In the spirit of christmas

[wishfulthinking]

and forgiveness and letting bygones be bygones...

I'm down to 5 on my ignore list.

Who are you forgiving this chrissie?

 

[RhapsodyInRed]

My ex husband. I figure the ass needs someone to forgive him.

 

[oggbashan]

No one.

I don't have to wait until Christmas. Holding a grudge hurts only me.

Og

(Whether they have forgiven me? That's another story.)

 

[wishfulthinking]

My ex husband. I figure the ass needs someone to forgive him.

LOL

 

[simply_cyn]

Sadly, the one person I would forgive can't even see that she did anything wrong.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Sadly, the one person I would forgive can't even see that she did anything wrong.

Always difficult when the person who has wronged you refuses to see where they did so. If you have the ability to forgive that, you're defintely on Santa's Nice list

*HUGS*

 

[wishfulthinking]

Sadly, the one person I would forgive can't even see that she did anything wrong.

That's rough.

Stubborn, or just different views on life?

 

[Guest]

Hmmmmm

This is very hard this year...
Going into Yule I had... several people that just thinking about them still hurt everything inside of me....
some of my wonderful family here has been so supportive and so loving making sure that even when I cried and hurt that I knew what they thought of me and how much they loved me.....
additionally... there is a "He" that has been so wonderful and so amazing...and that "He" asked me something today in front of his whole family that makes the smile stick to my face and fill my heart to overflowing....

Forgiveness... I can give
Forgetting... that I can't do, it makes sure that I never trust the ones that I did again... a friend tells me that I am naive or maybe too trusting... that's okay... its better to be those things and put myself out there then to be closed off and closed up forever

Forgiving... I already did that....

 

[simply_cyn]

I wish I really could pinpoint what went wrong. Break down of communication, in the long run I suppose. It's the things that happened after the initial miscommunication that stung ... things said, things done that I would never would have thought would ever happen from the one person that I loved and thought that I could trust and that would trust me, no matter what.

Sadly, one can't turn back the hands of time. It still hurts, I suppose, to a degree that makes it hard for me to just "let go". Thankfully some good things, too, have come from it so I'm not sure I would "turn back the hands of time" and do it all over again. Then the outcome wouldn't have been what it was supposed to be. Like I truly believe ... God has a purpose for all that happens. I keep holding on to that.

I think the one thing that hurts the most is the vindictive, nasty comments and lies spread that followed the wake of something that should have never happened in the first place. But then I learned a great deal about my friend and myself in the process. I keep telling myself that it was something that was bound to happen at one time or another ... my time finally came round and I got burned in the process. Deep wounds turn to scars ... scars heal but never quite go away.

That's where I am right now. Forgiveness is something I used to give out freely and without question. But I've learned that I can't just take what is said, especially online, at face value. I'm not sure I've reached the forgiveness stage just because of the continued refusal on the other side to see that mistakes were made both ways around but that emotions escalated it where it should have never been. It's just going to take me longer to let it go. I can see that ...

I still refuse to be cynical even though every part of me screams that I trust too easily. Maybe I do.

I think one of my New Year's goals will be never to let a person online get too close to me ever again, even in just a friendship capacity. Kinda sad for a New Year's resolution, huh?

 

[SamanthaSmith]

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

Samantha

 

[Guest]

Always difficult when the person who has wronged you refuses to see where they did so. If you have the ability to forgive that, you're defintely on Santa's Nice list

*HUGS*

That is so true, Colly. You are indeed wise.

My sister and I haven't seen eye-to-eye for several years. It's a shame, as we were the best of friends. We spoke almost daily on the phone, knew everything that was happening with each other - I miss that.

But life stresses, relationships, family situations - sometimes things change.

When I spoke about it with the ministers of my church, about how unhappy I was with this situation, I was told, "Apologize."

I said, "What? For what?"

She said, "It doesn't matter. Apologize, it will open up the lines of communication, and you'll be closer to resolving your issues. Do this for your parents, as well as yourselves."

She is right, of course. But damn it, anyway. I haven't apologized yet.


(Edited to add - I'd rather bitch-slap my sister these days, so an apology is really tough to manage through gritted teeth.)

 

[matriarch]

No one.

I don't have to wait until Christmas. Holding a grudge hurts only me.

Og

(Whether they have forgiven me? That's another story.)

I agree.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

 

[matriarch]

Hmmmmm

This is very hard this year...
Going into Yule I had... several people that just thinking about them still hurt everything inside of me....
some of my wonderful family here has been so supportive and so loving making sure that even when I cried and hurt that I knew what they thought of me and how much they loved me.....
additionally... there is a "He" that has been so wonderful and so amazing...and that "He" asked me something today in front of his whole family that makes the smile stick to my face and fill my heart to overflowing....

