If you don'tlike it here why stay?

[Todd]

That is a question I have been trying to figure out. people come here and moan and complaint about:

- people
- topics
- BB being used as a chat
- flirtaous threads
- people ethnic background
- peoples beliefs

If you really hate it here so much why do you bother to stay or come back.

I am sure in real life if you didn't like swimming you woulnd't stay in the pool. If you didn't like driving a bike you wouldn't stay on it. If you didn't like eating brocolli you would not continue to eat it. So why if you hate it so much here do you bother to continue to come back and back and back.? Its perplexing.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Todd]

Sorry CelestialBody, I didn't mean to make it my toilet, I am just trying to figure out why people who obviously have so much hate for this site, bother to take the time to come back and voice their disgust. It seems rather counter productive, because by staing you actually promote the growth of what you do not like.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Madame Pandora]

Todd,

It's a good question.

There are multiple reasons, of course. One is because all people are different. Everyone has the perception that others should behave according to their own "rules" of etiquette. But not everyone agrees.

Personally, I don't think it's wrong to argue and/or discuss things. Even when that discussion escalates. But I know that other people take offense to it.

This is a public place. There are all kinds of people here. That is part of the wonderful appeal. On any given day there are going to be people who are silly and fun, or pensive and stimulating and, when we are very lucky, a little of both.

There are going to be some of us who don't get along. Natures will clash. But just because some of us are vocal about our dislikes doesn't mean we aren't enjoying the overall picture. Also - what I have found is that people WILL take notice when someone makes a "whining" or "negative" post, but doesn't have any clue of the 50 or so "fun" or "positive" ones were made by the same person. So the perception is that some people are troublemakers. Some people play to the game of popularity...others speak their minds...others just go with the flow. It's all valid.

I didn't think the boards should be used for personal chat. Just my opinion. A good number of people agreed with me and a good number disagreed with me. Bottom line - everyone will do what they want. So...I walked away from the discussion. Eventually it gets to a point where an argument is a circle, then there's nothing else to be gained by discussion, at least not for me. I enjoy the boards despite the fluffy personal chat posts, so I stayed.

I can only speak for myself, Todd, but just because I can argue about something or suggest change doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. But then, I don't EXPECT everyone to agree with me, or for the changes I suggest to be accepted and jumped on. So, I don't have much emotion tied up in it when things go against my mindset.

I guess perhaps there are enough others like myself to give you cause to ask the question. And it's a good question.

Why am I like this? Well, at my home, supper was always a loud affair. We ate, we talked, we argued, we laughed. I tend to look at every public place as having the same potential as my family's supper table. I like debate...I like laughter, and I will not back down when I disagree with something. Again, not everyone will agree with me or my methods. I don't expect that.

CB, I also understand what you mean about people using "the board as their toilet." But...your perception of this is maybe different from mine, and my perception is probably different from the next guy/girl and so on. It can be frustrating, though, when it seems like the negativity overtakes the enjoyment.

Another ingredient of the soup is that, without benefit of expression, tone, and line of vision, words are often misunderstood or misdirected (as Todd misunderstood CB's comment). I think that, more than anything, causes much ado about nothing.

Just MHO.

MP

 

[Todd]

I agree with you for the most part. I guess my question was really to the people who come here and all they do is complain about the site. Everything is how they hate the site so much and how they hate so and so. Those are the people who I do not understand why they stay or come back again and again.

I expect the normal personality conflicts and what not and have you. to come back though when you hate everybody and everything that is what make absolutely no sense to me.

For example, I hate the smell and taste of eggplant. Do I force myself to smell it and eat it every day or do I try to put as much distance between me and the offensive product or do I try and make the eggplant become a watermelon that I like?

Its the same thing here. If you don't like people, dont't read thier posts, If you don't like the BB, don't come to the BB. Its impossible to change everyones views to what we would like so why bother trying. You just stress yourself out getting angrier and more frustrated but it accomplishes nothing. That is what I cannot understand.

