If you knew a friend's wife was cheating...
- Thread starter Cirrus
- Start date
Sparky Kronkite
Spam Eater Extraordinare'
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2000
- Posts
- 8,921
I'd black mail her to......
fuck me too.
fuck me too.
Ambrosious
Weaver of Written Worlds
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2000
- Posts
- 6,346
Awwww fuck it. Rent a billboard.
willywanker
just one man's opinion
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2000
- Posts
- 3,620
Its a no win situation
So your absolutely positive, have the proof in hand. Your still an ass the next day, the guy who caused a problem or the break up of his marriage. And if they work it out, forget her ever having a good thing to say about you.
So you keep your mouth shut and he finds out someother way. Then it slips that you knew. Your still an ass.
There is no good in being the one with this knowledge. I know my brothers wife has stepped out on occasion. When he has raised the question, I've tried to stear him toward some answers but I'm not telling, no damn way.
So your absolutely positive, have the proof in hand. Your still an ass the next day, the guy who caused a problem or the break up of his marriage. And if they work it out, forget her ever having a good thing to say about you.
So you keep your mouth shut and he finds out someother way. Then it slips that you knew. Your still an ass.
There is no good in being the one with this knowledge. I know my brothers wife has stepped out on occasion. When he has raised the question, I've tried to stear him toward some answers but I'm not telling, no damn way.
stargazer76
Struck by Lightning
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2001
- Posts
- 1,597
I think...
if my husband were cheating and my best friend came to me with irrefutable proof, I would be glad that she told me. Anything less that irrefutable proof, and I would just be pissed. However, I have heard from people in this situation that they wished their friend had just kept out of it and not told what they knew. It's a toss up, I think, and a lot of it depends on your relationship with the friend, and whether you have personal stake in the outcome.
if my husband were cheating and my best friend came to me with irrefutable proof, I would be glad that she told me. Anything less that irrefutable proof, and I would just be pissed. However, I have heard from people in this situation that they wished their friend had just kept out of it and not told what they knew. It's a toss up, I think, and a lot of it depends on your relationship with the friend, and whether you have personal stake in the outcome.
Ew. No way. Not that he's an unattractive guy, he is, but he's just too close as a friend. It would be like boning a family member. 
Willy, I see logic in your reply, and that was actually my third option. Drop hints and the like until he finally gets it. I feel sorry for the guy...he loves her so much he'd almost never think/admit that she'd cheat, but she is. Oh boy, yes she is. Bigtime.
Willy, I see logic in your reply, and that was actually my third option. Drop hints and the like until he finally gets it. I feel sorry for the guy...he loves her so much he'd almost never think/admit that she'd cheat, but she is. Oh boy, yes she is. Bigtime.
thumbs2_ca
wishin I was fishin
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2001
- Posts
- 1,723
I would sit down my friend and tell him of the irrefutable truth and tell him. That is what a close friendship is all about. If he finds out later and finds out you knew then your friendship will be toast.
teresafannin
One who hears the Music
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2000
- Posts
- 2,532
Stay out of it! Situations like this are no win. The one time I got involved in something like this, they reconciled & neither one ever talked to me again.
G
Guest
Guest
pleading the fifth
Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil...
Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil...
shadowsource
A Flash In The Pain
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2001
- Posts
- 1,664
No!
Too many people get too many kicks from interfering in situations like this. It's amazing how much people actually know, though they never admit it. Stay out.
If you were saving someone from disaster (like before a wedding, perhaps), you might say something. I just hate it when one side tells you something and then you're supposd to help them lie to the other side. That really sucks and I just back away from both of them. I don't like games.
Too many people get too many kicks from interfering in situations like this. It's amazing how much people actually know, though they never admit it. Stay out.
If you were saving someone from disaster (like before a wedding, perhaps), you might say something. I just hate it when one side tells you something and then you're supposd to help them lie to the other side. That really sucks and I just back away from both of them. I don't like games.
bluntforcemama
Aqua Vulva
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2000
- Posts
- 30,225
Put yourself in HIS shoes, and then do what you would want for yourself.
april-wine
Deviant Lesbo!
