In The Darkness... [closed]

[SandS13]

A stone tomb. She was a little surprised. When she had seen the body there had not seemed to be enough there to bother entombing, especially such a large one. A ritual, a burning...that was more along the lines of what she had expected, not this.

Her eyes lifted from the cold, grey of her father’s final resting place to take in the others. A ring of men and women all sombre and quiet. In truth, it wasn’t all the different from any other gathering. They weren’t exactly a feasting, dancing sort. No, they were the chanting, conjuring dark sort.

All gathered to mourn the death of her father, their ruler and leader in all things. Conrad De Valance had come to this place and made it his home. It was a hard land between areas occupied by humans, dwarves and elves. He had once been of a noble family, fourth of eight children. He left when his parents sought to control his innate magic abilities. He did not want to be stifled but to explore what it could do. He gathered to him those of a darker magic, those shunned from their own kind because they sought answers that lived in the shadows. They were feared and Conrad basked in that.

Now he was dead and they would turn to another to lead.

One began to chant. Then another. And two more, voices all mingling together. She remained perfectly still as she watched them. She did not chant, did not raise her voice to join the chorus.

Roisin, Conrad’s only child, was not like the others. She was like her mother and had no magical abilities. She also was not entirely sure she was in mourning. She was numb, almost impassive to what was going on. It was not that she didn’t care for her father, he was her father and she was not a heartless person but she reflected what she had learned. Her mother, before she had withdrawn and then died had been the one of love though it was a love tinged by sadness. Not that Roisin knew the difference. When one was raised in a place like this sadness, cold and emotionless was what one knew.

At this moment this was not a memorial, a funeral but just another gathering. Her eyes fell back to the stone coffin, the cold and hard vessel that held what was left of her father’s remains. This wasn’t just any gathering. He was dead and with his death went the last of her family. Roisin was alone.

The chanting had stopped and it took a moment for the echo of the voices on the stone walls of the catacomb to fade out. Once more the young woman looked up. She found the eyes on her as if waiting for something. Roisin realized they were turning to her to speak on her father’s memory.

She lifted her chin and took a small step forward. Her eyes were the only thing that spoke of a heritage tinged with magic. She bore not the eyes of either parent but a strange mix of blue, white with flecks of brown. They looked like someone had taken sodalite stones and put them where the irises of her eyes should be. Her height and frame were her mother’s, feminine with soft curves at breast and hip. Her hair, her father’s though longer, jet black and wavy like the ocean at night. It hung past her backside.

“His life was spent pursuing knowledge, exploring where others had feared to look. His legacy lives in those who gathered around him.”

She should say more but she had nothing else. She did not really know her father. Roisin turned her head to look to her left and right. Her father’s main advisor’s, his generals..however he referred to them stood to either side. She wanted to defer to them but she could feel the expectations being placed around her like a cloak.

A cold sweat trickled down her spine. She was no leader. She had no magic. She was not her father.

 

[The_gladiator]

The dark lands. The name of the place alone was enough to send shivers of fear through the law-abiding citizens of the world. It was in both elven, human and dwarven nature to fear the unknown. All the societies had done their part to build up the stories of these lands. Contrary to popular belief demons did not inhabit its spaces. It was not roamed by soul sucking succubi—nay—those sexy demonesses would much prefer the life energy of one of their “pure” cities. However, tales like these abounded and made the dark reality of the dark lands even more ominous than the reality could ever be.

No, the dark lands weren’t what people thought, but they were a grim place, caught in a world of harsh reality. They were the place that society’s rejects went. When any of the pure societies felt they had a member that could no longer be trusted to live their lives out in their unified midst they were cast out into the Dark Lands. When the practice started, they generally died of exposure, of starvation or loneliness. However, over time the cast outs began to work together. The dwarves dug them tunnels for defense from the fierce winged wiverns and dragon kind that frequented the lands. The elven castoffs sung the trees into homes that they could inhabit in times of peace. The humans farmed the land, and over time the dark lands were actually the only part of the entire world where all three races got along so well. Everywhere else, there was not but uneasy peace that often erupted into war.

Every so often into a place like this a demagogue would rise. Conrad De Valance had been one such demagogue. His followers had followed him fanatically and he had been poised to strike at the other lands before his untimely death, or was it timely. It somewhat depended on who you asked. From where Ettrian Magris stood, it was quite timely. More accurately it was finally done. He had planned the fool’s downfall for many years.

It said something sinister about Ettrian that he could stand in a circle of power mourning a man he had tricked into killing himself. Damn fool had overextended himself, and justice had found him. There was a code of honor among the thieves and outlaws of the Dark Lands, and too much power too much cruelty was not good for their collective survival. They never wanted to encourage the elves, humans and dwarves to band together to annihilate them, and Conrad had been dangerously close to that point.

What would happen now, though? Ettrian certainly did not want the leadership himself. He was a power behind the throne sort. Honestly preferring to keep to his home, to live with what peace he could find in these lands. Conrad had pulled him out of his solitary exile, or more accurately his beautiful and lonely wife Pricilla had. Ettrian squashed that train of thinking, it served no purpose at this time. Melancholy did not serve him and he needed to stay present in the moment. He had to get through this farse.

Farse it was. Whose idea had it been to entomb a pile of ashes in such a gaudy monument? He sensed the hands of the two generals flanking Conrad’s daughter Roisin in that decision. Even now the dwarf Thurgau blackfist was turning to her. “Is that all ye have to say about yer father?” Spitting on the ground. “Deserves better than that I’m thinkin.”

On the other side Alexei Buckner leaned in closer, his voice almost a sibilant hiss. “What my esteemed colleague means to say is these followers are expecting more, they’re expecting leadership. Thurgau has no magic, and I am your father’s dark justice,” That was to say, no one would follow the lead of the necromancer assassin.

“Pretty words I speak plainly, ye must lead girly fer neither of us can.”

“You must pick a mentor my queen, you hold your father’s potential for magic. You have to find someone here to teach you.”

“By that he means ye gotta be askin the elf.” Thurgau said with another hawking of phlegm onto the stone, shooting a suspicious glance to Ettrian who gazed back impassively from under his hood, pretending that he was not hearing the entire exchange. Clearly the general didn’t trust the elf as far as he could throw him, but he was practical to the extreme.

“Ettrian would be a good choice,” Alexei agreed.