Forgiveness... I can give
Forgetting... that I can't do, it makes sure that I never trust the ones that I did again... a friend tells me that I am naive or maybe too trusting... that's okay... its better to be those things and put myself out there then to be closed off and closed up forever

Forgiving... I already did that....

It's impossible to get through life, enduring all those human emotions that make us just that - human - without suffering the bad as well as the bad. If we trust and love, at some point, we will be hurt, because not everyone values and love and trust in the way you do.

It's just something we have to be prepared for. You could easily go through life not being hurt, not having things to forgive, simply by shutting yourself off from those emotions that cause the hurt. But you cannot choose which emotions, which feelings to block. You block out the bad, you will also block out the good. The two are inseperable. Both sides of the coin. What would be the point in life?? Existence against living? I know which I prefer, every time.

I've been hurt to the depth of my core, many, many times. It hurt. It hurt very very much, and brought me close to the edge at least once. Thankfully I found a friend who showed me how important it is to live. To be me. For that simple but essential lesson I will always be in her debt, and she in my heart.

We have to have the depth of spirit to forgive those who hurt us, and move on. However hard.

I'm glad I did. Look what magic and beauty I found, in the arms of the woman I love.

 

[hugo_sam]

Holding a grudge hurts only me.

Og

(Whether they have forgiven me? That's another story.)

I agree.

You are both so right.

But, that does not lessen the hurt caused by such a quantity of lies, told with malice and forethought. Still begging the question: WHY?

Thank the heavens for friends that have principles, are truthful and stand by you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Who are you forgiving this chrissie?

No one.

I don't have to wait until Christmas. Holding a grudge hurts only me.

Og

(Whether they have forgiven me? That's another story.)

I'm paddling in the same boat as Og.

If we trust and love, at some point, we will be hurt, because not everyone values and love and trust in the way you do.

Nicely put, Mats.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[simply_cyn]

I was told, "Apologize."

I said, "What? For what?"

She said, "It doesn't matter. Apologize, it will open up the lines of communication, and you'll be closer to resolving your issues."

She is right, of course. But damn it, anyway. I haven't apologized yet.


(Edited to add - I'd rather bitch-slap my sister these days, so an apology is really tough to manage through gritted teeth.)

I have to say I am right there with you. There's this part of me that says "Ya know, just apologize ... even though, in the beginning, you did nothing wrong."

Thing is, too much (forgive the following, but it's true ...) SHIT has happened since then. Going back and apologizing now seems to be a contradiction of terms. Yup, since the initial "wrong-doing", I'd much rather forgo the apologizing and go straight to the bitch-slapping. It just seems to fit both the situation AND my feelings at the time being.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Almost everyone on my ignore list- is various alts of brinnie and that's because she posts pics- and I surf in my living room with my family around me.

 

[BlackSnake]

Almost everyone on my ignore list- is various alts of brinnie and that's because she posts pics- and I surf in my living room with my family around me.

Yup, I toned down my AV to nill, so I woundn't offend anyone

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yup, I toned down my AV to nill, so I woundn't offend anyone

It's a mixed favor you did us... Post a pic of her in her new necklace!

 

[Samandiriel]

I'm not forgiving.
I'm forgetting...erasing, deleting and shredding.

 

[impressive]

I forgive -- always. However, I cannot make myself forget the way someone made me feel -- be it good or bad. So, even though I forgive, my guard is forever up with that person. I'm still open to the whole gamut of emotions -- but parts of me will ever be closed to that particular individual.




And it's their loss.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I forgive -- always. However, I cannot make myself forget the way someone made me feel -- be it good or bad. So, even though I forgive, my guard is forever up with that person. I'm still open to the whole gamut of emotions -- but parts of me will ever be closed to that particular individual.




And it's their loss.

Well said Imp, well said.

 

[simply_cyn]

I forgive -- always. However, I cannot make myself forget the way someone made me feel -- be it good or bad. So, even though I forgive, my guard is forever up with that person. I'm still open to the whole gamut of emotions -- but parts of me will ever be closed to that particular individual.

And it's their loss.

I don't think anyone could have said it better. That sums it up completely.

 

[SeaCat]

Amazingly I don't have anyone on ignore, even though one or two have made a concentrated effort to get there. I just can't find it in me to ignore people. Even the people who annoy me no end have something I can learn.

As for how many have me on ignore, I somehow think that list is growing daily.

Cat