I'm too good looking

[Dixon Carter Lee]

My agent just called me. I didn't book a commercial I auditioned for last week because "I'm too good looking."

That's not to say I'm a chisled dream (I'm not), but that the spot called for a schlubby looking dweeb, and despite the wrinkled clothes and unkempt hair I walked into the casting office with, I just wasn't schlubby enough.

The spot is for Nike drivers (golf clubs). You'll see them soon -- it's a whole campaign with two guys, one handsome all in black and one schlubby in grey and khaki. They're doing a whole series of them. And I didn't get it because I'm "too good looking." Woo-hoo.

Of course, I didn't ask why I wasn't sent out for the handsome guy in black in the first place -- some questions you just don't want to know the answers to...

 

[lavender]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

LOL Maybe.

I once recommended a woman I know for a cruise ship gig as a singer. She had a fabulous act. She was gorgeous and funny and had a lot of sassy original stuff.

Well, I sent her tape into Holland America, and they told me that she was, and I swear this is what they said, "Too good, and too attractive."

Their reasoning was that all the (older) women on the ship would hate her because she was young and beautiful and did sexy, talented numbers. What they wanted was some older woman in a long gown doing Cole Porter -- sedately and demurely.

God this is a stupid business.

 

[SimplySouthern]

**knocks Lavy out of this thread**

Look out! The hypocrites and/or hypocrite-example-seekers will be here in a minute.

And let me tell you, they are not a friendly bunch.


DCL -- That's why I shy away from you. Your good looks are too much for me to handle.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

LOL

Remember, I was too good looking to play "schlubby" -- which means I could still have a very attractive hump.

In my life I've been called everything from "cute" to "handsome", with most of the votes leaning towards "cute".

This is the first time I've ever been called "too good looking", and it's too damned funny.

 

[Mischka]

Now we're all going to watch those commercials knowing that some poor schmuck was told he's not good looking at all, and thus perfect for the part. What an ego deflator.

 

[JazzManJim]

but that the spot called for a schlubby looking dweeb

Schlubby-looking dweeb?? You should have found me, man! I'm there!!

Dammit...yet another promising career cut short before it began...

 

[lavender]

 

[SimplySouthern]

I think Simply Southern is attempting to censor me. Yes, I know my words might incite a riot. But, the fighting words doctrine hasn't been applied since......

Can you tell I have my First Amendment exam soon?

In NC inciting a riot is against the law.

You can be charged with misdemeanor or felony riot inciting.

Don't go down that path, Lavy. You have such a promising career ahead of you!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Now we're all going to watch those commercials knowing that some poor schmuck was told he's not good looking at all, and thus perfect for the part. What an ego deflator.

I know. But if you audition for commercials you have to let go of your ego reeeeeeaaaal fast. They cast "types", not talent. And if you ever want to know exactly what "type" you are, just start auditioning for comemrcials, and look at the other people who got sent out for the same role you did. Sometimes it's quite depressing.

I once walked into a casting office and saw that every guy there was about 20 years older than me, fat, and very goofy looking. I wondered, "Geez! What the hell does my agent think of me?"

After quickly checking a mirror to make sure I hadn't ballooned up to 250 pound in the last month I finally figured out that they were looking for "over the hill magician", and that the other guys were called in because they looked the part, and I was called in because I could actually do magic. (I ended up getting the part, and they re-wrote the character.)

But if you see a guy ina commercial being made fun of because he's fat or short -- well, that guys knows he's fat and short. He knows why he got the spot. It seems sad, but, believe me, a lot of these guys have come to terms with their appearance, and they're fine about it. In fact, a few of them love the fact that they're so castable as "types". They get a lot of work.

At this last audition there was another one of those "babe" calls in the next studio, so the place was full of schlubby guys in grey and hot women in slinky dresses and no underwear. Weird.

 

[login]

At this last audition there was another one of those "babe" calls in the next studio, so the place was full of schlubby guys in grey and hot women in slinky dresses and no underwear. Weird.

What's weird? I have that as a recurring dream. Gray, shlubby guys getting all the hot women! I could be the next Don Juan in that universe.

 

[kiwiwolf]

I never thought I would be thanking my lucky stars to be Hound Dog Ugly... my face can curdle milk at 50 paces. When I was born the doctor took one look at me, and slapped my mother!

DCL send me your agents addy... I would be a shoo in for the schlubby dude.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I found out why I got the call -- it's "magic" again.

Apparently in one of the spots the good looking guy and the schlubby guy have to eat some food, and they're going to play the film backwards to make it look like they're pulling the food out of their mouths.

So they called me in because I can do magic.

Even though they're going to do the trick with special effects, and they don't really need anyone who can do magic.

This is a stupid, stupid business.

 

[Siren]

DCL, I didnt know you did porn?

 

[JazzManJim]

But if you see a guy ina commercial being made fun of because he's fat or short -- well, that guys knows he's fat and short. He knows why he got the spot. It seems sad, but, believe me, a lot of these guys have come to terms with their appearance, and they're fine about it. In fact, a few of them love the fact that they're so castable as "types". They get a lot of work.

So what you're saying is...I could have been getting paid for folks to make fun of me, instead of having it done for free.

Shit...I could be rich by now!!

 

[kiwiwolf]

Back off Jazz Man... I'm first in line... LMAO

 

[JazzManJim]

Back off Jazz Man... I'm first in line... LMAO

Something tells me that there's plenty of work for both of us!

 

[kiwiwolf]

Right... you take the auditions on the left, and I'll get the ones on the right...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Isnt that just about every porn out there?

Speaking of schlubby guys in porn...I've been seriously thinking of slipping an anonymous note under Ron Jeremy's door with Literotica's web site address asking him to stop by, because I think it would be fascinating to have him on here as a posting member. Whaddayathink?

 

[kiwiwolf]

Speaking of schlubby guys in porn...I've been seriously thinking of slipping an anonymous note under Ron Jeremy's door with Literotica's web site address asking him to stop by, because I think it would be fascinating to have him on here as a posting member. Whaddayathink?

Hell yeah... bring on the Hedgehog...

 

[Siren]

I think all the pathetic jealous envious trolls here would have a field day

 

[kiwiwolf]

I reckon he could more than hold his own Siren. He has been a target for so long he must have developed a pretty thick skin by now. Also I have read a few interviews with the guy and seen one on TV. He seems to have a clue or two.

 

[Siren]

Daaamn it Kiwi, now you ruined it for me

 

[kiwiwolf]

Re: Daaamn it Kiwi, now you ruined it for me

I want him to PM me.

geeze.

PM... Is that Probe and Mate??? Damn, sorry Siren...

 

[Siren]

no kIWI WANKER