“Only choice you mean, any of these others suspect weakness they will feast.” And as Thurgau finished his sentence both generals swept their gaze around at the rest of the circle, who were all lost in prayer, breathing the smoke from the brasiers, letting the potent drugs take them away. The only ones not lost to the hypnotic aromas were the generals, Roisin herself and the elf who stood in the circle, but yet apart, the others giving him a wide birth like they suspected something about him.

 

[SandS13]

It was almost like the pressure in the room changed as they came to her. They moved closer, flanking her and Roisin fought the urge to flee.

She lifted her chin a little and looked at Thurgau. Her eyes fell to where he had spit. She bit her tongue. She wanted to tell him that she didn’t give a flying fuck what he thought her father deserved. If he expected more than he should have been the one to speak. She had absolutely nothing more to say about the man who had been so focused on his magic that Roisin often wondered if he even remembered he had a daughter.

A feeling of unease crept up her spine as Alexei’s voice filled her ears. It was like he was trying to worm his way into her brain, the way he talked and moved closer to her. She had feared for a long time that her father might force her to marry Alexei.

As they spoke she could almost feel her shoulders growing heavier. Roisin glanced back and forth between them but kept her composure. Only her eyes moved. Her body was still poised, her hands now folded and resting at her abdomen.

“You seem to forget I have never really shown an aptitude for magic. I do agree though, neither of you can lead.” She kept her tone hard and cold. Roisin didn’t want them to know how much being called ‘my queen’ had rattled her.

Roisin took a step back so she could see Thurgau and Alexei. “I will speak with Ettrian. Have someone send him to my rooms.” She turned on her heel and left them. She needed to go as her hands were trembling.

No weakness...if others thought her weak they would likely kill her in order to rule. She could not rule out Thurgau or Alexei from that option as well. She must maintain a show of cold, hard leadership but magic would be the key. Magic she had never seemed to develop though it was often implied she had potential. She often wondered if that was just a rumour, something spread to keep her position protected by her father. If so, it was one of the very few things he had done for her.

In her room, she closed the door and leaned heavily upon it. A hand went to her chest as she fought the rising panic and fear.

Queen.

What did she know about ruling these people? She was a fighter, favouring sword and bow over chanting and spells. But she was the former ruler’s daughter, the next in line. There were a few ways this could play out. She could marry someone who would rule with her. She could take control and rule on her own. Either way she knew there would be those who might seek to kill her, to be rid of her to seize power for themselves. As much as Roisin hated the idea she knew the pair were right. No matter what happened next she could show no weakness, give no quarter to those who opposed her.

Cold she could do. It was what she knew.

She took a deep breath, shaking hands smoothing her dress as she walked away from the closed door. She began to undo the black gown, sliding it from her arms and down her body until she could step out of it. It remained in a pile in the main sitting room as she walked to her bedroom.

While there were servants to help with dressing and such, Roisin favoured having her own space. The servants, she was aware, only did the role to earn her father’s favour. Now, it would be safer without them. What was to stop one of them for slitting her throat as they combed her hair?

She pulled on deer skin leggings, a black loose shirt and pulled a black corset around her middle. She tightened it, fastening the front. The slippers she wore were kicked off and replaced with boots that came up just below her knee.

At least she would feel more like herself when they sent him to see her. Ettrian’s presence was a mixed blessing. He had been a friend to her mother, even trying to see her when she was at her worst, just before her death. Roisin had vague memories of him sitting on a chair as her mother stared out the window. Like every other memory it held sadness as if the very air here was alive with the emotion.

He was also...unnerving. Not in the way Alexei was but in the way that she knew he was dangerous, more dangerous than any other she had ever met but it was almost more the potential for danger. Her father had relied on him heavily for his knowledge of magic. It was said only Ettrian could match her father in that area.

As she brushed her hair, Roisin wondered if he would even come at her request. She stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes so strange in colour staring back at her.

If he doesn’t come what will I do?

“And if he does come, what then?” Her voice echoed off the walls, her doubt and worry bouncing back at her.

 

[The_gladiator]

The elf watched the dwarf general’s approach. “Queen will be seein ya in her chambers.” Ettrian lifted an eyebrow to Thurgau.

“I was not aware that I was a flunky that could be summoned at will.”

“What my gruff friend means to say is the queen has requested your presence at your earliest convenience.” Green elven eyes examined the smooth-talking Alexei.

“That does sound a bit more respectful necromancer, do you know what she wishes.

“She be a new queen. Makin sense to see where she stands with her allies me thinks,” Thurgau grunted. To which Ettrian merely nodded.

“As you say. I will go see her, but know this, it is not because I was ordered to do so.”

“What ever your reasons, just do it,” Alexei hissed. Slender elven hands lifted as if to perform magic, causing Alexei to raise his own hands in concession. “We will leave you to it elf.”

Ettrian swept away from them, hands disappearing into the Tan robes he wore. To those in the know the color was a symbol of his neutrality in the magic world. He was too dark to ware white robes, too moral to give in completely to the dark, so just as this place was apart so was the gray of his robes, somewhere in the middle, a part of both colors, yet apart from both.

Making his way to her chambers, the black-haired elf knocked firmly. He was expected so after knocking he let himself in. He stepped into the room. His eyes flicked to the fallen dress on the carpet. His eyes swept the room, half expecting her to step out naked. It did not happen of course. Folding his hands together in his sleaves he took a seat on her sofa. He would wait for her to emerge from her bedroom, silently wondering what she wanted, he had his ideas but was unsure exactly what it would be.

 

[SandS13]

She heard the knock but did not move. It was as if fear kept her bonded to her spot. Someone had come. Was it a servant or was it the elven mage? Roisin’s mouth was dry and she wished she had had food and drink brought for him.

How was she going to handle that? She could be poisoned at any time. The sound of the door opening and closing got her attention. She couldn’t hear the footsteps but the couch did make a noise as someone sat down.

Roisin straightened up and forced herself to move. She stepped out of the bedroom to the sight of the elf on the couch. “Thank you for coming, Ettrain. I had hoped to discuss something with you, something that was brought to my attention.”

She tried to sound confident and collected as she crossed the rest of the room to sit in a chair, adjacent to the couch. Her back was straight, hands folded in her lap. “My father is dead and I am to be queen. As you know, of course.” Roisin wanted to roll her eyes but did not as she focused on Ettrain. She could not let him see her fear and unease.

