Incest....pain or pleasure?

[docpack]

Yeah I dont know it for sure.I dont how much is this a generalised feeling but I wanna just speak out...I got addicted to read those kinda incsetuous and youngage stories and just couldnt keep myself from reading those kinda subject.Due to some unknown (but very strong)stimulus I start reading those stories.....just keep reading for few hours and atlast some 3 or 4 hours later have a great orgasm.
Thats the pleasure part of it.As soon as I my urge getsover black cloud covers me up.I feel damn guilty and I couldnt concentrate on my work/studies atleast for few hours and this repeats atleast once a week and had been so for the past 5 years.(And most of the time I will be drunk while I do so).
I am an Indian male just 25 single in the field of medicine and in a family with all kinda relations you can guess and just cannot expect any such thing to happen in real life.Also I cannot waste much time to feel guilty for something which is not going to get me anything and...........I very well know my personality is changing..... slowly.
I dont know what to do....

 

[Starfish]

Are you getting turned on by the stories you are reading, or are you thinking about your family..Big difference.
I get turned on by the idea of being some other young woman who lusts after her father, but I would never want to have sex with my real dad. It's just kinky, and that's what is getting you all hot about it. Don't feel so bad, as long as you know the difference, you're fine. If your urges are strong, to act out your fantasies, find a sexual partner who relates to your urges, and that is willing to role play.

My best advice in the long run is trying to not drink alcohol...
Alcohol is a very distructive substance...Ganja is less destructive than boooze.