I'm Lonely >< But I'm Picky! ><

[Chicklet]

I'm starting to think I'm a cold-hearted picky bitch!

I have high standards for someone to catch my eye... I like guys my own age, which is to say, not ten years my senior. I like dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos, piercings, and black. Men in khakis don't do it for me, and if I have one naked and he's completely unadorned, it's just not as exciting for me.

I'm also a shitty flirt. I can't flirt to save my life. I just don't know how to do it! Too many years in a single relationship, I think. I settled down and didn't think I NEEDED to flirt!

This is a rant, if you haven't figured that out yet. Just a FYI, even though you're already reading.

I don't know why I have such a hard time meeting people in real life. I think it's because I have such irritating social issues. I hate crowds, I hate new places, I hate strangers. Actually, I hate people in general... there are some individuals I can stand but as a whole, I think people are idiots. When I go out, I go with one or two close friends, and I pay a lot of attention to them instead of the strangers in the room/restaurant/bar.

I'm angry this morning because I'm alone. It's been *counts on fingers* Six months since my ex dumped me, and I still think about him just about every minute of the day. I was distracted for all of a month but didn't get good sex, kink, or company out of it. That's a lie, the company was great, just, I'm too picky and he didn't fit all my standards.

Every time I get a response to a personal ad I have this discrimination against the guy that responds before I even read it, 'cause obviously they're an idiot if they'd think of messaging me.

Bah.

Life sucks.

 

[shy slave]

Ummm have you seen retrivals ad?

He could be the Dom for you.....

Hey, stop glaring at me!!

I was only trying to help

 

[Chicklet]

Actually, I saw it when he posted it,. It more or less made me hate people even more... sort of inspired this rage towards men: "TAKE MY KINK SERIOUSLY, FUCKER"

 

[trisquel_astur]

Well, let's go easy...

I'm starting to think I'm a cold-hearted picky bitch!

Maybe, but... who cares?

I have high standards for someone to catch my eye... I like guys my own age, which is to say, not ten years my senior. I like dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos, piercings, and black. Men in khakis don't do it for me, and if I have one naked and he's completely unadorned, it's just not as exciting for me.

Well, you have your own tastes, so why you regret about?
Hair and eyes colour, tatoos, piercings and so on are a personal election, but more important is the way of think. Choose the Man, not the body and you will bve more near of what you wanna. Adornes can be a flogger, a collar or a piece of silk to tie you

I'm also a shitty flirt. I can't flirt to save my life. I just don't know how to do it! Too many years in a single relationship, I think. I settled down and didn't think I NEEDED to flirt!

Of course, after a broken long relationship, flirt is a hard job, but for men are 100 times more hard!
I still never meet a woman (a real woman) who needs to flirt, so let yourself go easy... and with so nice face (and long thonge ) you will have a lot of men flying around you!

This is a rant, if you haven't figured that out yet. Just a FYI, even though you're already reading.

Here we are all friends (or kind of) and we will not be angry with you for it. You can ask for some time to talk, advices, or whatever you need in a given moment!

I don't know why I have such a hard time meeting people in real life. I think it's because I have such irritating social issues. I hate crowds, I hate new places, I hate strangers. Actually, I hate people in general... there are some individuals I can stand but as a whole, I think people are idiots. When I go out, I go with one or two close friends, and I pay a lot of attention to them instead of the strangers in the room/restaurant/bar.

You need a Dom and give Him all this attention. And like athetes after injures... try with the pole more down...

I'm angry this morning because I'm alone. It's been *counts on fingers* Six months since my ex dumped me, and I still think about him just about every minute of the day. I was distracted for all of a month but didn't get good sex, kink, or company out of it. That's a lie, the company was great, just, I'm too picky and he didn't fit all my standards.

I'd passed some similar after divorce...
Well, let time pass, it will help. World is full of nice people and here (and around your place) you will find someone. But... (always a but...) don't try to make your standards a fixed model, you should accept others and accept yourself. Life is hard enough for make it still harder putting corsets to out "standards".

Every time I get a response to a personal ad I have this discrimination against the guy that responds before I even read it, 'cause obviously they're an idiot if they'd think of messaging me.

Well, even idiots have the right to talk with a nice girl (or a nice witch, as you like! )

Bah.

Life sucks.

Yep, sometimes, but most of the times... smells like a prairie after the spring rain...

Frankly dear, there are a lot of people who can love a girl like you!

{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[trisquel_astur]

Would it help any to know your list of qualifiers are actually more realistic and obtainable than my list of qualifiers?

(The sad thing is that the above statement is somewhat true. LOL)

Like Bruce Lee told...

Be water my friend!

 

[WriterDom]

Maybe you're too picky. I'm almost twice your age, 3000 miles away, no tats or metal objects, hate black, my dark hair has turned grey.

But I do have dark eyes.

 

[Auraka6669]

Just chill. I was looking for something for a long time.... nearly a year, before I, for all intents, gave up. And wouldn't you know it, she pops right into my lap. On a silver platter no less.