“As you also know I, like my mother, have no innate magic ability though it is said that it is expected I do. It was suggested that I consult with you. You were second in magic ability only to my father I am told. I have also heard that you surpassed him.”

She was trying so hard to be formal, to sound like a queen. He made her so uneasy. “You should be ruler, Ettrain. We both know that. You have the magic that will cause the others to follow you. It cannot be, not without my death but I am not a fool to think I can easily lead my father’s followers. I do not know that I whole heartedly believe in his ambitions.”

Roisin frowned. “Would you consider helping me..not helping perhaps more mentor me as my father’s generals have suggested? If not for the good of the people here then perhaps out of respect for my father’s memory?” Even she could not make it sound like it was a convincing argument.

Her hands unfolded and then refolded as she realized she was nervous. She wanted to get up, to pace but that would not be regal of her, she was certain. A hair tickled her nose and Roisin quickly wiped it away, tucking her black as night hair behind her ear.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian sat, hands folded in opposite sleaves as she approached and stiffly sat in a chair. He unconsciously angled to face her. That was part of his nature, when he seemed to forget himself, he was very open and welcoming, it was only through practice that he cultivated his aloof aura. “You have untapped ability, yes.” He stated it as if it were fact, not rumor. He snorted. “Your father’s abilities were a flame to a son when compared with someone born to the elves. He practiced magic; my people live it.” He was not arrogant, not bragging, what he was stating was simple fact in his eyes. “It pleased him to thin he were the stronger. It cost me nothing.”

He shook his head, “I do not wish to rule, as to your father’s ambitions they were beyond foolish.” He had to tread lightly here lest he tip his hand, he could not afford for her to turn on him. “I cautioned restraint, unless we garner the interest of unwanted eyes.”

He frowned just a bit at her words about her father’s memory. He managed to not vent his spleen at her father in that moment, he had after all already killed him, revenge did not get better than that. “For your father’s memory, nay. For you, for the memory of another, perhaps.” He studied her, “Are you willing to learn?” he asked. “I found your father aggressive, bullheaded and not willing to listen to the advice that he sought out. Are you different?”

He seemed to consider her for a long moment, “Why put yourself through this though, why not just flee?”

 

[SandS13]

Roisin barely stopped herself from frowning at his statement.

Her, untapped ability? Her? How could he possibly think that? It was a hope not a fact. Did he sense something? He barely knew her. She had always hidden when he had visited her mother, watched him from secret places. She was protective of her mother. She did not know the cause ut she knew her mother was very sad. At her very worst had even lost her sense of reality.

Roisin willed the memories away to focus on his words. He didn’t to rule. It was strange. She had thought all her father’s followers were ambitious and desiring of ruling this place.

She fought a slight smile as he said he would not do it for her father’s memory. There was no love or even respect it seemed between them. Fear. Her father feared the elf, Roisin was sure of that.

“Flee?” She gave a hard laugh. “And go where? I am the daughter of Conrad De Valance. There is no where I can go where that will not haunt me. I cannot exactly hide among regular humans.” She gestured to her eyes. “And if I flee, I will be branded a traitor and hunted. I can fight but I do not want to spend a life running. I will never have peace.”

Roisin shook her head. “I do not know how to lead but I am who they turn to. I am not my father. I do not have his ambitions or his twisted thoughts. I am stubborn, I cannot lie and say I am not. You say I have untapped ability. I have never seen it but you are the user of magic, not I. All I can do is learn. I would seek your help as a mentor.”

It was her turn to study him though he seemed unreadable. “You had no love for my father but you would help me for the memory of my mother. I remember you visiting her, even when she did not seem to be in her right mind and did not acknowledge anyone. You cared for her.”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian considered her. “Nay, I loved her. Probably more than I should have.” His words hung in the air. Ettrian probably shouldn’t have said that to her, been so open, but even that felt like a falsehood, her memory had been suppressed too long he wanted it known what she’d meant to him, now that Conrad was dead.

“I would be more than a mentor. You will need to learn to master magic. You will have to trust me, you would have at times trust your life to me, all while leading your people. You are wise to realize that you would have no peace. Peace is a lie. As soon as you realize that only then can you find the peace you seek. All peace outside ourselves is a lie. Only from within can we find peace.” This was a bit cryptic but important to his teachings. “You will need patience to work with me, patience your father did not possess.”

 

[SandS13]

While she suspected that the elf had cared for her mother, his statement, so bold and open like that still shocked her. For him to speak it aloud meant he no longer felt the need to hide with her father dead.

Roisin’s eyes were the only things that gave her surprise away. The slight widening of them, the lift of her eyebrows.

Ettrian gave her no room to ask questions though as he turned his attention to the matter at hand. Her. She listened to his statements. Trust him with her life. Trust was not something she did easily. Growing up here, among those of the shadows trust was not an easy thing. And now more than ever Roisin didn’t think she would trust anyone at all. Yet that was what he was asking for. Trust in him.

“Patience I have. I learned it from my mother. Trust is not an easy thing for me.” Roisin stated. She sat in silence for a few moments contemplating his words, weighing her options.

She didn’t want this but if this was her fate then she was going to do it her way.

“I will study under you and you will help me to rule. I will trust you because I will need to have at least one person in this place who I can be sure is not trying to kill me or manipulate me.” Roisin lifted her chin a little. She stood and put a hand out to him.

“On the memory of my mother we will seal this agreement.”

 

[The_gladiator]

“You should only trust even me only so far,” he cautioned her. “You may trust me in the world of magic because I will be your master, your mentor. I would caution you not to trust me too far in every aspect that you become complacent. I am not saying that you have anything to fear from me, but as any in these dark lands, I will always look after myself first, I would not still be alive if I didn’t. However, when it comes to magic, I will help you learn to trust me.”

As she stood and offered him a hand, he rose slowly his slender hands slid from the sleaves of his robes. He took her hand in his. His eyes locking to hers, intense. “That is a strong thing to seal such an agreement on, after I just told you what she meant to me. Yes, on her memory I agree to do this.” His hand was cool in hers. He lifted it slowly as he bowed over it, his eyes never leaving hers. It was the way a martial artist bowed, one that thought their opponent would attack if they looked away. He let his lips brush lightly over the back of her hand.

