I'm dating my father.....

[Needssome]

Not literally.....figuratively of course! I just keep finding traits and characteristics in my boyfriend that remind me of my father and it's getting kind of freaky. I already know I AM my mother....We finish each other's sentences as it is! But this whole thing is just weird...I know they say you marry your father but still....Anybody else ever have this happen?

 

[Karmic Essence]

Whew, you scared me for a second there.


And no, haven't had that happen to me. Every girl I've dated has been the complete opposite of my mother. So was my ex-wife.

 

[Needssome]

Hmmmmmm......interesting EX-wife did you say? Maybe there's a pattern....

And I was hoping the topic would at least get a ton of views if nothing else...

 

[Guest]

Not literally.....figuratively of course! I just keep finding traits and characteristics in my boyfriend that remind me of my father and it's getting kind of freaky. I already know I AM my mother....We finish each other's sentences as it is! But this whole thing is just weird...I know they say you marry your father but still....Anybody else ever have this happen?

I think this happens quite often. Several of my past bf's have had some charactristics of my father, some more than others.


Moon

 

[BabyBruceJBS]

I actually avoid anyone who is like my father, so I can definately say that my bf IS NOT like him!!! He may be a lil bit like one of my sisters though...maybe I should think about this some more....

 

[WhiteRose]

I love my daddy, and he's a great guy, but I don't think I'd want to marry my father completely. He's a little TOO serious and too much of a planner for me, although because of it we never had to worry about whether dinner would be on the table or if we'd wake up without a house, and he's a fantastic handyman/mechanic, etc. I want someone who'd be willing to pack a bag and grab me and head up into the mountains for a weekend of camping without having to call ahead for reservations or deciding before we head out exactly which route to take. I want someone who can believe in the possibilities instead of concentrating only on the numbers, but he'd also have to be reliable and steady like my dad. I don't think I've dated either of these guys yet.

 

[Guest]

It happens.
Your father, in most cases, is the first male energy in your life. He is representative of the first emotions felt for a male.
No worries.

 

[Guest]

 

[Orlanth]

None of my g/fs or b/fs have been anything like my family... When I date some one, the last thing I want is to be reminded of my family.

 

[scylis]

None of my g/fs or b/fs have been anything like my family... When I date some one, the last thing I want is to be reminded of my family.

very well said! i agree 99%! (the 1% being one, lone cousin that, if she wasn't my cousin, would be just great for me. damn the luck)

 

[Needssome]

So I'm not the only one, huh? I've just always wondered about the truth to that old saying...I mean I've always said I don't want to marry someone like my father. He's a terrific man but he has absolutely no sense of logic and it drives me insane! The weirdest part is that the families the two come from are eerily similar....Fortunately my guy doesn't have the qualities that can drive me most insane about my dad (or at least he hasn't shown them yet) however I wish he did have a couple of the other ones. My dad is adventurous when it comes to food, always willing to try new things (shark, frog legs, emu). My bf on the other hand is one of the pickiest eaters I have ever met. Of course what can I expect? I AM my mother (only a few inches shorter and several pounds lighter) and I suppose if my mother found someone she could have a successful marriage with that had the characteristics of my dad that I suppose I could do the same.....No matter how badly I want someone completely different.

 

[Shaq]

I'm sleeping with my father was an amusing episode of springer...

 

[Lost Cause]

Has your guy voiced similar comparisons of you and his Mom? As far my opinion goes, it's an okay thing as long as you weren't spending your formative years fighting off the advances of your Dad. (Hence the Freudian angle) Also, as long as during sex, he doesn't ask, "Who's your Daddy?" I think you're alright!
*Are you sure this isn't an excuse for more serious, underlying doubts on the relationship?

 

[Needssome]

Naw I don't suffer from an Electra complex and I've met his mother...I'm pretty sure there's nothing Oedipal going on here....Freud was insane anyways.....Penis envy...lol...Definitely not going on here...Somehow I think my Id, Ego, and Superego wouldn't allow it.

 

[Vivacia]

Not literally.....figuratively of course! I just keep finding traits and characteristics in my boyfriend that remind me of my father and it's getting kind of freaky. I already know I AM my mother....We finish each other's sentences as it is! But this whole thing is just weird...I know they say you marry your father but still....Anybody else ever have this happen?

Some people have tried to say that I am too... My SO has traits in common with my Dad.

His height, and build are very similar, as is his sense of humor. He is just 8yrs younger then my Dad too...

It is nothing to worry about, at least I don't think it is... It is always said that it is natural for a girl to want a man that measures up well against the main man in her life... her father!

Some of us just take it more literal then others...lol

 

[Needssome]

Hey I'm not worried that my guy is a lot like my dad, I just never thought I'd fit the cliche with all the other guys I've dated...It's the actress Marcia Gay Harden that I'd worry about. Her dad's name is Thadeus, her brother's name is Thadeus and her husband's name is Thadeus. I can understand if they were all namee Bob, or Christopher, or Jim but Thadeus? I've never met a Thadeus in real life...seems to me it looks like she did it on purpose.

 

[Vivacia]

Hey I'm not worried that my guy is a lot like my dad, I just never thought I'd fit the cliche with all the other guys I've dated...It's the actress Marcia Gay Harden that I'd worry about. Her dad's name is Thadeus, her brother's name is Thadeus and her husband's name is Thadeus. I can understand if they were all namee Bob, or Christopher, or Jim but Thadeus? I've never met a Thadeus in real life...seems to me it looks like she did it on purpose.

LOL, hmm

 

[YogiBare]

Virtually all of us wind up choosing bf/gf/spouses with similar personality characteristics to members of our immediate family (whoever we lived with while growing up). Very often, they are the characteristics of our opposite-sex parent. These family personality traits (and behaviors), both positive and negative ones, are the ones that we are used to responding to, and are most comfortable with. (It's not necessarily that we like the characteristics, but that they are familiar to us. Frequently, this "matching" process takes place subconsciously.) It's pretty much just part of life to do so. Figure out what familiar characteristics are present in your bf, and whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life living with whatever behaviors result. That's about it! Best wishes to you.

 

[Needssome]

Of course we like people who are like us and who are familiar, there's no doubt about that. As it is there are only so many personality types out there anyways...Now if I start dating someone like my sister then I'm in trouble....but until then oh well. Both my dad and my bf have similar characteristics that make them decent, caring men. Perhaps I'm not so much dating my father as I'm dating a good guy. However at this point in my life I'm not looking at any relationship lasting forever. I have too many friends who are dying to graduate so they can get married and I want to explore who I am for a few more years... Fortunately my bf isn't like my dad in that respect....He has no interest in getting married at 21-22.