If your vagina/penis could talk...

[Violette]

what would it say?

I just saw "The Vagina Monologues" (Damn good show, by the way!) and I heard about a "Penis Monologues" being created, so I thought I'd see what my fellow Literoticans had to say on the matter...

For the record, mine would definitely say: "I'm neat, I'm clean, and I need some attention! So if you don't kiss my nub, dammit, then I'm not kissing your knob! Now get to WORK!"

 

[EX-Member]

Mine would say....

STOP CHOKING ME!

 

[Guest]

Re: Mine would say....

STOP CHOKING ME!

________________

ROTFLMFAOL!

 

[Bigdog]

I'm sure there would be some sarcastic remarks about dustbunnies.

 

[#1tankcomander]

Hey it's dark in here!

 

[SweetCherry]

Mine would probably say...

"Hey! Remember me? We used to have loads of fun all the time! What the fuck happened?"



Damn, I really hate not gettin' any.

 

[patient1]

Maybe it would sing "Feed Me, Seymor" from The Little Shop of Horrors

 

[Violette]

ROFL!

"Feed Me"! I like that one!

And Cherry, don't worry; the summer's just getting started!

 

[SweetCherry]

Re: ROFL!

"Feed Me"! I like that one!

And Cherry, don't worry; the summer's just getting started!

Violette, it's bloody well hard to get my lovin' from 15 thousand miles away.



Ah well, I just have a reason to eventually fuck like a bunny. Gotta catch up on lonst time. Does anyone know how long you can go without food or water if you're exerting yourself in wild, kinky sex?

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

It Matters Not What It Would Say.

I Would Kill It Before It Spoke even One Word!

LOL

 

[Ice Cold]

Mine would ask... Hey are we open for business or what? Why'd I have to be attached to you, and stuck between these two nuts. Monks and Eunichs are getting more action than you.

 

[Violette]

Well, DAMN!

Looks like the parts are ready to party, but going through hell trying to find the RIGHT party!

Are things really that tough down there?

 

[teddybear4play]

Mine would ask... Hey are we open for business or what? Why'd I have to be attached to you, and stuck between these two nuts. Monks and Eunichs are getting more action than you.

LOL!!

Mine would probably say, "Dude, you're boring as hell. I quit."

TB4p

 

[Ice Cold]

It's a jungle down there.... it can't ever make up it's mind. Sometime it sways one way, then the other. Some mornings he's tired of being down there and tries to take a peek topside.

 

[SexyAmber]

Mine would say...

make it harder, she likes hitting her head on the headboard

A

 

[Guest]

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

my cock would probably be saying -"Man release your grip a little! I can hardly breathe!"

 

[myydryn]

"You know, I don't even like this Rosy Palm and her five sisters. I'm gonna quit if you don't at least give me some choices here!"

Myydryn

 

[Guest]

Mine would say,

"Damn, where'd all that cock go? I was just settling in to being fucked every day. Now this? Not even a finger or mouth? Damn I'm lonely."

I really need to find her a date. lol

Moon

 

[Dougy]

I think it might be

'Hey, how 'bout some attention down heah'

I think my penis might be an east coast Teamster...

 

[Liontamr]

"You know that pussy you always dream about? How come we see the olympics more often than we see that?"

 

[kiwiwolf]

If my penis could talk I would have the little buggers vocal cords removed. I have secrets I would love to have kept.

 

[Dougy]

I'm also not sure mine wouldn't just giggle like a schoolgirl and ask for some milk and cookies.

 

[Kitte]

Mine would say "Thanks for the new friend...wowsers he sure must like me he is down here an awful lot"

 

[seXieleXie]

"i hate you, and the manufacturer of your latest toy"