The touch of his hand on hers confirmed what he already knew from her eyes, he could feel the magic inside her, raw, untapped. He could feel it wanting out, drawn up to meet the fire of his own gift inside him. He let her hand drop almost shivering at the feel of the raw power. There was hunger in his eyes now as he looked again into her eyes, though not the hunger for her body, but for her power.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin made note of his warning. Even he was not to be trusted in all things. She couldn’t help but wonder what secrets this elf hid but she stayed her tongue. Somehow, she didn’t quite believe him that she had nothing to fear from him.

Learning magic. Magic she did not have and despite his telling her it was there she could not find it within herself. It had been her father’s greatest disappointment. Everything about her conception, her birth and appearance should have spoke of great magic and power and yet....nothing. The girl had been exotic in looks but like her mother seemingly devoid of any arcane abilities. Yet here this elf was telling her she had some and he would train her, teach her. Roisin wanted to laugh and wish him luck.

Instead, she watched as he rose and took her hand. Everything he did seemed calculated and careful. She almost flinched as he stared into her eyes. She was not used to being the one to react. It was others who did when they met her face, not the other way around. Of course, his stared back at her with an intensity she was not used to. That was what was disconcerting.

He sealed the deal on his love for her mother, her memory. She had hoped it was enough to at least make her feel a bit more sure he was not going to simply kill her outright.

There was a strange feeling where his lips touched the back of her hand. Warm and yet, like a chill ran up her arm. His eyes, the way he looked at her made her feel like a rabbit about to be pounced on by a fox. No, a wolf.

“So it is done and sealed on her memory. You will have to tell me how you wish to proceed. In this, I am your student and servant. In other respects...I am your queen.” Doubt crept in as she spoke the words.

The knock on the door was a welcome distraction. It was opened without waiting for her words to enter. A cart was brought in with food and drink. Behind the servant was a tall, thin man. “I have some orders that need signing.” Adrian was a strange man. Tall and willowy. “Oh, and your new bodyguard has been issued.” He waved a hand and another figure entered.

He had dark hair and even darker skin. His hair was tied up on the right side of his head, out of the way of his collar. He bowed to her. “My queen, I am Osran. Your servant and shadow. I am sworn to protect your life.”

Roisin glanced at Ettrian. “Swore to whom? Not to me.” She approached him slowly. “How can I trust-”

His gaze bore deep into hers. “I swear on my life, on the life of my ancestors that I will protect you from all danger.”

Something about the way he said it, the way he looked at her Roisin knew he truly meant it. She nodded a little and swallowed, finding her mouth dry. “Very well.”

Osran moved to the cart and began to sample each dish and drink. Roisin was shocked but then realized he was checking for poison. She had to pull herself together and looked to Adrian. “Leave them for me to read. I will send for you when I am ready.”

“But your-”

“I said go. I wish to eat in peace.” She looked at Ettrian. “Will you stay and eat with me? Share a meal with your new student?”

 

[The_gladiator]

“Nay, you are the queen, you are not my queen. That is not a title you have earned yet.” Ettrian’s words were firm, but not harsh. Before she could respond or more could be discussed the knock came.

Ettrian stepped back as the servant entered followed by Adrian. The Seneschal probably wanted her to authorize the payment to the inns and families that were hosting the guests that had come for the funeral.

Ettrian dismissed his presence out of habit, he was no threat to him. However, his eyes narrowed at the sight of the dark-skinned monk that entered. He almost hissed like a snake, so great was his displeasure with the sight of the man. The hairstyle, the high stiff collar that were common to his order, the robes of deepest violet. A color that signified defiantly that he stood apart, not white of good, black of evil or gray of neutrality.

He watched her accept the shadow monk without hesitation and had to fight off his irritation. It was none of his business. But he had dealt with the order before. She had had a monk attached to her. He slammed the door on that train of thought. No good could come of thinking that.

Her words to him brought Osran’s attention to him. He was certain the monk had seen him before but this was the first time that he openly looked at him. He curled his lip.

“You should beware the company you keep my queen,” Osrin said in that tone, that voice he remembered. He didn’t know him specifically, but his order never raised their voice, yet everyone heard them. It was uncanny.

“Listen to the stick call the branch a piece of wood,” Ettrian snapped. “How can you just let this… this…” and finished with a word in dwarven meaning a slug with no honor. “Into your company, and just trust him to keep you safe?”

“The elf knows well that my word is true is good, the elf knows I would keep you safe. So, my queen the question becomes why would he call into doubt my abilities, why wouldn’t he want one of my skill protecting you?” Ettrian looked a bit caught off guard.

“I just meant…” He sighed, “Forgive me my queen, he is right. His order is honorable,” he spat out the word honorable. “I just have a bad history with them, and apologize that my control was less than perfect. My words were perhaps hasty though well meaning.” He bowed to Roisin, stiffly. “If you desire me to eat with you I shall, even with this…thing here as our constant shadow.”

 

[SandS13]

As the three of them stood there, door closing behind Adrian and the servant the men sized each other up.

The way Osran spoke was measured. Not spiteful or angry but it was clear he was warning Roisin about Ettrian. Why, that was what she could not figure out. All knew he was dangerous in his way but why comment so when he was already here?

The way the elf snapped at the man shocked Roisin. It became clear, very quickly that these two had a past. Be it them specifically or simply what they stood for she did not know. She looked between them. Her lips parted as if to answer Ettrian’s rebuke of her actions but Osran, steady and calm replied first.

She frowned. He was right. Why was Ettrian calling this man’s abilities into question? Roisin was confused, caught completely off guard by all of this and incredibly unsure what to do next.

Ettrian tried to soothe the situation in his way. She nodded her head once. “Your apology is accepted. History does have a way of clouding our emotions, making us react in a way that is more emotional than rational.” She hoped she sounded more sure than she felt.

“I would remind you that Osran is a man and my new guard. I would have him referred to as a man, not a thing. I will assume your emotions are to account for your lack of manners.” Roisin gestured to the food. “Please, help yourself to a plate and sit. Osran, will you eat?”

“No, my queen. I must be ever vigilant.”

“You must eat at some point…” Roisin cocked her head a little.

“Yes, but not in your presence.”

Honour and duty. The weight of it seemed to fill the air around her until Roisin wondered if it would smother her.

