jungle," her characters faced extreme conditions and felt great tragedy. The edgy twist was a pair of attractive young siblings, taken advantage of by their oversexed slum lord, and forced into work at much to young of an age. The sexual trauma of her characters, the close quarters of the slum, the treatment of the families of the "new wave" of unwanted immigrants, and the cinematically raw grittiness of the period made for exactly the type of show the public wanted. As her brilliant writing took off with the show, she realized her characters were the perfect platform to work through her own issues that she had developed for her brother. The close incestuous encounters on the show kept Hollywood abuzz, and she was hailed for her work.
Part 5)
Just as she thought her issues were started to resolve themselves and she was moving on with her life (as she was dating a hot Hollywood star who unlike most seemed to finally be ready to settle down), she stumbles upon information about her mother's sperm donor registry. The registry tracks where eggs and sperm come from according to donation site, donor ID number, and it is updated by mothers who conceive. Donors who donate at multiple locations were also allowed to link ID's once the registry was created. There is quite a process to link ID, but even if it is remotely possible two ID's could be the same donor, the site makes mention of it. The registry doesn't give names, but if two people want to know if they are related, they are able to see if their sperm donor IDs matche. Unfortunatley, it won't reveal a father for those seeking that type of informaton, but for two people who both know they were artificially insemenated, it is nice to know they aren't related if they plan on hooking up. She begins her quest to discover the truth about where her and her brother came from and what the real story is behind their conceptions. Along her quest she encounters some of her childhood friends and learns some startling things. Not only does she find the information about her and her brother, but she discovers a somewhat scientific underworld that she really never comprehended she was involved in as a child. She also finds that incest isn't as taboo as she thought and the early sexualization of her and her brother may not have been by accident. It brings up old issues, but still excites her at what she has found.
Part 6)
Her excitement leads her to discover that she and her brother aren't at all biologically related. She had expected to find that her mother used two different donors for sperm, but what she discovered was a little shocking. She thought their mother received only donor sperm, but that wasn't the case. Her brother (who was only 10 months older than her because she was conceived at the first possible chance after her brother was born and she was born 9 weeks early because of complications) was actually conceived from a donor egg and sperm. Their mother was actually only biologically her mother and her "early birth" may not have been an accident at all. There were a lot of questions surrounding the origin of her brothers conception. It seems that in the early stages of artificial insemenation, some of the biologic and genetic scholars took some liberties with the donation and conception process. To determine the viability of freezing and harvesting eggs and to see if there was any developmental issues with the process. A brilliant scientist used her own eggs over a period of a few years to help prove some of her own research. Her batch of eggs and even some of the sperm of one of her collegues wound up the subject of a conference on artificial insemenation, and as strange as it may sound, a black market was instantly created that tainted an otherwise honest donation pool and led to some very questionable biologic, psychologic and sociologic studies. Her mother was one of the women willing to be in essence, a test subject for the misguided scientist's experiment. She didn't know it as a child either, but she was actually a small part of the experiment. As the nature/nurture debate was raging at the time of her and her brother's conception, her and her brother were experimental and control subjects in the experiment. Their physical development, intellectual development and social development was all tracked and studied. Her mom and all her hippy freak scientist friends were actually doing underground research on her and her brother and even some of her closest friends as a child. Some of her closest friends as children were all actually twins, which she started to think might have been the plan for her and her brother, but the other egg and sperm must not have taken when her brother was conceived. Most of the twins she encountered now, years after this crazy experiment were actually not biologically related either. However, one of the twins was one of a number of "siblings" created as a control group for their study with the lead scientist's own eggs and the sperm of her colleague. Infuriated, distrought, and utterly in shock, she didn't know what to do, but she knew she had to talk to her brother since their mother had been dead for a few years, and all this information was just now coming to light.
