skitch
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2000
- Posts
- 176
Anyone see the Marcus Camby swing the other night? I know I did. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I did when he missed and head-butted his head coach Jeff Van Gundy.
His punishment for missing the punch is a five-game suspension and a total loss of about $345,000. Excessive for a guy that didn’t even land the hit, huh? Yes and no.
With the way the rules in the NBA are now, I think that the fine was more than excessive. How many times have we seen guys punching at each other, then they’re back after one game and only $5,000 cheaper?
Here’s my real argument: Why ONLY $5,000? Personally, if I were making five million dollars a year, and my punishment was to miss a game and give up $5,000, I’d be as bad as Dennis Rodman…well, as far as fouls go, anyway.
Fining a high paid player only $5,000 or so is like putting duct tape over a hole in a tire. It just doesn’t get the job done. So, what I’ve done is thought of the best punishments for the high-priced players/former players/coaches who break the rules.
Marcus Camby: Take the keys to every Rolls Royce he has and hide them in a jail. Don’t drop the soap.
Dennis Rodman: Take away all his women’s shoes and clothing.
Karl Malone: Give HIM the women’s shoes and clothing from Rodman to wear.
Vince Carter: Move the basket up three feet and see if he can dunk. Everytime he fails, he gets head-butted by Marcus Camby.
John Stockton: Make him shoot with that Gorilla mascot on his back.
Michael Jordan: Force him to watch the Wizards play.
Rick Pitino: Make him coach the Bulls. It can only get better, right?
Kobe Bryant: He has to shake Shaquille O’Neal’s hand. Sure.
Shaquille O’Neal: He has to promise not to make any more movies.
And finally, Allen Iverson has to sing a country song. I wouldn’t like it, and I’m sure he wouldn’t either.
Well, there you have it. My true point in all this is that David Stern isn’t going to get anywhere by fining chump change to million dollar players. Fine them more and make them lose more playing time. Otherwise, he’s just taking gas money from them.
His punishment for missing the punch is a five-game suspension and a total loss of about $345,000. Excessive for a guy that didn’t even land the hit, huh? Yes and no.
With the way the rules in the NBA are now, I think that the fine was more than excessive. How many times have we seen guys punching at each other, then they’re back after one game and only $5,000 cheaper?
Here’s my real argument: Why ONLY $5,000? Personally, if I were making five million dollars a year, and my punishment was to miss a game and give up $5,000, I’d be as bad as Dennis Rodman…well, as far as fouls go, anyway.
Fining a high paid player only $5,000 or so is like putting duct tape over a hole in a tire. It just doesn’t get the job done. So, what I’ve done is thought of the best punishments for the high-priced players/former players/coaches who break the rules.
Marcus Camby: Take the keys to every Rolls Royce he has and hide them in a jail. Don’t drop the soap.
Dennis Rodman: Take away all his women’s shoes and clothing.
Karl Malone: Give HIM the women’s shoes and clothing from Rodman to wear.
Vince Carter: Move the basket up three feet and see if he can dunk. Everytime he fails, he gets head-butted by Marcus Camby.
John Stockton: Make him shoot with that Gorilla mascot on his back.
Michael Jordan: Force him to watch the Wizards play.
Rick Pitino: Make him coach the Bulls. It can only get better, right?
Kobe Bryant: He has to shake Shaquille O’Neal’s hand. Sure.
Shaquille O’Neal: He has to promise not to make any more movies.
And finally, Allen Iverson has to sing a country song. I wouldn’t like it, and I’m sure he wouldn’t either.
Well, there you have it. My true point in all this is that David Stern isn’t going to get anywhere by fining chump change to million dollar players. Fine them more and make them lose more playing time. Otherwise, he’s just taking gas money from them.
