Im pathetic...

[Kitte]

[WHINE]
Ok so Im pathetic I realize this...I am 30 years old and for the last 8 years I allowed myself to become financially dependant on my husband. Well now that it is over, I am finding it MUCH more difficult to get on my feet. I have until the 30th to move out of our home. I have yet to find a job and I have $55. My ex and I agreed that he would help me move out by letting me have a car and $3000.

He has since gotten himself into debt over a motorcycle and informed me he can not really help. So I am left looking for work soon to be carless and worst of all, I am leavin soon to go talk to my father. I swore I wouldnt ask him for money but I really have no options left. I need just a boost until I can get back on my feet. I feel so completely useless. [/WHINE]

So I can read them when I get back anyone else want to share their tales of woe?

 

[Scruffy]

Uhhhh, I had trouble deciding which pair of Underwear to wear today.

Eventually I chose the boxer briefs. Room enough for the boys, still sexually irresistible.

Damn I have an easy life.

 

[bored1]

The monetary impact of divorce sucks,Asking family members for assistance is normal, Do not get fooled into thinking your ex will help you. The reality is that once people split money becomes a BIG issue.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Give him a bill for services rendered and see an attorney.

 

[sabbathstorm]

I'm in shitty situation too, Kitte. School is over and I've got no income to speak of. I've been applying for jobs since before school ended and I haven't heard anything positive yet (I missed out on one completely). I've got a disconnect notice for power and had to call them and suck up so they wouldn't cut me off. $100 to my name this week and that's it. Bfriend can't find work and is waiting to complete tests for the military. That's all great but it can take two months for that to happen.

My family doesn't really have the money to help me out. Last resort is moving home, meaning I'll lose damn near everything anyway.

 

[Guest]

I agree

Anytime a relationship ends money becomes a hudge issue. No your not pathetic. I already won that award. See my post Advice??? I still cant shake her...

 

[Hamletmaschine]

. . . Asking family members for assistance is normal, Do not get fooled into thinking your ex will help you. The reality is that once people split money becomes a BIG issue.

I agree. Ask your family for financial help, not your ex. He may very well be a decent guy, for all I know, but if he's got the financial power in the relationship, he's going to use it to his advantage--and, no doubt, to your disadvantage. Asking him for help will only play into his little power trip.

My tale of woe? When my wife filed for divorce, I was making $500 a month as a graduate student, while she was pulling down about $35k per year as an accountant (this was back in the '80s). I couldn't afford an attorney, so she took EVERYTHING except the clothes in my closet and my books: the house, the cars, the furniture, my motorcycle--everything. Hell, I don't even have a photo of myself before age 25 anymore, because she kept 'em and burned 'em. I was too proud to ask my parents for help--long story there--and so I lived on oatmeal for a month until I could get a student loan.

And you want to know the kicker? Jesus was the one who told her to file for divorce. What a guy.

 

[juicylips]

Uhhhh, I had trouble deciding which pair of Underwear to wear today.

Eventually I chose the boxer briefs. Room enough for the boys, still sexually irresistible.

Damn I have an easy life.

You're all heart, S.

Have to agree with you about the boxers, though.

JL

 

[becca80]

i got fired from a fast food joint and my confidence has suffered ever since. Now THAT'S pathetic..

 

[Black_Bird]

And you want to know the kicker? Jesus was the one who told her to file for divorce. What a guy.

God Loves You; He just likes your ex-wife more...

 

[Hamletmaschine]

God Loves You; He just likes your ex-wife more...

Yeah, he's got a sick sense of humor, too, as Depeche Mode might say.

 

[alexandraaah]

Yeah, he's got a sick sense of humor, too, as Depeche Mode might say.

You don't want to start any blasphemous rumours..

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Nope, not me . . . but when I die, I expect to find him laughing.

 

[perks]

Nope, not me . . . but when I die, I expect to find him laughing.

so Youuuu're the punchline. I've always wondered.