Part 7)
The male sibbling who is now happily living his new life is confronted by his sister. She makes a desperate plea to for help to clean out the rest of their mom's things at their old house. They had kept it since their mom passed, but the real estate management agency that was renting the property for them went under with the housing market downturn. They had much of their mother's things stored in the attic of the the house. The ******ts never used it, and since the management company stopped looking after the property, it was about time they cleaned out all that was left and got the house in order for a deserving family to have the chance to buy the beautiful old home. She had a good reason to reconnect with her brother, and was hoping to spend the long three day weekend going over her discovery and digging through some of their mother's things to find more about the study they were unwillingly a part of as children. She tells him about the registry, what she found, and all the emotions that she has gone through since they had drifted apart. Of course he has seen her psychological analization of their relationship play out on her hit TV show, but he never really realized that it was that difficult for her to move on with her life. He always saw some of her plot lines as a cheap shot at their history together and somewhat embarrassing because some of their friends who knew them in college might actually be able to pick up on some of the "too close to home" moments that were written into the script. She tries to reason with him that all the shame she's felt since the sexual encounters of their past is pointless because they were never biologically related, but she still can't get over the true feelings she has for him. There have been lots of attempts at a real man in her life, but they have all been poor substitutes for him, and she has come to realize it. She knows that they were manipulated as children, they have faced a lot of challenges together, and that she wouldn't be as smart, as strong, as gifted or as happy as she it today, without him in her life. Most of what she has done in the past ten years is writing herself into the past where she was the happiest she's been. The success of her current show only reaffirms that she knows what makes her happy. Sure, maybe it is a gritty or edgy storyline filled with incestuous tension that has made her show so successful, but she isn't going to deny that the love that she is pouring into her show isn't directed towards him. Although it is a complete shock and a past her brother has tried very hard to forget, the time, the place and the circumstance overwhelm him. He finally gives into his urges for his sister, and without the excuse of college partying or teenage experimentation, he finally embraces the moment with the girl he was raised to know as his sister.
Part 8)
They discover more about their mother's past, but find that the "scientific research" didn't seem to last very long in her circle. Many of the participants started feeling a little guilt that their own children were under the microscope, differences in standardization, research methodology, and even rights to publication drove most of them apart. The ones that stuck together had conversations about "the study," but the fear of exposing their unethical methods made them find creative ways to "discover" nature and nurture differences outside of their own children. Thus, the group became more of a think-tank and/or social club. As their weekend progressed in the house, however, the siblings nurtured their own desires, and seemingly without consequence indulged in a solitary time together free from responsibility, reminders of where their lives were currently headed, and who they were currently involved with. He goes most of the long weekend without thinking about his wife, but he keeps coming back to a few things. For everything his wife is, he is incredibly greatful. She just understands him and their language is on such a deep level. They can speak volumes to each other without saying a word. She knows him like no woman has even know him, not even his sister. She is his mirror, and he knows it. Unfortunately, he is sometimes tired of looking in the mirror. His sister is a reminder that what he is not is a challenge. He always loved his sister for bringing the best out in him. Challenging him to be something he never thought he could be and pushing him to become more. His protective instincts in high school made him a hero when he came to her rescue. His scientific mind swam with joy in the emotional wanderings of his sister. He may have been lost at times, but his sister was the compliment to him that made him alive. With his wife, he was at home, with his sister, he was lost in the world with the one person who made it a true adventure. Sexually, he discovered the same thing. His wife and he had their routine that was magical on many levels, but it was his sister who presented the challenge, and when he was "up" for it, he felt on top of the world.
Part 9)
Now that the weekend is through, he must approach real life again. Full of guilt and shame, he returns to his normal life and wife. He and his sister didn't go into what was next for them. She tried that once before and it didn't work out for her. She was happy with what had happened and what she had discovered. However, he could't stop thinking about his sister, the registry, and all the events of the past few days. His wife was also a lab baby. The shock of everything he'd learned about his sister and mom almost made him forget about his wife and what it could mean for their own relationship. They were just now thinking about kids, so it isn't like it ever came up in blood tests or anything like that. They always felt pretty safe knowing that they were raised on different sides of the country. The likelihood of one sperm donor donating in Northern California and New England in the same year was so improbable, the two never discussed researching their histories. They new they would never know their biologic fathers and there were enough court battles that they knew none of it would be unsealed. The registery however was intriguing to him. His wife was actually born on the same day as he. It was one of the many coincidences that they shared that made them think of fate and serendipity when discussing how they came together, but never was anything they questioned. They were also both raised by scientifically minded professional college professors who worked in the field of human biology and reproductive studies. He knew his mother-in-law had heard of his mother, and they had even lectured to each other at a few conferences through the course of their careers, but his mother had passed by the time he met his wife. He couldn't help but think about more and more of their similarities, some similarities that brought them together in the first place. Sure they were raised on opposite side of the country, but what his sister shared with him made him search the registry. Knowing his world had already been turned upside down, he was absolutely floored to find out who his wife was. They may have been raised on opposite sides of the country, but that didn't prevent their mothers from attending the same conference on artificial insemenation back when they were conceived. In fact, they were both concieved in the same labratory with the batch of harvested eggs on the same weekend. They are brother and sister and she is one of his many siblings he has just now come to discover. Like the 5 other siblings that his sister discovered, his wife too is his biologic sister. Worse yet, since they were born on the same day, they are basically twins, just carried in two separate women at the same time.
