In closing...

[Danandalive]

Help, I am struggling finishing my story! Well, everyone finished but I am stuck with how to separate my characters (cuckold in a hotel with the husband tied up). The sex was great but should I just end with the sex? I feel like I need to get the couple out of the room for closure but I can't mentally figure out how (plus in my mind all the interesting stuff is over). Should I add closure or just kill it after the sex?


I couldn’t help but laugh. I climb off her breasts, giving a little nipple pull as my hand slide over, and say “Let me get you a towel”. I am halfway to the bathroom when I hear “Wait.” I look back at Audrey, now raised on her elbows showing my the entire glory of her naked body. “That was the best sex I have ever had. Ever. But I am really tired now and need to go to sleep. As much as I would love to spend the night and play again in the morning we need to get home.” Audrey said to me, the most words either of us have uttered in the better part of two hours. While I figured she would be leaving I was still a little disappointed. The sex had been mind blowing, amazing, and I would have loved to have had another shot in the morning.
“Maybe next time you are in town, we can have a real threesome.”
The End (in need of improvement!!!)

 

[ElectricBlue]

I climb off her breasts...

What are you, a miniature mountaineer?

Have them do the seven mountains in seven continents thing .

 

[whowrotethisshit]

Kill 'em and leave.

If your story is done, it's done. Your readers won't finish the sex scene and think, "well beans, are they stuck in that motel room forever? HOW'D THEY GET OUT OF THERE? 1 STAR."

You don't have to start the story when they wake up and you don't have to end it with them physically leaving. You can leave 'em in the wet spot for all eternity.

 

[MichaelGH]

You should totally have them die. For no reason even. That'll make the readers real happy.

 

[Danandalive]

Thank you all - I will turn them into zombies. The end

 

[PennameWombat]

Help, I am struggling finishing my story! Well, everyone finished but I am stuck with how to separate my characters (cuckold in a hotel with the husband tied up). The sex was great but should I just end with the sex? I feel like I need to get the couple out of the room for closure but I can't mentally figure out how (plus in my mind all the interesting stuff is over). Should I add closure or just kill it after the sex?

<snip>

I'm the author who had a comment on my Halloween story that says "someone stole the last half of your story!!!" So probably don't listen to anything I suggest The comment is still up, I see no reason to remove it.

Well, no. I ended it where I'd planned to end it. A sequel could be written but it wouldn't be on Halloween. No, I didn't put a nice bow in every plot thread and there might still be some mysteries about a few characters. But that's life. Like my main character I've had evenings where people passed through and touched me (figuratively in this case) in some way but for Reasons Mysterious I never saw them again.

You could have ninja otter assassins smash into the room through the window and turn everyone into chutney.

Or just end it where you have. Seems a reasonable point to me, if your goal is to leave the readers wondering if your characters do meet again or not, IMHO.

 

[SimonDoom]

I think something along the lines of what you've done is appropriate. Don't bother with a concluding scene. End with the sex have someone say something, as you've done. It should reflect in some way on what's just happened, and also perhaps tease about the future, as you've already done.

By the way you need to clean up the tenses. In just the few sentences you've given you alternate between past and present tense. Choose one.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So, just who is in this hotel room? I'm a little confused by this...

"cuckold in a hotel with the husband tied up"

I assume the wife is there and her husband but, who else is there?

 

[Hypoxia]

Instead of a terminal, "The End", conclude with the cliffhanger-hint, "Next: The Attack of the Bolivian Dwarves".

 

[SynSlave]

Instead of a terminal, "The End", conclude with the cliffhanger-hint, "Next: The Attack of the Bolivian Dwarves".

I'm going to have to disagree... because Bavarian Dwarves has a better ring to it imo