I'm that guy everyone hates and I hate it too.

[raindancer]

I assumed this would be an alt confession.

 

[surdeep]

I assumed this would be an alt confession.

It doesnt take much to hear at great length from the ones in loveless marriages, it seems.

 

[Plugh]

It sounds like you're getting to the point of doing something that will be traumatizing, or worse, to the woman/women you finally decide to act out on.

Before that happens I hope you take some action that eliminates the possibility of such a tragic and avoidable outcome.

There is a wide spectrum of options to choose from. Pick the one that matches the level of risk you pose to your unwitting victims.

You are painting yourself as some kind of victim, when in reality, you are the perpetrator. That is a very dangerous way of thinking, and is often used by people to justify their heinous actions.

Get a grip, get help, or get gone.

You're jumping to utterly unwarranted conclusions. Read it again. I'm neither victim nor perpetrator, as I said explicitly.

 

[Plugh]

Looks like the truth hurts.

Interesting to see how many people freak out at a simple confession. I'm hardly unique. In fact, I'd say I'm not only normal but commonplace.

 

[Lazaran]

You're jumping to utterly unwarranted conclusions. Read it again. I'm neither victim nor perpetrator, as I said explicitly.

Nah, I don't have to read it again.

Maybe you should go back and read it again, then ask yourself how the women you work with would feel if they knew the way you really think.

In my professional life I worked in a place that incarcerated guys who expressed similar thoughts before they ultimately acted on their urges without the women's consent.

If you don't recognize that your moving beyond the realm of healthy fantasy and into a dark and potentially dangerous place, that's a problem right there.

Even if you don't act on your impulses, it's still not healthy to be as obsessed as you appear to be.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Curious if any women here contacted you through PM. There probably are some here who want the exact same thing. You've stated what youve wanted -- sex and that's it -- but you'll have to talk a little bit with her about how and where you're gonna meet up.

 

[HisArpy]

It doesnt take much to hear at great length from the ones in loveless marriages, it seems.

Most people in such a situation can't contain it. I hear these kinds of stories all the time.


I think the loneliness is too difficult to keep in check and even a semi-sympathetic ear is better than no ear at all.


For the OP, this is a literary site, write your pain and submit it. Many have and found it to be cathartic.

 

[jomar]

Self-described nice guys aren't and married guys that hope to "earn" sex don't understand how sexual attraction works. The fact that your wife has no interest in you sexually does not necessarily mean she has no capacity for sexual attraction. There are psychological and biological factors that can lead to bed death in s relationship as a woman ages and those should be looked at and ruled out, but it is more likely to be a sign about relationship issues.

You got married for some reason, consider that. You had done sort of sexual compatibility in the past, and you have no idea what is out there for either of you which is why working on your marriage is worth a shot. Usually, there is plenty of non-secual areas that the two of you can begin working on.

If you are not willing or able to rekindle some sort of sexual component to your marriage, I'd call it a day. A sexless marriage is pointless. You can have every positive thing you currently have with each other without being married, and a dissolution gives an honest basis to seek out whatever you feel you need.

You probably need a shrink, not for the fantasizing about attractive women, but because you are disconnected in your needs for sexual fulfillment and validation from a need for meaningful human interaction. Sex doesn't have to mean some deep, spiritual connection but specifically want sex to be devoid of any depth means something.

Might be that you find it easier to rationalize that way, but it's worth looking at.

You put some thought into this. Nicely done.

As has been pointed out, emotional intimacy doesn’t require sex. And sex means different things to different people...so yes, maybe he should explore what it means to him.