I thought of everyone I met with the same closed mindedness that makes me an asshole. You're smart til (shortly after meeting you) proven stupid. Then stupid til you can prove you're smart.

Just be yourself, if you aren't you'll end up with something you don't want. :-/

 

[Netzach]

Get over your hatred of people, even stupid ones. Force yourself to be interested in them. They can be interesting. Note the mistakes of stupid ones so you can avoid them.

Find friends, hang with them. Let them drag you out. Make new ones - friends have friends. And eventually, when you're not even interested any more, when you've decided, you know, this being alone thing is kind of fun, because I am infinitely good company - someone will come along and screw up your little alone time equilibrium who is right.

If someone had asked me "would you like a mildly OCD Keanu Reeves knockoff who likes to dress in drag, enjoys older men but wants to settle down with a girl, and really loves to be tied up?" I would have been totally elated. Sign me up. I found that person because I went to a munch I normally hate to go to and wound up having a good time. People having a good time are attractive.

 

[liberatedslave]

Sounds like you do need to widen your circle of friends a little. Personals ads always feel tacky but if you want to find someone kinky it's a better bet than your local bar and at least you know they can spell. Remember that those who reply are looking for kink in their lovelife just like you are. You do have to filter the assholes, psychos and HNG but there will be a few left over. A local munch or one you don't normally go to is also a good idea. Don't go mad hunting but don't shy away from opportunity.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... I like dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos, piercings, and black. Men in khakis don't do it for me, and if I have one naked and he's completely unadorned, it's just not as exciting for me.

*PERKS*

You rang?

Oh, wait... Damn... I'm too old. And does red hair count as "dark"?

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Would it help any to know your list of qualifiers are actually more realistic and obtainable than my list of qualifiers?

(The sad thing is that the above statement is somewhat true. LOL)

And what are your qualifiers, Ms. Mouse? *waggles his eyebrows*

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[shy slave]

Actually, I saw it when he posted it,. It more or less made me hate people even more... sort of inspired this rage towards men: "TAKE MY KINK SERIOUSLY, FUCKER"

*Backs away from the angry Chicklet*

Easy now, easy.....


*runs for the door*

 

[Yang4yin]

Hey - you could be over 50!

 

[Marquis]

You're a good looking broad, just take a walk in public every once in a while and you'll have no shortage of suitors.

The problem is, the one you're looking for isn't going to be "your ex-boyfriend, only better". He's going to be a totally unique person and if you keep looking for your ex-boyfriend you'll never find him.

 

[ammre]

I'm starting to think I'm a cold-hearted picky bitch!

I have high standards for someone to catch my eye... I like guys my own age, which is to say, not ten years my senior. I like dark hair, dark eyes, tattoos, piercings, and black. Men in khakis don't do it for me, and if I have one naked and he's completely unadorned, it's just not as exciting for me.

I'm also a shitty flirt. I can't flirt to save my life. I just don't know how to do it! Too many years in a single relationship, I think. I settled down and didn't think I NEEDED to flirt!

...

Every time I get a response to a personal ad I have this discrimination against the guy that responds before I even read it, 'cause obviously they're an idiot if they'd think of messaging me.

Bah.

Life sucks.

AMEN SISTAH'

 

[Andante]

You're a good looking broad

Not my choice of wording, exactly, but I totally agree on the meaning. Now, this pretty and obviously very smart girl has already made it clear that her age +10 is NOT interesting, so this old man is not gonna say more...

The problem is, the one you're looking for isn't going to be "your ex-boyfriend, only better". He's going to be a totally unique person and if you keep looking for your ex-boyfriend you'll never find him.

You said it so very well, Marquis. People of all sorts, genders and age seems to miss that bit too often.
A small example: We met on ALT, but that was a bit of a fluke. I was outside her "match settings", so she would never have looked me up in the first place (she wasn't just looking for old men, but for REALLY old, semi-dead farts. Also, I probably wasn't fat enough for her ). I did see her profile, but because of the lack of a picture (What...? ... men are visual creatures, you know... ) I put it in my "somewhat interesting, will look later"-list. It was only because she decided to view the profiles of those who had viewed hers, that she ended up sending me a firm instruction to get my fat ass to London (.... or something like that).

 

[bareman]

words from an old guy

Chicklet--

As a guy well out of the criteria of "someone who interests you", this advice (for what it's worth) is strictly intellectual, and not some sort of come-on.

I've heard it said that your disappointments will be in direct proportion to your expectations. This is not to say that if you lower your standards you won't be disappointed, but (in my mind anyway) if you have hard and fast rules or criteria, you will narrow your possibilities and may thus miss the dream guy for you.

We all have things we look for, but just because he doesn't have tats or piercings shouldn't disqualify him. Maybe HIS ex couldn't stand them and talked him out of getting them, or he let his piercings heal shut for the same reason?