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2001
- Posts
- 13,215
mail him a letter anonymously with the proof, he probably already has an idea something is wrong.........this way you are not involved face to face and you don't feel guilty for not telling
Angel
Cuntbeans
- Joined
- Dec 26, 1999
- Posts
- 33,975
You know what? Tell him. If he is your friend and you care about him TELL HIM. You may lose his friendship for a little while, but you will have saved him alot of hurt. He may not want to believe you, and you shouldn't push it - but in the end he will know that you gave a shit enough to tell him and tried to save his feelings.
When my ex cheated on me, my best friend found out about it and never told me. After I found out by fiance cheated on me, I also found out that my best friend had known about it for a very long time and hadn't told me for fear I wouldn't believe him, and that I would hate him forever.
I was deeply hurt by the fact that he knew for many many months and instead of saving me from getting in too deep and getting hurt as bad as I did he let me get in deeper and deeper until I found out on my own. I felt hurt and betrayed not only by my ex, but by my best friend as well. (And the best friend not telling me cut alot deeper than being cheated on in the long run.)
Had he warned me, I probably would have stayed with my ex - for awhile anyway, but as my best friend was always honest it would have stuck with me and I would never have gotten into the relationship as deeply as I did. And if I had been angry with him for telling me, i KNOW my anger would have been pale in the comparison of how I felt when I found out he knew and never told me.
When my ex cheated on me, my best friend found out about it and never told me. After I found out by fiance cheated on me, I also found out that my best friend had known about it for a very long time and hadn't told me for fear I wouldn't believe him, and that I would hate him forever.
I was deeply hurt by the fact that he knew for many many months and instead of saving me from getting in too deep and getting hurt as bad as I did he let me get in deeper and deeper until I found out on my own. I felt hurt and betrayed not only by my ex, but by my best friend as well. (And the best friend not telling me cut alot deeper than being cheated on in the long run.)
Had he warned me, I probably would have stayed with my ex - for awhile anyway, but as my best friend was always honest it would have stuck with me and I would never have gotten into the relationship as deeply as I did. And if I had been angry with him for telling me, i KNOW my anger would have been pale in the comparison of how I felt when I found out he knew and never told me.
sexy-girl
sacrilegious
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2001
- Posts
- 19,584
i think you should tell him ... perhaps you might lose the friendship of both friends .. but your still going to save this guy alot of pain ... one way or the other i would want to know ... i think everybody would want to know if this was happening ... especially if it was more then just a one off thing
if this guy is your friend you should say even if it means losing him you'll be helping him im sorry i know thats harsh *hugs* but i think its the right thing to do i dont envy your situation though at all im very sorry
if this guy is your friend you should say even if it means losing him you'll be helping him im sorry i know thats harsh *hugs* but i think its the right thing to do i dont envy your situation though at all im very sorry
Why do you want to get involved with this? Are you god? do you make the decisions about life? Or is it just you want to fuck one or the other? It does not concern you. Period the end. Stir shit if you want to, but be prepared for the overflow. Geeze, why do people always have to put their nose where it doesn't belong
morninggirl5
Secret Dream Machine
- Joined
- May 6, 2001
- Posts
- 10,647
You're in a no win situation. You've been given a lot to think about already. My solution would be to confront the wife. Tell her you know what's going on and she can tell her husband or you will.
Give her a week to do so and if she doesn't, tell him. He may be angry but if he's a true friend once he gets over the anger, he'll be glad YOU were honest with him.
Give her a week to do so and if she doesn't, tell him. He may be angry but if he's a true friend once he gets over the anger, he'll be glad YOU were honest with him.
Nogard...who are you and who pissed in your cornflakes? Not a very good way to introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm Nogard" would have been better. I do not want to fuck him. Or her. I'm straight and he's my best friend. Isn't that sticking your nose in MY business though? Are you god? Here's your overflow, btw.
I really appreciate everyone's else's replies. I can see how he might shoot the messenger, even though we're close he might react out of emotion, so I think I'll do it anonymously like you said, april wine. I've been thinking about it since I saw/got the proof, and I think he needs to know. He's my best friend, and we've been with each other through great times and shitty and I just can't bail on him now. I think the hurt now will save him from an even greater hurt in the future.
I really appreciate everyone's else's replies. I can see how he might shoot the messenger, even though we're close he might react out of emotion, so I think I'll do it anonymously like you said, april wine. I've been thinking about it since I saw/got the proof, and I think he needs to know. He's my best friend, and we've been with each other through great times and shitty and I just can't bail on him now. I think the hurt now will save him from an even greater hurt in the future.
