I'm a little vague on the idea...

[mithragoddess]

I'm an editor and a long time erotica writer and I am still a little vague on the exact discription of a BDSM... Ive heard a lot of explinations about it but none seem to make sense can someone please clarify it for me? Id love to try and write one...

 

[Aeroil]

The exact defintion? I think you're being a bit vague on this one, but I can tell what the acronym means
BDSM
B&D (bondage & discipline)
D/s (Dominance & submission)
S&M sadomasochism

I'm pretty sure that's what it means, but as for a more detailed answer to your question, I dunno.

 

[BedtimeStories]

I have a feeling that many would agree that there is no "definition" to BDSM...as if it were a word.

And, it means different things to different people.

 

[mithragoddess]

So how would someone write a good BDSM? If there is no real definition...

 

[boz]

So how would someone write a good BDSM? If there is no real definition...

I think you've got to understand the inner thinking of people who participate in the activities that fall into the BDSM categories. And how the acitivites are a natural expression of the way their minds are mapped, how various needs are satisfied in various ways.

I'm sure there are FAQs in here, or elsewhere on the internet, that will help you to collect a list of activities that can fall into BDSM categories. Then you can go from there to figure out why those activities work for the people that participate in them.

But beware, that's how pretty much how I started myself. I was working on a story that was to have some B&D in it, and started asking questions in this forum, and ended up in this part of the forum to the exclusion of the rest of it, as well as adding some of said activities to my own life.

 

[BedtimeStories]

So how would someone write a good BDSM? If there is no real definition...

I'd honestly say you'd have to live it. Or know people who have...

 

[mithragoddess]

Will someone help?

Will someone be so kind as to help me understand? I am more than willing to try new things, I am not afraid to try it, I just want to know what happens, what it is all about. I dont mean someone that will help me here and there but someone that maybe could stick by me and show me how to write a good BDSM, help me understand it through that form.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Will someone be so kind as to help me understand? I am more than willing to try new things, I am not afraid to try it, I just want to know what happens, what it is all about. I dont mean someone that will help me here and there but someone that maybe could stick by me and show me how to write a good BDSM, help me understand it through that form.

I'm not sure anyone can show you how to write a good story, BDSM or otherwise.....either you can write it or you can't, though there may be things such as grammar etc., which people can guide you in. The best way to write such a piece is to feel it, write from the heart, have some life experience to give you insight even into things you may not have first hand experience of. IMHO this is not an easy genre to write in, especially if you have no interest or depth of understanding it. IME it is usually easy to pick someone who has written by reading up a bit on BDSM and using a few choice activites and words gleaned from their reading, but not really understood. If it is something you really want to pursue though, and challenges such as these I can understand well, you will find more than enough material to read and discussions to take part in on the forum...by taking part in discussions you will likely learn and understand more on a personal level than from reading a typed piece of information which you cannot explore and ask questions of or put forth your own perspective. Good luck.

Catalina

 

[DVS]

Will someone be so kind as to help me understand? I am more than willing to try new things, I am not afraid to try it, I just want to know what happens, what it is all about. I dont mean someone that will help me here and there but someone that maybe could stick by me and show me how to write a good BDSM, help me understand it through that form.

If you're an editor, you can surely read a BDSM story and notice the flow of the story. There is always at least one dominant character, and at least one submissive character in every story. Sometimes the dominant forces the submissive, sometimes not. But, from that point on, there is no real story structure you can follow that every BDSM story has.

The reason for that is, BDSM is a very wide and varied sexual area. There are those who like bondage and those who would rather have their sub submit willingly. There are those who like pain, and those who don't. There are those who prefer to have the dominant be "daddy" to them. Some subs prefer their dominant to be quite rough, with near rape tendencies.

Because the term BDSM involves so much, there are no defining answers to what it is. Talk to 20 different people and you will get 20 different answers of what BDSM means to them.

Of the stories on Literotica, I'd venture to say that quite a few of them have some form of BDSM in them. Every story category on Lit, from incest to anal or non-consent probably has someone controlling another's actions in some way.

And, I agree with others who have said that you really have to know what you're writing about. Actually living BDSM and experiencing its excitement is necessary to truly write about it. There is just something about BDSM that you can't fake. Maybe, if you read enough BDSM stories, you could capture the moment between the characters, I don't know.

Maybe that's something you could try. But, if you don't understand the feeling of someone taking control of your body and using it for their own pleasure, maybe against your wishes, or maybe tying someone up and with only your fingers slowly making them squirm until they ask and eventually plead for sexual release, then it's going to be difficult to explain.

Now, if you want some simple instructions on how it feels, I'm more than willing to help you feel it, physically. I'm only about a state or so to the east of you. It's not too far for you to come to class, is it? If being in such a situation could help you understand how a submissive feels, you might give that a try.

Confusing? Sure it is. Why do you think so many come here to talk and ask questions about how and why they feel like they do? There has even been a thread started here that asks if you're Dom, sub or switch, why you are what you are and how long have you been that way. You should read some of the answers. EVERYBODY is different, but we are all the same, in one way. BDSM.



EDITED...OUT DAMN TYPOS!!!!

 

[mithragoddess]

Thanks DVS I think that very adequately answered all my questions. I was going to see if I could email you but you are unavailable or something lol... Anyway, I'll reitterate my thanks and my appreciation for your very well worded explination.

 

[Aeroil]

Now, if you want some simple instructions on how it feels, I'm more than willing to help you feel it, physically. I'm only about a state or so to the east of you. It's not too far for you to come to class, is it? If being in such a situation could help you understand how a submissive feels, you might give that a try.