Part 10)
Once he discovers this, he has to come clean with his wife, but he still struggles with what he should say about his sister. Does he tell his wife about his sexual misconduct? Is it even sexual misconduct anymore concidering he is sleeping with his own twin? Now he is torn between the woman he loves who is his actual genetic twin sister, and the woman who loves him who is the sister he was raised with all his life.
Anyway, I thought of an incest story. I've been doing some writing, here is the outline. I'm new to Literotica, the Literotica forum and any advice or guidance I get would be greatly appreciated.
Part 1)
Two siblings, boy and girl, are both donor egg and sperm children raised by a hippy naturalist university biologist mother. She is pretty free spirited with her kids and they learn a lot about sex pretty early. Their ubber intellectual minds along with their free spirited mother leads to some close encounters as teenagers, but they resist urges because of the incestuous nature of any such encounter. They were told as children by their mother that she received donor sperm to get pregnant. Their genius intellect was a result of picking the best possible sperm the sperm bank had available. Their High School Days are marked by secretive longing for each other, but little action on either siblings part.
Part 2)
They eventually go off to college (an overly expensive NE Libral Arts institution, possible Ivy League). They try and go their separate ways but they find that they really are each others best friends. Unfortunately, they have an accidental drucken sexual encounter or two or three. Eventually, their drunken excuses, peer pressure from close friends, and the realization that their destructive behavior just to get each other in the sack aren't enough to sustain any type of real relationship and it leads the talk. He wants to keep their relationship going, but in secret. She doesn't want to be a secret fling all her life and gives him the option of uprooting their life and moving across the country where they wouldn't face judgement. They can't agree and it become a deepening rift between the two that tears them apart.
Part 3)
The male ends up finding the love of his life at their college and starts to move on with his life. She is very much like him, but unlike his sister in many, many ways. She is highly intelligent (as is his sister), but she loves much of what he does. His sister was always a compliment to him. He loved sports, but wasn't athletic. She was the athlete and cheerleader. He loved to play music and loved to watch theater, but he had no stage presence and couldn't dance for anything. His sister loved to act and dance, but put an instrument in her hands and she was lost. His girlfriend nearly loves everything he did and better yet, she could do nearly everything he did. He would spend hours charting the skies and his girlfriend joked that they have spent hours together without ever knowing seeing the same stars through a telescope. For everything he wanted in a woman, this was the girl, but he did notice those endearing moments with his sister weren't there. Just as he couldn't write a hearfelt letter, neither could his girlfriend. Just as he couldn't capture a beautiful moment through a lense or with brush strokes on a canvas, neither could his girlfriend. That didn't stop him from marrying her. She was still the greatest woman he had ever met.
Part 4)
The female sibling didn't have it so easy. She uprooted her life anyway, and moved across the country. She started to grow distant from him and their circle of friends and even got herself messed up in a few drugs. Her Hollywood style party life didn't help much. She was one of the smartest and most talented writers and her partying was actually paying off. Studios loved her, actors and actresses loved her work and her independent film won a few awards. Unfortunately she really struggles with relationships. She wanted to find the emotional, artistic, romancier that her brother never was, but there was always a roadblock, always a setback and always another man or woman that ruined the relationship. As her career started to stabalize and she was writing regularly for some of the best TV she was able to start working through some of her issues. The edgy cable channel that explored issues like the modern day mafia, homemakers who grew pot, and cereal killers who killed cereal killers, created a show about her Eastern European close knit family struggling to survive during the dawn of the Industrial revolution. Much like the neighbors and characters chronicled in Uptan Sinclairs "the Jungle," her characters faced extreme conditions and felt great tragedy. The edgy twist was a pair of attractive young siblings, taken advantage of by their oversexed slum lord, and forced into work at much to young of an age. The sexual trauma of her characters, the close quarters of the slum, the treatment of the families of the "new wave" of unwanted immigrants, and the cinematically raw grittiness of the period made for exactly the type of show the public wanted. As her brilliant writing took off with the show, she realized her characters were the perfect platform to work through her own issues that she had developed for her brother. The close incestuous encounters on the show kept Hollywood abuzz, and she was hailed for her work.
