I'm frustrated and here's my venting

[desired_tempest]

I don't have anywhere else to put this. I can't even put it on my myspace or facebook pages because my friend will see it so here it is.
I don't understand my friend Chey. She has a fiancee, their gonna get married in June or July, but she flirts with other guys. She says she loves him and doesn't want anyone but him. Then WHY FUCKING FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS??? Seriously. Especially when it's a guy I like and she fucking knows it. I've told her this and she knows it and everything else, but she still fuckin does it. She thinks it's cute and tells me about things they talk about. Timmy use to turn to me with those things. After she started sending him pics and texts I don't get it anymore. I know NOTHING about him anymore. I'm mad with him and her. We're supposed to hang out tonight and she wants to wear this red lacy top thing with a zipper right down the front and a skirt. A few days ago she sent him pictures. They weren't naked, but they were teasing pictures. I've seen these pictures, I fuckin have these pictures. I didn't know she was sending them to him too. So I asked her, do you like Timmy? She said yes, but I love Aaron. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? If you truely truely love someone you have no interest in anyone else. That's what I think. I want to tell all of this to her, but then she won't want to go tonight and I don't wanna ruin her fun. All I gotta say is I fuckin hope he makes a move on her and she does it. It'll ruin her relationship. Her fiancee doesn't know she sent those pics to Timmy. He told her it was fine if she went tonight. But if he knew about those pictures he wouldn't be happy with her going at all.
Why? Why does she fucking do this? She knows I like him. She knows everything about me. But she disregards it and does what she fucking wants.

I feel like a lil kid throwing a temper tantrum, but I have no where else to put this and I can't keep it in me. I need advise.

 

[lorddragonwolf]

she may be trying to see if she can still turn guys on besides her fiance. but she may be trying to compete with you as well. tell her how you feel about this guy.

 

[MICH69AGIE]

Don't accuse her of things, just tell her how you feel. Either she's not such a good friend, or she's trying to make some sort of point. Either way you both need to deal with it.

Tell her how you are feeling. You feel hurt. You feel jealous. You feel sad thinking she will ruin her relationship or marriage when her fiance finds out. You feel lonely because you have lost the relationship you once had with Tim.

That should get the conversation going and hopefully get your friend to take ownership for her actions and give some sort of explanation.

Good luck.

Yea that!

 

[desired_tempest]

Thank you for the advice. I talked to her last night while we were driving over there. I knew there was something more going on that what she was telling me and I was right. When we got to Fulton we waited about an hour. Timmy didn't give us directions so we had no idea where to go and he wasn't answering his phone or anything so we said fuck it and went to a country club. It was so much fun. I got tipsy there and had an awesome time. On the way to the club she told me he said he wanted to be with her. He said he could treat her right and everything like that so she was getting confused. Later on I told her that Timmy is only telling her what she wants to hear because he was saying the same shit to me. Then we both sat there and talked about what an ass he was. I'm done with Timmy. Liking him is stupid. He doesn't care about anyone and I mean anyone. He kicked out his babies mamma and kids about a week ago. Anyways, we figured it out. It's all good. We both agreed not to message or call him and we aren't hanging out with him next weekend if he asks either. Instead we are going back to the club we went to.

 

[desired_tempest]

I'm so glad you sorted it out. I knew there was more to the story. Definately distance yourself from this guy. He's just looking for a new fuck. You can do better than him.

Thank you. I think I was attracted to how raw he is

 

[desired_tempest]

I went out with Chey and her bf/fiance/whatever Saturday, a week ago. Aaron was away for two weeks or so on vacation and Chey was miserable. Well Saturday night we went to a country club so we could hang out and dance and act stupid like we always do. About three hours into the night I was tipsy, not drunk, and Chey was upset. Aaron hadn't asked her to dance. Instead of asking him to dance she sat and pouted. She told him she hated him at that moment. She didn't mean it, but that's childish. If you want something you ask for it. Anyway, I was tired and I was coming off my tipsyness and I was tired of her kiddy bullshit. I stayed for about another hour and she still was acting that way so I just left. I didn't tell her or anyone else, just left. I drove home. She texted me the next day and said that was bullshit, so I told her the reason I left. Told her I'm tired of seeing couples fight over stupid shit. It was stupid. I mean really, you're gonna throw a fit over not being asked to dance? The day after that I texted her and asked if she was still mad, she said yes, but I have other problems to deal with. So now I have become a problem in her life. We haven't talked all week. I've been wanting to text her, but I'm under the impression she hates me. I really didn't see the problem of leaving her alone with her fiancee and other people she knew, but she did. Anyways, she messaged me today on a website we are on. Thought I'd post it here because I'm venting.

Chey March 5 at 11:43am
K idk what to say to u. I was really hurt when u did tht cuz u were drinking. It pissed me off too cuz u told me NOT to leave u but u left me & without telling anyone. The whole think about couples fighting over stupid things well tht is what couples do. Im srry if u dnt like it then well dnt talk to me or anything. Shit like tht happens. I mean like i said i dnt know where to start how to talk to u again. I think i seen the real u and u didnt really care how i felt. Thts fine, it can work both ways.