All I'm saying is don't judge a book by it's cover...there's all kinds of cool shit on some of those pages.

Just my 2 cents' worth...

 

[DVS]

Chicklet, I must say, that is a VERY nice tongue. If that ain't flirting, I don't know what is. But, many people have a problem of looking for that cookie cutter personality. But, looking for a prince charming type or maybe a prince of darkness type can be a problem. Take me, for instance. I have a very kinky side, but I don't always let it show. What shows is a man over 50 who is also going bald.

I don't act over 50, because I enjoy life. I know people in their 40s who seem much older than me. I'm told I don't look my age, but the fact is, I am over 50. Actually, I'm very close to yet another one of those damn birthdays.

I know I've been rejected for my age, probably for baldness, and even for being pompous. But, none of these rejections have been because they got to know me and didn't like me.

Perfection is an evil word. It's evil because nobody is perfect. If we were all perfect, this would be a very dull world. Don't look for someone who fits your perfect partner. Sure, you are entitled to what you want, but think of how many men are out there that fit what you want, physically. And, then, how many of those few will have a personality that fits, too?

If someone mentions they like you, don't blow them off, because they don't fit that mold you have in mind. First, look for a personality you like. With some luck, you will be with this person for a long time Looks are secondary. Good looks will never trump a bad personality for very long.

OK, if you are just looking for sex, good looks are primary. But, for longevity, a good personality is key. And, if you find someone with the personality that fits, tats and piercings can always come, later.

Probably all you'd have to do is ask him. If he really likes you, don't you think he might enjoy pleasing you? Just smile sweetly, show him that tongue, and see if he doesn't say yes.

EDITED to add...and I've always seen a true redhead as hot and passionate.

 

[Netzach]

AMEN SISTAH'

obviously they're an idiot if they'd think of messaging you?

Girls, girls girls....(sigh)

 

[tzigane]

This is pretty much how I felt about two years ago. I had given up on a serious relationship with a guy because most of them just wanted to screw me and those who wanted to date me tended to end up losing their minds; the girls who expressed interest in me were craaaaazy and I knew it. I figured my standards were too high (funny, as far as guys go they're similar to yours except I like green eyes), and despite objectively knowing I'm a good catch, subjectively I have serious self-esteem issues.
And then I met this guy at a party my best friend had dragged me to. She was pretty much ignoring me for her new boyfriend, and everybody else there was an idiot. Except the one guy, who I spent the entire night talking to about tattoos and travel and our equally ambitious future plans.
After that evening, he decided that I was the girl for him. I disagreed. He didn't quite meet my standards; I tend to prefer thinly muscular men and he's a bit of the former football player type (read: weighs twice as much as me). I also didn't think that any guy that charismatic could actually be interested in me, and misread him as rather vanilla. So I spent the next four months trying as hard as I could not to date him. He wouldn't let up. Finally I decided to actually try scaring him away, and told him everything I had refrained from telling my exes in the past in order to make him run screaming.
His response? "Yes, and? That's not scary."
So I gave him a chance. It was the best damn thing I ever did in my life, and it continues to be.
The moral of the story: don't let your physical standards keep you from giving someone a chance, and don't let your assumption that most people are idiots (I agree) allow you to misread someone and miss who they actually are. Sometimes you have to give up on looking for something good to find you.

 

[tzigane]

Oh, and I agree with Marquis and Andante.

Though I wouldn't use the phrase "good-looking broad," you are indeed quite the attractive woman.

 

[Chicklet]

Get over your hatred of people, even stupid ones. Force yourself to be interested in them. They can be interesting. Note the mistakes of stupid ones so you can avoid them.

I've really been trying to do this. I think the problem is that even if I don't think someone's a moron, my mannerisms are such that people think I'm an uptight 'see you next tuesday...'

I don't know why I have so many issues with people >< I can't read them, I can't interact with them well, I don't think I even know how to flirt. My boss says I'm nuts, of course I know how to flirt, but really I have a hard, hard time opening up to someone that I don't know well. By that I mean, I have never been able to open up to someone I don't know well.

You're a good looking broad, just take a walk in public every once in a while and you'll have no shortage of suitors.

LOL! Thanks.

The problem is, the one you're looking for isn't going to be "your ex-boyfriend, only better". He's going to be a totally unique person and if you keep looking for your ex-boyfriend you'll never find him.

This is very, very true. And I'm really trying to keep that high in my mind. It doesn't mean I don't just want to run back to my ex though = (

Not my choice of wording, exactly, but I totally agree on the meaning. Now, this pretty and obviously very smart girl has already made it clear that her age +10 is NOT interesting, so this old man is not gonna say more...

now now... I know people 10+ yrs older than me are perfectly interesting, and some day I'll be that age and dating people that age, but right now I'm honestly just not physically attracted to people much older than I am. It's not like I have this specific line that once a man has crossed to such and such an age he is no longer attractive, but my tastes haven't matured like that yet. Is that so terrible?