Part 5)
Just as she thought her issues were started to resolve themselves and she was moving on with her life (as she was dating a hot Hollywood star who unlike most seemed to finally be ready to settle down), she stumbles upon information about her mother's sperm donor registry. The registry tracks where eggs and sperm come from according to donation site, donor ID number, and it is updated by mothers who conceive. Donors who donate at multiple locations were also allowed to link ID's once the registry was created. There is quite a process to link ID, but even if it is remotely possible two ID's could be the same donor, the site makes mention of it. The registry doesn't give names, but if two people want to know if they are related, they are able to see if their sperm donor IDs matche. Unfortunatley, it won't reveal a father for those seeking that type of informaton, but for two people who both know they were artificially insemenated, it is nice to know they aren't related if they plan on hooking up. She begins her quest to discover the truth about where her and her brother came from and what the real story is behind their conceptions. Along her quest she encounters some of her childhood friends and learns some startling things. Not only does she find the information about her and her brother, but she discovers a somewhat scientific underworld that she really never comprehended she was involved in as a child. She also finds that incest isn't as taboo as she thought and the early sexualization of her and her brother may not have been by accident. It brings up old issues, but still excites her at what she has found.
Part 6)
Her excitement leads her to discover that she and her brother aren't at all biologically related. She had expected to find that her mother used two different donors for sperm, but what she discovered was a little shocking. She thought their mother received only donor sperm, but that wasn't the case. Her brother (who was only 10 months older than her because she was conceived at the first possible chance after her brother was born and she was born 9 weeks early because of complications) was actually conceived from a donor egg and sperm. Their mother was actually only biologically her mother and her "early birth" may not have been an accident at all. There were a lot of questions surrounding the origin of her brothers conception. It seems that in the early stages of artificial insemenation, some of the biologic and genetic scholars took some liberties with the donation and conception process. To determine the viability of freezing and harvesting eggs and to see if there was any developmental issues with the process. A brilliant scientist used her own eggs over a period of a few years to help prove some of her own research. Her batch of eggs and even some of the sperm of one of her collegues wound up the subject of a conference on artificial insemenation, and as strange as it may sound, a black market was instantly created that tainted an otherwise honest donation pool and led to some very questionable biologic, psychologic and sociologic studies. Her mother was one of the women willing to be in essence, a test subject for the misguided scientist's experiment. She didn't know it as a child either, but she was actually a small part of the experiment. As the nature/nurture debate was raging at the time of her and her brother's conception, her and her brother were experimental and control subjects in the experiment. Their physical development, intellectual development and social development was all tracked and studied. Her mom and all her hippy freak scientist friends were actually doing underground research on her and her brother and even some of her closest friends as a child. Some of her closest friends as children were all actually twins, which she started to think might have been the plan for her and her brother, but the other egg and sperm must not have taken when her brother was conceived. Most of the twins she encountered now, years after this crazy experiment were actually not biologically related either. However, one of the twins was one of a number of "siblings" created as a control group for their study with the lead scientist's own eggs and the sperm of her colleague. Infuriated, distrought, and utterly in shock, she didn't know what to do, but she knew she had to talk to her brother since their mother had been dead for a few years, and all this information was just now coming to light.
Part 7)
The male sibbling who is now happily living his new life is confronted by his sister. She makes a desperate plea to for help to clean out the rest of their mom's things at their old house. They had kept it since their mom passed, but the real estate management agency that was renting the property for them went under with the housing market downturn. They had much of their mother's things stored in the attic of the the house. The ******ts never used it, and since the management company stopped looking after the property, it was about time they cleaned out all that was left and got the house in order for a deserving family to have the chance to buy the beautiful old home. She had a good reason to reconnect with her brother, and was hoping to spend the long three day weekend going over her discovery and digging through some of their mother's things to find more about the study they were unwillingly a part of as children. She tells him about the registry, what she found, and all the emotions that she has gone through since they had drifted apart. Of course he has seen her psychological analization of their relationship play out on her hit TV show, but he never really realized that it was that difficult for her to move on with her life. He always saw some of her plot lines as a cheap shot at their history together and somewhat embarrassing because some of their friends who knew them in college might actually be able to pick up on some of the "too close to home" moments that were written into the script. She tries to reason with him that all the shame she's felt since the sexual encounters of their past is pointless because they were never biologically related, but she still can't get over the true feelings she has for him. There have been lots of attempts at a real man in her life, but they have all been poor substitutes for him, and she has come to realize it. She knows that they were manipulated as children, they have faced a lot of challenges together, and that she wouldn't be as smart, as strong, as gifted or as happy as she it today, without him in her life. Most of what she has done in the past ten years is writing herself into the past where she was the happiest she's been. The success of her current show only reaffirms that she knows what makes her happy. Sure, maybe it is a gritty or edgy storyline filled with incestuous tension that has made her show so successful, but she isn't going to deny that the love that she is pouring into her show isn't directed towards him. Although it is a complete shock and a past her brother has tried very hard to forget, the time, the place and the circumstance overwhelm him. He finally gives into his urges for his sister, and without the excuse of college partying or teenage experimentation, he finally embraces the moment with the girl he was raised to know as his sister.