Vanessa March 5 at 12:10pm
I know I just texted you and it was rude, but I can't believe you just said that to me. I would hang out with you and drink and get high, I'd drive then too but you didn't have a problem with it then. And I didn't tell you not to leave me that night. I haven't said that to you in awhile. I didn't even really realize I was leaving until I was already driving. I was thinking about it and I just did it. I was going to turn around, but I didn't. After all the shit you have done, fooling around with Nikki, hooking up with other guys, after you told me you would be with me, I forgave you. Every time. Do you know how much that hurt? When you were with a new guy you'd say o I won't leave you and if I did it'd be for Nessa. But you never did that. You went to the next guy. It hurt me so bad. I wouldn't ever do that to you. I never once said to you if I leave this guy I with I'm going to be with you. I was like your fucking matchmaker. Hooked you up with Brian, John and almost Adam. O and almost Timmy. I can't really believe you considered leaving Aaron for him. For you to do that to me and Aaron, wow. I told you how much I liked Timmy, told you how I felt and you were sitting there thinking about what it would be like to be his woman. I can't say I wouldn't do that to you because I fucked Joey. It wouldn't happen again.
I am not that person that just left the other night. I do care about you. I do care how you feel. I do care what goes on in your life. I never once considered you a problem in my life. I cherish your friendship. I don't like what's happened. Fucking miserable. I've been wanting to text you all fucking week and I keep thinking you hate me now. That hurts me. Everytime I saw something funny I wanted to text you. What I did was stupid. I should have told someone I was leaving, but I didn't really know anyone but you and Aaron and you two were talking I think. You had Aaron there with you and other people you knew. I didn't think it'd be a big issue.
If you don't believe what I say then I don't think you ever knew me.
And I'm not saying any of this in a hostile manner. I'm waving a white flag of truce.
----
I am a good friend. I love fiercly. I would give my life for those I love if they needed it. I don't have many friends because I don't see the point in having hundreds and know so little about them. I would rather have a few and know them so well. I don't lie, I don't bullshit, I don't play games. I tell it how it is even if it hurts. I'm tired of always being lied to and treated like shit. When I come across people that give me respect and dont play games I love them for it. It's easier to hide behind a wall and pretend, but it's so much harder to be real. That's what I am. Takes some time to get use to for some people and when they do they love me for it.

 

[Italian_and_Bi]

Im coming into this late, but since you posted I thought Id add my two cents.

Truthfully? I think your friend is a bit too immature [Im not trying to come off mean here! just honest] to be engaged to someone and essentially promising him she will be making a life long commitment. Relationships are work. They have ups and downs...and yes, you will fight over stupid stuff. But to ruin a good night out because he didnt ask her to dance? Come on. Im a female, and granted, my guy friends tell me when it comes to relationships I tend to think like a man so it goes without saying I wouldnt pull that stunt....but I wouldnt be with someone who ruined a night out for me and friends instead of speaking up. This poor guy is in for a headache.

As far as the Timmy thing? Well, if she is commited to someone, she shouldnt really be so worried about this guy. People are going to come and go out of your life, but your mate that you chose should be a constant. And the coming and going of friends shouldn't affect that. My opinion is, if a guy can come along and get her riled up...what does that say about the commitment she has? If she already is easily swayed because of something lacking in the relationship...thats clearly a problem. Guys are gonna come and go and try to see if they can break them up..., girls will too. So far it doesn't seem they are strong enough for those challenges.

You mentioned that if you truly love someone you dont want anyone else....well, want and love are two different things. Part of being ready for a commitment of this magnitude is knowing the difference. There will always be someone who catches her eye... but I think everytime that happens she's gonna wonder if the grass is greener. That doesnt say much for their future.

 

[desired_tempest]

Im coming into this late, but since you posted I thought Id add my two cents.

Truthfully? I think your friend is a bit too immature [Im not trying to come off mean here! just honest] to be engaged to someone and essentially promising him she will be making a life long commitment. Relationships are work. They have ups and downs...and yes, you will fight over stupid stuff. But to ruin a good night out because he didnt ask her to dance? Come on. Im a female, and granted, my guy friends tell me when it comes to relationships I tend to think like a man so it goes without saying I wouldnt pull that stunt....but I wouldnt be with someone who ruined a night out for me and friends instead of speaking up. This poor guy is in for a headache.

As far as the Timmy thing? Well, if she is commited to someone, she shouldnt really be so worried about this guy. People are going to come and go out of your life, but your mate that you chose should be a constant. And the coming and going of friends shouldn't affect that. My opinion is, if a guy can come along and get her riled up...what does that say about the commitment she has? If she already is easily swayed because of something lacking in the relationship...thats clearly a problem. Guys are gonna come and go and try to see if they can break them up..., girls will too. So far it doesn't seem they are strong enough for those challenges.

You mentioned that if you truly love someone you dont want anyone else....well, want and love are two different things. Part of being ready for a commitment of this magnitude is knowing the difference. There will always be someone who catches her eye... but I think everytime that happens she's gonna wonder if the grass is greener. That doesnt say much for their future.

Thank you. She did message me back and the end result was me telling her that I don't need this in my life. Sucks because I do care about her, but I won't let her play me anymore and I won't put up with her bullshit.

 

[Italian_and_Bi]

Good for you. You sound like a good person and good friend, but you deserve to have that in return. Maybe when she grows up a little you can pick up on your friendship, but for now, you probably did the best thing for you. Ive been there myself. She is playing alot of games with her fiance and with you...thats not fair to you or him.