 

[CelestialBody]

MHO

 

[Laurel]

I think all trouble starts here - and in real life - when people start thinking that other people should act and think just like them. If we all could just listen to those with different personalities & viewpoints and smile, understanding that they have a right to do things their way, then stupid conflicts wouldn't arise. Unfortunately, someone will post 'wrong' or post a 'wrong' opinion, or someone will post about something they did that others feel is 'wrong', and someone else will get their moral panties in a wad and come out, guns blazing, to take on the Evildoer. Just my two cents, worth half as much...

I also think that people like to complain. I know I do. When someone comes to me with valid criticisms, I do my damndest to fix them. But when random trolls talk about how much I suck and Lit sucks, I just laugh and feel sorry for them. If they had an actual beef with me or the site, they'd say it to my face (in email or on the board under their registered name). The fact they choose to do it anonymously makes me think they're just whining and stirring shit. So that's why they stay here...because they LIKE it here. They LIKE Literotica. Why else would someone hang out here - no free beer!

 

[Busty]

I come here because I like the BB - there sometimes are some really intellingent threads - do I bitch about the site - yes I have but I do do it as myself - and it's never been about the BB just about the chatroom. There are no right or wrong opinions - your own opinion and that is what should matter to you - and yes tolerance of others. However, as I have said before when others do not tolerate your opinion and begin doing things that they feel is right that's when you are going to have a problem. How to reach a happy medium - well that is a whole different ball of wax so to speak. Perhaps a blending of opinions where everyone can live with the end result - compromise.

 

[Guest]

So they can bitch about it.

 

[Whispersecret]

Maybe I'm missing something, because I don't read all the threads. But I can't think of anyone who comes here and only says they hate everything. Unless you count the trolls like Shaddup and that ilk.

I don't hate anyone here. I don't even hate any of the behavior (save the cruel trolling). I do get extremely irritated, and even furious at times, but it's never become hate.

 

[Laurel]

Maybe I'm missing something, because I don't read all the threads. But I can't think of anyone who comes here and only says they hate everything. Unless you count the trolls like Shaddup and that ilk.

I think that's who they're talking about, though I could be wrong. That's who I was talking about.

 

[Todd]

Maybe I'm missing something, because I don't read all the threads. But I can't think of anyone who comes here and only says they hate everything. Unless you count the trolls like Shaddup and that ilk.

I think that's who they're talking about, though I could be wrong. That's who I was talking about.

OMG Laurel replied to one of my posts, twice even. I'm not worthy, j/k.

yes those were the type I was refering to when I posted this topic

 

[Whispersecret]

I've never understood people like that either. I always wonder what satisfaction people get from vandalism too. I just don't get that.

 

[Whispersecret]

Re: MHO

CB, I need some clarification on your post. I've read it several times and don't seem to understand some of what you're talking about.

"People feel threatened by the slightest criticism and immediately react-folloewd by others who may or may not agree with the one who recieved the criticism, but might have been waiting for the critic "step out of line" by their perceptions so that they might be subject to the wrath of that board member."

That in particular left me totally confused.

"...perceptions are honed by experience..."

What do you mean by that?

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

There are going to be some of us who don't get along. Natures will clash. But just because some of us are vocal about our dislikes doesn't mean we aren't enjoying the overall picture. Also - what I have found is that people WILL take notice when someone makes a "whining" or "negative" post, but doesn't have any clue of the 50 or so "fun" or "positive" ones were made by the same person. So the perception is that some people are troublemakers. Some people play to the game of popularity...others speak their minds...others just go with the flow. It's all valid.

I enjoy the boards despite the fluffy personal chat posts, so I stayed.

I can only speak for myself, Todd, but just because I can argue about something or suggest change doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. But then, I don't EXPECT everyone to agree with me, or for the changes I suggest to be accepted and jumped on. So, I don't have much emotion tied up in it when things go against my mindset.

Well, that's what I would have said, so I figured I'd just quote the wise woman.