Part 8)
They discover more about their mother's past, but find that the "scientific research" didn't seem to last very long in her circle. Many of the participants started feeling a little guilt that their own children were under the microscope, differences in standardization, research methodology, and even rights to publication drove most of them apart. The ones that stuck together had conversations about "the study," but the fear of exposing their unethical methods made them find creative ways to "discover" nature and nurture differences outside of their own children. Thus, the group became more of a think-tank and/or social club. As their weekend progressed in the house, however, the siblings nurtured their own desires, and seemingly without consequence indulged in a solitary time together free from responsibility, reminders of where their lives were currently headed, and who they were currently involved with. He goes most of the long weekend without thinking about his wife, but he keeps coming back to a few things. For everything his wife is, he is incredibly greatful. She just understands him and their language is on such a deep level. They can speak volumes to each other without saying a word. She knows him like no woman has even know him, not even his sister. She is his mirror, and he knows it. Unfortunately, he is sometimes tired of looking in the mirror. His sister is a reminder that what he is not is a challenge. He always loved his sister for bringing the best out in him. Challenging him to be something he never thought he could be and pushing him to become more. His protective instincts in high school made him a hero when he came to her rescue. His scientific mind swam with joy in the emotional wanderings of his sister. He may have been lost at times, but his sister was the compliment to him that made him alive. With his wife, he was at home, with his sister, he was lost in the world with the one person who made it a true adventure. Sexually, he discovered the same thing. His wife and he had their routine that was magical on many levels, but it was his sister who presented the challenge, and when he was "up" for it, he felt on top of the world.
Part 9)
Now that the weekend is through, he must approach real life again. Full of guilt and shame, he returns to his normal life and wife. He and his sister didn't go into what was next for them. She tried that once before and it didn't work out for her. She was happy with what had happened and what she had discovered. However, he could't stop thinking about his sister, the registry, and all the events of the past few days. His wife was also a lab baby. The shock of everything he'd learned about his sister and mom almost made him forget about his wife and what it could mean for their own relationship. They were just now thinking about kids, so it isn't like it ever came up in blood tests or anything like that. They always felt pretty safe knowing that they were raised on different sides of the country. The likelihood of one sperm donor donating in Northern California and New England in the same year was so improbable, the two never discussed researching their histories. They new they would never know their biologic fathers and there were enough court battles that they knew none of it would be unsealed. The registery however was intriguing to him. His wife was actually born on the same day as he. It was one of the many coincidences that they shared that made them think of fate and serendipity when discussing how they came together, but never was anything they questioned. They were also both raised by scientifically minded professional college professors who worked in the field of human biology and reproductive studies. He knew his mother-in-law had heard of his mother, and they had even lectured to each other at a few conferences through the course of their careers, but his mother had passed by the time he met his wife. He couldn't help but think about more and more of their similarities, some similarities that brought them together in the first place. Sure they were raised on opposite side of the country, but what his sister shared with him made him search the registry. Knowing his world had already been turned upside down, he was absolutely floored to find out who his wife was. They may have been raised on opposite sides of the country, but that didn't prevent their mothers from attending the same conference on artificial insemenation back when they were conceived. In fact, they were both concieved in the same labratory with the batch of harvested eggs on the same weekend. They are brother and sister and she is one of his many siblings he has just now come to discover. Like the 5 other siblings that his sister discovered, his wife too is his biologic sister. Worse yet, since they were born on the same day, they are basically twins, just carried in two separate women at the same time.
Part 10)
Once he discovers this, he has to come clean with his wife, but he still struggles with what he should say about his sister. Does he tell his wife about his sexual misconduct? Is it even sexual misconduct anymore concidering he is sleeping with his own twin? Now he is torn between the woman he loves who is his actual genetic twin sister, and the woman who loves him who is the sister he was raised with all his life.