Newbies beware.... DVS is on the prowl.....

 

[snowy ciara]

Not just newbies... If I had the time and the budget, he'd be on my list of people to visit someday!

mithra, I've managed to write a fairly good bdsm type story with very little experience, but... (you knew there was going to be a but in there somewhere, didn't you?) I'm coming at it from a submissive angle. I know that powerplay works for me, as I've figured out what erotically inspires me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you don't have a personal interest in it, it may be really hard to write it. However, what you may want to do is READ! Read lots. Most of the regulars here seem to be writers; do a search on their names in the stories section here and enjoy. Also try some "pro" writers. The story of O is a classic. Exit to Eden, (the book, not the movie) goes into a lot of the motivations (for lack of a better term) of a maso sub. The descriptions of Lisa's life before she became the perfectionist Domme on the island made a lot of sense to me. (She started out as a sub.)

As far as scene preparation, try "the art of erotic submission" by Claudia Varrin. She's talking about living as a lifestyle sub and planning scenes with her Sir. Some of the preparatory techniques she used to plan her erotic adventures worked well for my writing.

Best of luck to you, and of course, when it's done, plug it in the shameless plug sticky at the top!

 

[mithragoddess]

Ive read everything Ann Rice has written under her pen names in the erotic category. Exit to Eden was good. I guess I'll be spending a few hours on the computer huh?

 

[BedtimeStories]

Will someone be so kind as to help me understand? I am more than willing to try new things, I am not afraid to try it, I just want to know what happens, what it is all about. I dont mean someone that will help me here and there but someone that maybe could stick by me and show me how to write a good BDSM, help me understand it through that form.

Well, without getting too personal, do you have any friends who partake in the lifestyle? (Be it on here, or other sources online, or within your offline life...)

The easiest way for you to gain an understanding of the lifestyle without partaking yourself is to know someone you can ask.

 

[BedtimeStories]

Ive read everything Ann Rice has written under her pen names in the erotic category. Exit to Eden was good. I guess I'll be spending a few hours on the computer huh?

Have you read the Sleeping Beauty trilogy then?

I'll admit, I was still fairly a novice when I read them and I identified so much with Beauty that it was uncanny. It was as if Ann knew my mind, thoughts, and desires when she wrote that series!

 

[DVS]

Thanks DVS I think that very adequately answered all my questions. I was going to see if I could email you but you are unavailable or something lol... Anyway, I'll reitterate my thanks and my appreciation for your very well worded explination.

How come you can't send me a PM? That's how the rest of us do it. I noticed it isn't an option to send you one, though.

 

[BedtimeStories]

She may have the whole thing blocked on her end by mistake...

 

[hazel43]

So how would someone write a good BDSM? If there is no real definition...

I don't know about anyone else but when I write, I write my fantacies. When I was writing my first story I got so hot I had to sit on a towel. It seemed like I shouldn't keep it to myself. If it turned me on, it might help someone else. So I decided to find somplace to put it on the internet. After several searches and a few computer viruses I found Literotica.

It has truely been an awakening. I have always believed that my arousal from spanking was some sort of mental defect. But now I know that I am just a masochist. And WOW there are other people who enjoy the same things I do.

 

[mithragoddess]

I liked the Sleeping Beauty Triligy i think that is what started my whole facination on the idea of this... I think i kinda flung myself into it without someone to talk to about it.

 

[mithragoddess]

i know this is the wrong thread but its my thread. How do i unblock PMs? on my end? i tried to PM some of you about this thread but i couldnt and to be quite honest... id love to hear more about this. T.T

 

[DVS]

i know this is the wrong thread but its my thread. How do i unblock PMs? on my end? i tried to PM some of you about this thread but i couldnt and to be quite honest... id love to hear more about this. T.T

I don't know. How did you block them, in the first place? The reverse might be possible.

I remember trying to PM you once and it wasn't possible ... for some reason. OK, just what have you been doing with your stuff? Now STOP IT! STOP IT, NOW!

I feel better now. Really I do. But, I still don't know how to unblock or remove the blocking of someone.

Maybe one of the MODs can find the answer for you. Isn't that what they're here for?

 

[chris9]

i know this is the wrong thread but its my thread. How do i unblock PMs? on my end? i tried to PM some of you about this thread but i couldnt and to be quite honest... id love to hear more about this. T.T

I'm not sure it will work, but you can try.
Go to the very head of this page. There is a blue bar where on the far left is written 'User CP'. Click on that. Now there should be a 'Control Panel' on the left side of the screen. Click 'Edit Options'. Boxes appear on the screen. The second box is titled 'Messaging & Notification'. In there is a sub-box 'Private Messaging'. And there is a little click-box where you can mark if you want to enable PMs.
I hope this helps!

 

[Her sissy slave]

writing

I'm an editor and a long time erotica writer and I am still a little vague on the exact discription of a BDSM... Ive heard a lot of explinations about it but none seem to make sense can someone please clarify it for me? Id love to try and write one...

===============================
after going through the thread here,...there is a lot of good sound advice.
mine is just this;
it is all fantasy. none of it is done on 1st avenue at friday rush hour at 5pm. it is not real in THAT sense. otherwise......each to their own.
most folks are into the sex and love thing. i haven't done that as yet. mine is strictly domestics services.
but yes, most have the play issue also. mine is not.

so you see many people many ideas. so the advice they gave here, about find someone you already know and all the others......

some really good advice for you here.

good luck.
i hope you write one about male slaves and femdom. i see too much about girl slaves and male masters.