Kitte,
It's going to be tough. We've all been there. You have to suck it up and do what you have to do to live. This is a time of change for you. It's stressful and horrid, but once you go through it, and the grief, you'll be tougher and stronger and you'll be proud of yourself. There is nothing wrong for asking for help when you're going to be putting in the time and effort and hard work to get yourself back on track.
We'll be here for you, or I will be, if you need to talk.

 

[J.B.]

Kittie hun, I'm sorry you have to go through this. I saw this happen with my mom. Same deal they were together for 10 years she'd stoppped working to take care of my baby sis. then she was stuck holding the bill for all of us. It's hard I know I saw her struggle through a lot of crap, but you can do it. Calling yourself pathetic is not productive & at this point if it's not productive or possitive you don't need it. Well, you never need it, but espeially not now. Like it's been posted earlier call a lawyer, bleed him of every penny.
Good luck hun.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Kitte, sweetie, you've read my thread, but sunshine is peeking through those clouds..

As for your dilemma.. I agree. . go to your family. I know a little about your family, but in the end they're both your greatest enemies and your greatest allies. In this situation, you've got to hope for the best. My ex just recently lost his job and got evicted from his house (cus his lease ended and they want to rebuild the house for a rich person who bought the property). All he has left is his car, which he has to sell (it's a 2002 firebird formula). That'll give him some money, but he's gone to live with his mother and brother again. IT was a huge test of humbleness, and he hates humble pie. But he did it. That was the last I heard of him. At least he's got shelter and food.

Hope for the best, love.

 

[pipercatt]

Kitte, hon...I hear ya. And I am almost in the same situation you are. if you even wanna whine at someone, I'll listen.

 

[JazzManJim]

i got fired from a fast food joint and my confidence has suffered ever since. Now THAT'S pathetic..

Virtually everyone I know has either gotten fired form, or walked away from, a fast-food job. Don't sweat it.

Kitte, just hang in there and lean on your family for a bit. They can help, believe me. It might suck to begin with, but in the end, strange as it may sound, it brings you closer to them, and vice versa.

 

[JLatino]

if it helps...you don't look don't look a day over 22yrs old.

i thought you were younger than me!

 

[lisalove]

No Kitte you are not pathetic or useless. I feel like crying after reading your thread. ((big hug to you)).

Life is fucking hard sometimes, but when one door closes another one opens. Do whatever you can to help yourself get on your feet again (even if that means going to your family for help), and rise rise above it...

take care

 

[Kitte]

In short..thanks everyone. I t was not as painful as I thought. Dad was very supportive emotionally and has agreed to help me take over my car payments and he is givng me a couple months rent just to get a foundation that I can build on.

I am actually able to see through the mire a little and I am looking forward to finally being on my own. Having a space to call my own.

So I can see the mountain through the clouds and I am ready to start climbing.

 

[sacremento]

I'm glad it worked out well for you. It's good to have a supportive family in the tough times.

I'm in the same boat as you, getting divorced and I hadn't worked for the last 6 years.

I never paid a bill or even saw them come to the house, he took care of everything. Guilty because I liked it that way.

But life goes on, I got a job and we will be allright. Change is hard but not impossible. I know I can take care of my family, I'm learning how everyday.

Good luck to you

 

[Laurel]

i got fired from a fast food joint and my confidence has suffered ever since. Now THAT'S pathetic..

No it isn't. I got fired from my very first job at a chain drugstore. It was the lowest-level, menial job in the place, and I thought I had to be the world's biggest retard to be fired from such a boner position...but the reason I was fired was that my cash drawer was always off. I had (and still have) trouble giving accurate change in a rush. I'm not a stupid person, but I AM stupid in that area. I went on to do many other cool things, including running a small business & having cool career. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and successful person, even though I suck at counting. heh.

No one can be everything. Having weaknesses doesn't make you lame or pathetic - it just makes you human. The key to success is knowing your weaknesses (NOT dwelling on them - just being aware of what they are) and making your strengths work for you.