I'm hurting.

Annabelllee2003

Mi può aiutare?
Joined
Jan 23, 2003
Posts
5,746
I'm an Alanon kinda gal.

I'm at the end of my rope. I'm at the end of my Mother.

I've been and done all I can.

I've given all I can give.

She hates me now.

I've done everything to help.

She is a drunk and I hate her.
 
Leave me alone - I won't come here again for a good 4 or 5 months.

that is easy/.

I've had wonderful people that I have written with that I would like to continue with. God strike me dead for that sentance. But really.... I have it, and I daresay I am a good form of writer... I will be here for you.

I must.
 
Sorry...

I am truly sorry you are going through that. I have a good bit of experience with that myself. It hurts when a parent, someone that you're supposed to look up to, falls so far and doesn't seem to hit bottom ever. Hang in there. As hard as it is to believe sometimes... not all people are bad people. Shoot me a message if you ever want someone to talk to.
 
Same here

Hi,
Had a simlar experience with a brother. NOT the same as a parent, I know...but maybe a basis if you need another set of ears, or a shoulder, or an opinion...
Will do what I can!
 
hurt (multidimensional)

Ms. Lee (if you will)
Thank you for the Poe evocation; it brought me to view your post with interest. What brought response however, 'was' your writing which was wonderful stuff indeed ... but certainly not the point of this reply. I'll gloss over nothing else lightly save to say it was nice to encounter an apt mind in the loose keyboard ramblings of an otherwise insignificant evening.

Now good lady, I am presumably much older than you; enough that you can perhaps consider this kindly advice with no alterior motive. You need know here that I summarily damn the internet for being so contradictarory: simultaneously ... of much interest and yet ... everso dangerous. Please 'do' rest assured that you'll not be contacted again.

Re: Alanon ... am largely from this myself tho' too young to join when dad essentially drunk himself to quite early grave. While I might have missed many of the particulars of the experience and the long-term understanding offered I'll nevertheless provide a personal perspective here:

It's all really rites-of-passage. Ultimately, one simply cannot be totally (and probably not even partially) responsible for the direction of another life ... be they acquaintance, friend, relative, closest RNA/DNA match. We may wish it otherwise and long for this to be so but simply ... it cannot. My perception here is that you're quite bright lady at wits' end because your innate intelligence cannot 'sway' the tide of events. Were you of lesser ken it would be quite easier overall and one-liners and rapid assessment of circumstance would issue easily followed edicts which would not solve but would at least provide day-to-day rationale which would actually work. Unfortunately Anna-Belle (if I may) you seem to not be made like this particular stuff.

Rites-of-passage II: there are singular things which occur in our lives which CANNOT be mitigated. If lucky, they involve the quite unfair ramblings of a world bent on turmoil or the political excess of a given administration, or minutely ... things left undone in a personal vein. If unlucky, they involve the inability to change things disturbing/unconscionable, 24/7 with someone quite close. This strikes me ... the uninformed, with no personal knowledge of the exact situation here Anabellle, as ultimately fruitless endeavor. You may well bludgeon your head against this wall until bloodied (suspect you're already there); concave (suspect you're already there); brainless (not there yet Ms.!) with no reasonable hope of successful favored/envisioned outcome. IMO this is ultimately urinating in a No'Easter.

Rites-of-passage III: equates really to accept things we can individually do nothing about. I 'do' wish you to get there sometime. Worst scenario here of course, is dearest mum succumbs to or is severely maimed by abuse well before her time. Acceptance of this I'd think is already in your psyche. What might not be Annabellle is the slightest semblance of comfort with this scenario. I can only prod here; the rest you need do by yourself.

Good lady, I sincerely wish that you not flagellate yourself overmuch for decades to come if the results of your concern are ultimately, unsuccessful. I wish you the very best in this personal endeavor. Again here ... you've a distinct personality involved which is largely, despite all the ties you resurrect, outside your ability to control, If she chooses to accede it will really, finally ... be 'her' decision.

Annabellle ... best here. I mean only to mitigate your pain and get you to "Rites-of-passage IV which really is ... acceptance.

So sorry if I've intruded; moreso if this at all seems preaching.

C.
 
You Will Make It

Sweetheart,
Everything will be ok - you are already taking the first steps of saying what you are feeling. You are entitled to that because it is how you feel. One impulse people have is to withdraw. On here and with people you hold dear and can be with in person will help. Keep taking the next step and know lots of people are thinking of you!
 
I am so sorry you are hurting this way. I have not personally experienced something to the extent that you have. I do however have a cousin, who at least for the time being, is sober and getting some help. She is a recovering alcoholic, that is also manic/depressive and bi polar. There have been times that she did not even care about what happened to her kids. My aunt has legal guardianship of them. My cousin is not able to take care of herself or her kids. She is living in some sort of half way house right now and seems to be doing pretty well. But I have seen the hurt and the problems caused by her when she did not want to be helped. She has also had a drug problem. I just hope and pray that she and your mother will get the necessary help to stay clean. I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers and hope for nothing but the best for you. I know how hard it is, but sometimes tough love is the answer. Whatever it takes I hope that you can come out of this situation without too many scars and that you can be happy. I am here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or just a friend to talk to.
 
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