I'll send an SOS to the world.....

[helpmebeme]

Hi all,

I'll get right to it. My wife, the love of my life for the last 20 years, passed away unexpectedly in April, of a massive stroke that left her unable to speak for the last two weeks of her life. Nothing could have been worse.

Except: I was always very close with her three kids and their spouses (this was a second marriage), and each couple's two children. Very close.

Since the funeral, there hasn't been much contact with them, and none really that I didn't initiate, and they all live within a few minutes of our house. I feel like I did something very wrong, but none of them wants to talk about whatever it is, so I'm left to wonder and worry.

I love the six grandchildren more than anything, and they love me, but they're all under the age of 11, so coming over to visit is under their parents' control.

Other than that, I moved here to Massachusetts to be with the love of my life, so I don't have any friends here. I'm doing a lot of talking to myself, and yes, I'm lonely. Not for sex or love -- way too early for that -- but for companionship, someone to talk to.

I hope that someone gets my message, message in a bottle. If you don't recognize that sentence, you're not 64 years old like I am.

 

[quietlylooking]

I'm not quite 64, but I definitely recognize the allusion.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It could be that your children-in-law don't know how to interact with you now. I suspect you didn't do anything wrong: perhaps they are themselves unsure how to approach you.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[RandallFloyd]

So very sorry for your loss.

Have you offered to watch the grandchildren? Would they take you up on it?

 

[just_e]

Hi, first of all my deepest condolences.
My first thoght is have you tried telling her children (the parents) how you are feeling, and that you still want to be part of their family? after all you made their mom happy for 20 years.
The reason I ask that is that many of us go through life thinking 'what if I had just said that' and wondering what might have been.

Don't forget that they have just lost the most important woman in their lives too
and as such visiting your home may bring back many emotional memories.
I bought my house from a woman who lives next door now and after 2 years she still won't come here because this was her mothers home and has too many memories , maybe in time?

If your wifes brirthday is coming up soon try suggesting a family get together to celebrate her life and the good times you all had together.

One last thing, you're on Lit now so you have more friends all around the world than you ever thought possible!

best wishes,
Ian

 

[BlackCashmere]

Hi, first of all my deepest condolences.
My first thoght is have you tried telling her children (the parents) how you are feeling, and that you still want to be part of their family? after all you made their mom happy for 20 years.
The reason I ask that is that many of us go through life thinking 'what if I had just said that' and wondering what might have been.

Don't forget that they have just lost the most important woman in their lives too
and as such visiting your home may bring back many emotional memories.
I bought my house from a woman who lives next door now and after 2 years she still won't come here because this was her mothers home and has too many memories , maybe in time?

If your wifes brirthday is coming up soon try suggesting a family get together to celebrate her life and the good times you all had together.

One last thing, you're on Lit now so you have more friends all around the world than you ever thought possible!

best wishes,
Ian

This post is well said...

I am so very sorry for your loss...

I would try reaching out...Im sure they value and love you too...not only for you but also for how you loved their mom...and the grandkids too...

Loss is heartbreaking...my feeling is that they are just grieving now and trying to understand it all as it sounds like an unexpected happening...

Time...and love...hug

 

[SweetSara86]

Hi all,

I'll get right to it. My wife, the love of my life for the last 20 years, passed away unexpectedly in April, of a massive stroke that left her unable to speak for the last two weeks of her life. Nothing could have been worse.

Except: I was always very close with her three kids and their spouses (this was a second marriage), and each couple's two children. Very close.

Since the funeral, there hasn't been much contact with them, and none really that I didn't initiate, and they all live within a few minutes of our house. I feel like I did something very wrong, but none of them wants to talk about whatever it is, so I'm left to wonder and worry.

I love the six grandchildren more than anything, and they love me, but they're all under the age of 11, so coming over to visit is under their parents' control.

Other than that, I moved here to Massachusetts to be with the love of my life, so I don't have any friends here. I'm doing a lot of talking to myself, and yes, I'm lonely. Not for sex or love -- way too early for that -- but for companionship, someone to talk to.

I hope that someone gets my message, message in a bottle. If you don't recognize that sentence, you're not 64 years old like I am.

Welcome to Literotica there's plenty of people for you to talk to here. Good luck with your family.

 

[troubledone]

Welcome to Literotica there's plenty of people for you to talk to here. Good luck with your family.

With your PMs off you are the most potent company on lit

 

[Adrian69702006]

Thanks for sharing that. Losing a loved one is always tough and different people deal with bereavement and experience it differently. I don't know what historically your relationship has been with your wife's family and I'll try to follow the advice of good Queen Bess in not opening windows on to men's souls. What I will say is that adjusting to the loss of someone you loved - and they loved too - will be a slow and difficult process for you all. It's important to let the healing process, such as it is, run its course. Try to be gentle and patient with yourself. Don't rush into any ill judged relationships or liaisons. There may come a time when you feel it's right to enter into another relationship but it's best not done until you've given the healing process a chance. Try not to expect too much either of yourself or your wife's family. You'll be finding it tough right now and so will they. Try to keep up your circle of friends and any interests/hobbies you have. Some people find it helpful to talk to their GP or a minister of religion when they're coming to terms with a bereavement. If you want to chat, please don't hesitate to PM me.

 

[helpmebeme]

Not sure if I am replying in the right way. I mean, I want to reply to all of you who took some time to read/think/respond to me. I've been doing all that you have suggested regarding the kids and the grandkids; it has been one-way so far.

The big problem is my wife and her family were my whole life. I'm not from southeast Mass, gorgeous as it is here. I live two blocks from the beach, in paradise, by myself. So I don't have a circle of friends. It's me and the dogs and the canary pretty much 7 days a week. Yes, I do talk out loud to them all the time. They listen, ok.

I wish you all the best for your support in responding to my situation.

 

[helpmebeme]

just thanks, thanks, thanks....

You have all given me great advice, seemingly from the heart and I appreciate your concern and the time you took to express it. You've given me a lot to think about, some perspectives I hadn't considered.

I have some tears tonight, but they're coming from smiles, not frowns. thanks for that.