She waited for Ettrian to take his food before getting some for herself. Osran watched her, she could feel his eyes on her every movement. She was not terribly hungry but put some of the meat on her plate and poured a glass of the watered down wine. She sat at the small table with two chairs that was reserved in her room for dining. It occurred to her that this was the first time someone had dined with her since the woman who had looked after her was sent away. Roisin paused, her goblet to her lips. It felt as if in this moment everything was about to change.

She took a drink.

“So, we are on somewhat neutral grounds then. Ettrian is to be my mentor in magic, Osran. Osran will be my guard. Though I did not ask for one I assume it is required. You tell me his order is honourable so at least in that I can trust in my safety. I hope…” Roisin looked up at the men, glancing between them and even turning to face Osran in the shadows behind her. “That we can come to some sort of truce or at least peace. I do not wish to listen to the two of you spit insults at each other every time we are in the same room. I have enough shi- issues to worry about and to figure out without keeping you two from acting like children.” She was glad she had caught herself. She suspected that swearing wasn’t exactly regal or acceptable in a queen.

She raised her fork and knife and began cutting into the meat. “It seems I have some paperwork to do. Ettrian, when and where will my training begin?”

 

[The_gladiator]

“She just called you irrational.” Osran said in that even tone. Surely that wasn’t vindication in his tone. Ettrian had to be imagining it. The shadow monks did not gloat. It was beneath them. He was gloating, Ettrian just knew it. He wanted to punch that smug smirk off his face. He wasn’t smirking of course, but Ettrian could just see it in his posture. If the monk was permitted to smirk the smug bastard would be wearing one.

“Yes, emotion makes for some very bad manners,” Ettrian replied finally to her. Taking blame for it all, even though he was seething inside. He stepped to the cart and began to fill his plate.

He left all the meat, selecting some of the vegetables and other things of that nature. He ate meat on occasion, but it was completely up to him when he did. He would eat meat he had killed. It had died honorably in the circle of life, then, there was no honor in eating meat killed by another.

“Not expected.” Ettrian almost snapped as she erroneously spoke about how Osran’s presence was expected. “You were Selected for protection. You could send him away at any time and the monks would only shake their head with disapproval, if they even allowed themselves that much emotions. “He took a deep breath and she could see the shroud of control passing over him again. He turned his attention from that topic to her other question, “We will begin after the meal if it please my lady,” he offered in a much more neutral tone, “No time like the present.”

 

[SandS13]

Roisin put her fork and knife down and sat back in her chair. She looked at Ettrain’s plate, surprised to find it with no meat but she made no remark. She realized she knew very little about him. He had loved her mother though she was not sure how her mother felt. Roisin wondered if her father knew. She also wondered if Ettrian would tell her if she asked. She decided to hold onto that for now.

“I think it best to have a guard, especially if you can assure me he is honourable. I can fight but I am sure he is far more skilled and it is nice to know I have someone looking out for me. I do not this order...did my father have a guard? I never saw one.” She turned and looked at Osran.

He shook his head, eyes meeting hers. “No, as he stated you can simply send us away. Your father did not think he needed a guard. You are wiser than he and perhaps it will keep you alive in this hive of treachery.”

“You think there are some here who see to harm me?” Roisin cocked her head. She knew it was the truth. Her father had brought those shunned by their own together. None were above such things as murder.

“Those who are in positions of power and leadership are always in danger.”

Roisin turned back to look at Ettrian who had brought himself under control. He certainly did not like Osran or at least what he stood for. “After I see to those papers so Adrian does not pester me all night. What will this training entail?” She began eating her meal once more.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian was a little surprised that Conrad had ever been offered the services of one of the shadow monks. They did not champion every leader, or at least that was his understanding. However, it made sense. Conrad was doing something that was different enough that the Monks might want to preserve it. “I can assure you that they serve their own cause, but their duty has almost always been to protect the lives of leaders and nobility they champion. I have known of only a few cases wherein a Shadow Monk turned on the one they served.”

“Tyrants that have accepted a monk are not permitted to live,” Osran said flatly. It left in the air the question of whether the monks would have turned on Conrad had he accepted the guard. “Most that know the knife of justice might find them would never accept our assistance in the first place, this is why Ettrian is correct that that is a task we are but rarely called upon to perform.”

Ettrian ate in silence as he watched Roisin. Would she be thinking the same things he had, wondering about her father. Ettrian wondered if Conrad had kept his monk, would he have had to kill him. He suspected not. Though, that should ally him with the order at least over that, his hatred for the monks was still visceral, even though he had worked on controlling his face.

He cleared his throat. “As to the training, we must teach you to feel the gift inside you, and then you would learn to project it outside yourself. When I touch you, I can feel the core within you. It appears like you have just simply not been taught to touch it, but perhaps you have noticed things like you are lucky, sometimes you can do things others cannot or you cannot explain, little things.” He explained how untapped potential often manifested in children. Though she was older, an adult, she may have noticed these things as a youth.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was eating but her mind was on what Osran had said. If Conrad had agreed to a guard would they have one day killed him? Would they have been protecting him or the world at large? Was he here to protect her from would-be assassins or her own actions?

She put her fork and knife down. Her mind was now full of questions and thoughts. She wasn’t hungry.

From the shadow behind her Osran watched his charge carefully. He knew she was considering the implications of his words. He needed her to be thinking, questioning. She needed to be better than her father. That was why he was here. There was potential in her. She had two paths...follow her father’s or forge her own. He hoped she would make her own way so he could protect her and not the alternative. His concern was the elf. His presence caused a slight problem. It was true he would be best to teach her magic but there was bad blood between the order and the elf. Osran, himself had no quarrel with him though. He hoped a peace as the queen had ordered would be possible.

Roisin settled back in her seat, hands folded in her lap as she listened to Ettrian. She blushed, looking away to hide it as he said he felt it when he touched her. She knew he meant her hands but there was much that could be inferred from such a statement. She shook her head. “No, I have never noticed any such things. I am not particularly lucky. This place is odd but I have never noticed anything out of the ordinary.”

She got up and moved to candelabra. She began lighting the candles, casting the room into a soft light. She also went to a little box and opened it. She took out something small and slid it into her mouth. Roisin came back to the table.

“I am sorry, Ettrian. I have never noticed anything and my father said there was no magic in me. I do not know what you felt but I fear it may just be the hope of something.” She smiled sadly.

Osran was watching her. He moved over to the box and opened it.

“What do you think-”

“I am ensuring no one has tampered with your things. What is this?” He looked up. His eyes glanced to Ettrian. “You might want to look at this. It may help you.”