 

[Dillinger]

Yeah... what they said.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Always]

- people
i try not to
- topics
it's an erotica board we should say anything
- BB being used as a chat
so? get over it and don't read those threads
- flirtaous threads
well DUH!!! come on, it's a sex site. if you can't deal with flirting then you shouldn't be here to begin with.
- people ethnic background
tell these people to go fuck themselves (the racists, that is)
- peoples beliefs
see above

If you really hate it here so much why do you bother to stay or come back.

good question. damn good question.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I don't think the complainers hate the SITE. They just dislike certain elements, whether those elements are people, types of posts, or whatever. They want the board to conform to their ideal vision of what it should be. Surely the complaining shows they care, even just a little?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I like it here. Always have, there was a stretch when I got very frustrated because a certain type of thread had overrun the board and there were few, if any, of other types of threads. I just wanted there to be more of a balance between the two, not that they stop altogether. I felt there was enough room for everyone, even though I am not a fun loving party groupie. I want seriousness as well, I want to think and do grown up things. I want to play too, just not all the time.

A certain segment no doubt strongly dislikes me because I appeared to be attacking the main perpetrators of the constant repetitious silliness when I was just bitching. It pretty much hurt that I am not allowed to present my take on a situation without being a wetblanket party pooper, while others may post whatever they wish simply because they are in the groupie clique. It shouldn't have hurt, but it did, and that made me get mean.

There seems to be more of a balance now, the silly threads are still there, and there are threads posted by more than three people I can look through.

It's nice when everyone has consideration for others.

Trolls don't count. They should be boiled in cheap dime store perfume.

 

[Guest]

Whispersecret:
"Maybe I'm missing something, because I don't read all the threads. But I can't think of anyone who comes here and only says they hate everything. Unless you count the trolls like Shaddup and that ilk."

Todd:
"yes those were the type I was refering to when I posted this topic"

I would wager that the trolls are regular posters - they only complain in troll form. No one comes here only to complain.

 

[LacyCasy]

CB, I need some clarification on your post. I've read it several times and don't seem to understand some of what you're talking about.

"People feel threatened by the slightest criticism and immediately react-folloewd by others who may or may not agree with the one who recieved the criticism, but might have been waiting for the critic "step out of line" by their perceptions so that they might be subject to the wrath of that board member."

That in particular left me totally confused.

"...perceptions are honed by experience..."

What do you mean by that?

Here is a perfect clarification for you. I had made criticisms of you and your complaining last month then dropped it. Then you were asking why people didn't take personal things to email so I asked if you were going to take your problem with Ambrosious to email. When I did that April jumped me, told me I sucked and to go away, well there was more to it than that but I think you get the point. I believe that is the type of situation CB was discussing.

 

[Whispersecret]

LacyCasy, I remember April's post, and I vaguely remember a different circumstance surrounding that incident, but I see what you mean in how it relates to CB's post.

Personally, I don't interact with April enough (no offense, April) to consider her a crony. I'm positive she doesn't consider herself to be my crony. But I suppose that all has to do with point of view. I'm sure there are other people whom are considered my cronies, or fellow Dog Pound Puppies, as it were.

What has probably happened is that the personalities/things that push April's buttons just might be the same ones that push mine. MP and I "click" like that, too. I'm starting to see there are others who think and react to the same things I do. It happens. People who are alike gravitate toward each other.

I am human and I do like it when people agree with me, BUT it's not my intention to lead a pack of wild dogs in search of victims to harry and attack. (Not that April or anyone else who agrees with me is a wild dog.) I don't type my posts thinking Gee, can't wait for my Puppies to back me up on THIS ONE! But I can see that when people agree with each other "against" one person or idea, it can seem like it's intentional.

There's not really anything I can do. I'm not going to ask everyone to stop agreeing with me. I'm not going to stop posting in agreement with other people whom I agree with. I can and do try my best to be non-combative and rational when I disagree. That will have to do.

 

[Guest]

Whispersecret.. I disagree! BWHAHAHAHA- eh?
No, down girls! Down!
Someone help, I'm being mauled by a vicious group of puppies!