“What do you mean?” Roisin stood.

“I think this will help the elf with the mystery of why you do not have magic...or rather why it is not felt or noticed by you. Where did you get these?” Osran held the box out to Ettrian, bypassing Roisin.

“I get them from the kitchen. They make them for me. I have taken them my whole life. One in the morning and one after dinner. I do not know what they are. My mother had them make them to help my stomach. She told me when I was young that I had to take them or I could not keep anything down. It was to prevent me from growing sick and dying.” Roisin was confused. “It is refilled for me.”

Osran stated flatly. “You say your whole life?”

“Yes. My governess told me how they would give me drops as an infant after my mother would nurse me.”

Osran nodded and looked to Ettrian. He knew the elf would know the herbal compound and how it would, in the way they were dosing her, dampened her abilities, numb them and keep them suppressed. It was not a wise thing as once released there was no telling what would be unleashed. Of course, her mother likely had no idea she just simply wanted to spare her daughter from becoming her father's experiment.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian could tell that Roisin was thinking. She busied herself with lighting the candles. She grabbed something from a box and returned to the table having swallowed it. He furrowed his brow when he saw that. Could she be an addict? He knew some chewed leaves or took various herbal compounds to numb the world. Surely Roisin wasn’t like that.

However, that became a question that Osran seemed to share. His discovery peaked Ettrian’s interest. What had the man found. His hands came out of their sleaves and he reached for the box. Flipping back the lid he swore softly in elven. “Raellen what have you done.” He breathed. The purple of the compound clearly advertised the berries which were one of its main ingredients. It was one reason that the monk’s robes were that color. To symbolize they had no magic and stood outside that power structure. The berries mixed with other herbs could suppress magic. He lifted the box closer to his face and sniffed them, just to confirm. He did not dare taste one to be certain, but sight and smell told him what he was seeing. “Bitter?” He asked Osran. The other man nodded once, sharply, having clearly tasted one. The custom would be to lick a finger, touch one, and then lick the finger again. In this Ettrian would take Osran’s word.

Anger darkened Ettrian’s face and he took his right hand from the box, the left keeping the box out of Roisin’s reach. Turning his right hand over, palm up, there was a noise almost akin to a sizzle as a ball of fire manifested just above his palm. It whirled and crackled. Angry and spinning. It through flickers of yellow and blue across their faces.

Ettrian flipped his hand. Though he made the physical gesture, it was almost just done for theatrics, born of long habit. He could have just as easily compelled the fire with his mind. With a Howl the ball of fire shot from his right hand into the box. He watched as the fire consumed the little balls of purple. They blackened until they popped, acrid smoke filling the room. Ettrian’s control was such that he kept the fire from the wood of the box. He had no way to know if it was important to her, but the herbs needed destroyed, cleansed immediately. He knew this was impulsive. He should have studied, determined if he needed to when her off of them rather than cut her off so quickly. However, his anger was great enough at what Raellen had done he couldn’t stand to see the abomination continue any longer.

With an audible pop, the fire burnt itself out, and only then did Ettrian hand the box to Roisin. It was a startling display of his power, and the depths of his emotions. She probably had never heard him even utter her mother’s name since her death, let alone with a negative word.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin stood there as the men passed the box between them. They seemed to know what it was and were concerned...or not impressed.

Her shock was written all over her face as Ettrian spoke her mother’s name with a tone of frustration, annoyance...anger.

“What-”

She watched in horror as the elf set them on fire. She stared at him, lips parted as if she might yell but nothing came out. The smell filled the air between them. Her hands went up.

The box was placed in her hands.

“What do you think you are doing? You had no right.” The words were spoken low, almost dangerously so. Roisin took a deep breath in and out through her nose.

Osran reached out to take the box but Roisin was gripping it now, knuckles white. “You do not need them.”

“You do not know that.” Roisin hissed. “I do not know who the two of you think you are, or if you think my life is some game to you but this is unexceptable.” She looked at Osran. “You should not have touched it and you-” She looked at Ettrian. “You speak my mother’s name. How dare you. This is something I have been taking my whole life, you do not get to decide I do not need them and destroy them!” Now her voice raised. She closed the box. She held it tightly in an effort to stop herself from throwing it.

“It is not something you should be taking, my lady.” Osran said, bowing his head. “The compound is what is hiding your ability, your magic.”

“You lie.” Her breathing shuddered as she tried to keep herself from breaking down. “You did not even ask the kitchen what was in it. You speak like my mother was poisoning me. She would never do such a thing.”

Osran looked at Ettrian for help. He did not know her mother but given who her father was and the circumstances of her mother’s presence here he was not surprised. He had been told all about how Conrad had manipulated the woman to come here, to be with him when he was cast out. How this place had driven her slowly mad. He was not shocked to find out that she did not want her daughter to be used. He looked the woman over. The raven black hair, the strange eyes...it was best that Conrad never sunk his claws into the girl. Better he thought her devoid of magic and useless to him.

Roisin stared at Ettrian. “I hope for your sake you can explain your actions.”

Her reaction was less about anger and more about fear. She had been told for as long as she could remember that she needed to take them..the drops, the little tablets...to ensure she could digest her food. If she did not, she would die. It was described in detail how she would grow very ill, very weak and then death. She had been so terrified as a young child that she never once argued or forgot to take them. The idea that her body could do such a thing to her scared Roisin to her very core. She trembled now as she stared at the elf. "Explain why you have done this, why you have risked my life and hope they can make more quickly."

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian watched the exchange, he was still seething internally. As they spoke, he caught onto Osran’s train of thinking, and it was a wise one. Her mother was clearly seeking to protect her from her father’s clutches. That still did not make it right. How dare she deprive her daughter of her birthright.

He should have expected her anger. And yet it irritated him. She sought to threaten him for protecting him. “Lashing out in anger to cover up your fear is not becoming of a ruler.” Ettrian told her sharply. “Ignorance does not also excuse blind faith. Do you wish to continue like an angry child, or are you ready to listen to what we say? If you are as stubborn as your father, I will take my leave of you and leave you to your fate.”

Ettrian began to pace. The room could barely seem to control his emotion. The whole situation was close to exploding.

“You are supposed to be helping.” Osran snapped, clearly finding the elf’s ultimatum anything but.

“I did help,” he snarled back at the monk. “I destroyed the abomination. The berries of the shadow’s throat bush have been used to torture my people throughout history. There is no greater torture to an elf than to be cut off from the magic that unites us as a people. Even your order, draws its name and colors from that viol plant.”

“Yes, but you are an educator, not a child. Didn’t you just say that lashing out in anger to hide fear was not becoming?”

Ettrian stared. Had he seriously just used his words against him. “Sometimes anger is just that anger.” He snapped.

“Why be angry with her mother then, you’ve met her father, can you blame her for trying to protect her daughter, even if it meant making the terrible decision to hide her gift from her for her entire life, using frightening tales of painful death to insist on compliance. What would you have done?”

“Killed the bastard.”

“And the jury is out on if you did just that. However, that is not the point. Her mother did what she thought she had to in order to defend her daughter.”

Ettrian blew out a sigh. He didn’t like that the monk was right. “Even if you are right my entire soul cries out in horror for what has been taken from this beautiful young woman.”

“Then healer her, don’t chastise her.” Osran said matter of factly. Ettrian could only bow his head.

The elf approached Roisin and bowed his head. “My lady, forgive me. I have spoken in haste and not explained myself well enough. Can we sit down and I tell you the story of the shadow’s throat bushes, and what they do to magic?” There was no pretense in him. He truly seemed humbled, and more over as the anger had fled him, he seemed tired, as if a weight had landed on his shoulders.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was shaking with anger. She wanted him to explain himself. He chastised her and Roisin’s eyes went wide, her jaw clenched. How dare he? Who the hell did he think he was? She didn’t care that he had magic or a reputation that frightened pretty much everyone around here. In this moment he was just an elf, just a man who was treating her like a child, who thought he knew best for her, a grown woman. Her breath was forced out her nose.

Ettrian was pacing and Roisin opened her mouth, about to demand him to leave her sight and never return when Osran spoke up. She took in their exchange the way Osran lectured Ettrian, bringing down his ego a little.

What stuck with her though was the comment about her father. Her eyes were on Ettrian. Did he kill her father? Osran implied that was a possibility.

They kept talking, speaking as if she was not even there. Roisin’s emotions were at the surface and very volatile.

Ettrian came to her, bowed his head and asked for forgiveness. She shook her head. “No, no I have no desire to hear anything you say. I have no desire to be anywhere near you.” She swallowed, a knot in her throat. She willed herself not to cry. “How dare you speak to me as you have. I am not a child and as of today I am ruler here.”

“I believe Ettrian spoke out of anger, his emotions. It was not personal or an attack on you.” Osran said. “I have no love for him or he for my order, my queen but I can see that his reaction was not but his emotions talking. He is right, his is a race bound to magic it runs in their blood. He sees what was done as painful. I would ask you to hear him out.”

Roisin clenched her jaw, the muscles flexing. “I wish to speak to the kitchen first. I need to know that they can make more for the morning. I cannot be seen as sickly to those who live here. Then and only then will I listen. Depending on what I hear I will choose if I continue to take them. Not you, not anyone else.”

Osran inhaled slowly. “I will ask the kitchen but given what they were I think it will not be needed or perhaps we will have to have the dosage altered. I leave that to Ettrian’s knowledge. I only know what it does, not how it affects the rest of one's system.”

Roisin nodded curtly to him and Osran moved off to the door. He called to a servant.

She stared at Ettrian for a moment. Her mind was filled with a million questions, one of which was if he had killed her father or not..She did not speak, instead took a seat in a chair and gestured for him to do the same. “Say your peace.” Her tone was cold.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian’s emotions had caused this to all spin out of control so quickly. He had only let his passion rule his reason a handful of times in his life. He would have to consider long and hard to determine if this would be one of those times, necessitating he need to start counting on the other hand.

“You might rule but you cannot dictate to me,” he told her. “I am here because of Raellen’s memory, and because you are the best option to prevent a war. However, I cannot tolerate if you are going to persist in folly, if you refuse to listen to reason. If you wish to swim in ignorance, I will leave you to it. I have already done my best to serve one insane ruler of these lands I will not do it again. Yes, I behaved badly, but I did what I did because I saw you as being tortured and am outraged at the injustice done to you, even if she did it to protect you.”

He did not sit down in fact he headed for the exit. “It was a mistake to come here. I wish you all the luck in your rule.” He sounded tired, almost sad. He really had wanted to help her. Without another word he slipped through the door.

Osran stopped him in the hallway. “What.” Ettrian asked as the monk moved to block his path.

The monk held up his hands in peace, yet also blocking Ettrian’s path. “The kitchens cannot make more of the herb confection with any rapidity. It seems as if Conrad discovered what the berries were close to the end of death and feared them being used on him. It would take a scouting party weeks to go to where they grow and back. The queen needs to know what she will have to expect as a consequence of your action.”

Ettrian sighed. “Stomach discomfort. Not as severe as she described, but severe.”

“No, don’t tell me, you must tell her.”

“You can just as easily tell her my words. She does not wish my help.”

“Now she is stuck with your help, so you will help her or so help me, I will finish what Wilhelm started all those years ago.”

Ettrian backhanded him. “Don’t you ever speak that name to me.”

“What does it remind you too much of Lydira.”

If the name of Wilhelm had filled Ettrian with unthinkable rage, it was clear that this second name caused him unthinkable amounts of pain. He was so angry that he couldn’t even reach for magic. He found himself across the hallway his hands locked around Osran’s throat as he slammed the other man to the wall. “You aren’t even fit to breath the air that her name is uttered in. How dare you bring her up.”

“Will…” Osran coughed. “Will you walk away and risk letting Roisin Die? Just like you let Lydira Die? Just as you watched Raellen die.”

Ettrian let Osran go. It was like he had been struck. “I never.”

Osran wasn’t finished. “You were powerless to stop Conrad from strangling Raellen. Will you so easily abandon her daughter knowing that you have the power to save her. Because if withdrawal doesn’t kill her the awakening of her suppressed magic might. You have the power to affect this death and yet you are going to walk away. Go ahead. Do it.”

Ettrian didn’t know how Osran knew all he knew. It was conceivable he had known or read the reports of Wilhelm before he came to a land where Ettrian was known to inhabit. However how did he know how Raellen had died. A secret even Roisin didn’t know. It had been the last straw that had pushed him onto the path he was on. One that left Conrad dead and Roisin free.

Physically rattled, almost a completely different person, Ettrian stood. Osran lay a hand on his back, steering the gray robed mage back through Roisin’s door.

He led Ettrian to a chair and pushed the startled elf to sit.

“My queen, I don’t know if you caught any of that.” Osran said finally looking to Roisin. He had tried to keep his voice low but was now worried there were things that perhaps now was not the time to have Roisin learn of. “The kitchens cannot make more of the herbs. It would seem that your father had the bushes exterminated. It would take a party weeks to return with more. I have…” he paused, “Convinced Ettrian to stay and tell you what you will expect, and guide you through the changes you will now be forced to undergo.

Ettrian sat head bowed as Osran spoke. He seemed lost in his thoughts. It would not be obvious to an outsider, or at least to Roisin what had happened to the elf. Osran knew the pain he had caused him. Like a smith, he hoped he had just applied enough heat to temper the steal, not so much force as to break it. At first glance Ettrian seemed broken.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin watched as Ettrian left. She sighed and rested her head in her hand. Now what was she to do? He saw her as tortured. He was misguided. There was no injury to her, no indignation. Roisin was upset and angry and scared, though she would never admit to that.

So she watched him as the door closed. She would not beg him to stay.

For a moment there was nothing, she was alone with her thoughts but then there was a noise, as if something was hitting the wall and Roisin stood, creeping towards the door. As she passed the table she grabbed a knife, just in case.

She cracked the door a little and saw Ettrian with his hands on Osran’s throat, pinning him to the wall. She inhaled and waited, unsure what was going on. She knew there was no love between the two orders and thus the men but from what she could hear there was something far, far more personal too.

Roisin heard Osran say her name and her mother’s along with one other’s. She watched as Ettrian seemed to recoil as if Osran’s words were a blow.

Withdrawal, awakening...kill her… The words shocked Roisin. If they spoke the truth then she could easily die in the next few days...did she even have days? Her mind was a tangle of questions that none but the men in the hallway had answers to. She backed away from the door. Roisin put the knife back on the table and moved to the window. She felt cold, like all her blood had left her body.

She heard them return and slowly turned to look at them. Ettrian seemed very different than the man who had just left her rooms. She moved slowly to sit back down in a chair. Her back was straight, her hands folded in her lap but she was anything but relaxed.

“Weeks-” Roisin said softly. She was desperately trying not to shake or show her fear. She nodded slowly. “Thank you for asking him to return and thank you for returning.” Roisin looked at Ettrian. “I suppose this means that the effects of not taking it will be severe.. “

She let her words hang there between them as she looked at the elf who seemed almost a shell of himself now. She wondered if he would even be able to help her now. “What can I expect?”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian seemed lost within himself. He had steepled his fingers and bowed his head. He was seeking within himself, seeking the core of his being, rebuilding the shields, the mental blocks that Osran had so easily stripped away. He seemed to have tuned the others out for a moment.

Yet when he spoke, he suggested that he had heard. “Yes, withdrawal can be painful. With supervision it should not be fatal.” Here he shot a look at Osran. “Contrary to the hyperbole my colleague here wishes to spread.”

“I said she would most certainly die from withdrawal without your help. So, I see that not as hyperbolic, but as accurate.”

Ettrian could only nod. He returned his gaze to Roisin, dismissing the other. “There is a tea I can brew to sooth your stomach. I can also use my own magic to help the other side effects. There are non-magical remedies that can serve to relieve your symptoms as well. I of course will not presume to take care of those symptoms myself. You may select any you choose,” and here color came into his cheeks, before he seemed to control his emotions. “I will simply be here to provide you guidance on…approaches that may sooth the internal fires.”

“Your elves are so goddamn flowery.” Osran snapped. “Are you trying to say she will become overcome with sexual desire? Speak plainly elf.”

Ettrian opened his mouth as if to get drawn back into an argument with Osran and finally just nodded. “Blunt, but correct. I cannot know for sure how it will manifest for you Roisin specifically. Some get more of the stomach discomfort, most certainly others get that other side effect without the soothing tea, but a side effect of the tea is certainly desire.”

“Why?”

Elves believe strongly in the healing powers of desire. So, often medications that sooth pain induce more…positive emotions.”

“Arousal.” Osran said as if firmly insisting that the elf speak bluntly.

“Yes.” Their back and forth was no longer excluding Roisin, but Osran seemed to be push/guiding Ettrian to give Roisin facts.

“And if she does not take the tea?”

“I have never seen someone vomited blood.” Ettrian said softly. “I do not wish today to be the first day.”

“And you planned on just walking away from her after what you did/?”

“I was going to make the tea and send it to her with my recommendation.”

“Not good enough.”

“Clearly it was not enough my lady. I am here now and will do what I can to assist with this process.” Ettrian addressed Roisin himself rather than answering Osran. “My behavior is inexcusable. I never meant to cause you harm. I will be adding today as one of the fingers I count when I let my passion rule my reason.”

Ettrian didn’t see the face Osran made behind him, but the monk said nothing this time.

 

[SandS13]

Withdrawal. Painful. Death. The more they talked the more Roisin felt the cold move through her body. It felt like her blood was draining away through her feet.

She nodded slowly as he explained there was a tea she could drink to help her stomach and magic would help with other symptoms. She wanted to ask about the other effects but they kept talking and she couldn’t find her voice.

Roisin’s eyes widened as they talked about her feeling desire, arousal. She blushed profusely. She raised a hand as if she would interject but they kept talking. None of this comforted her.

“Vomiting blood?” She finally spoke up.

Roisin stood and began to pace. “So you are saying I will experience a great deal of discomfort in various ways. If I do not take the tea I will vomit blood at what? The least, the worst?” She looked at them both. “And if I take the tea you say I will feel a great deal of desire? I have never-”

She looked embarrassed. “I have never lain with anyone and never felt desire...never been aroused…” Her fingers ran through her hair. “Neither of you can leave tonight until I understand everything that might happen to me now that I have been forced to give up my-” She didn’t even know what to call the little tablets.

Roisin felt ill. She sat back down and put her head in hands. “I don’t understand. I mean...I sort of understand why she did it but why...was the plan for me to take them for the rest of my life?”

She looked up at Ettrian. “You will stay and help me with this?” She sounded young in that moment and as helpless as she has ever felt. She looked at Osran. “And you must stay, yes?” She needed reassurance.