If You Could Go Back in Time and Change

[elsol]

Sharon Gonzales.

Scene: Freshman Year At College. I'm in her room. She pulls out this gold shirt, that is going to hang on for dear life to her breasts if she ever puts it on and will show much tummy. The paired black miniskirt that goes with it MIGHT have gone down two inches past her ass.

A little conversation about the outfit and she says:

SG: "It's going to look great when you take me out dancing."

(Right now, a lot of heterosexual males are cringing because they know what's coming.)

I said: You have a boyfriend.

(Now, in life this is a monumental WTF moment that a man never forgets BUT it gets worse.)

She said: So?

I said... Does it really matter what I said? NOOOOOOO!!!! Suffice it to say that I unwittingly chose to pass on a female that was PERFECT at that moment. SG was not perfect, the combination of everything she was and everything I was made for that type of situation where a transition from boy to man in the male-female area would have been utterly smooth.

-----

Of course, it's possible that what I think was happening in that room, isn't actually what was happening... I guess only a woman could confirm that I dropped the Super Bowl winning pass.

 

[sweetness6280]

Thats true, but some things, like apologizing when you should have, or not having an arguement or other option wouldn't make any drastic change, but might make a person feel better about himself or herself.

I agree with that. I do try to go back an apologize as soon as possible after I realize I have done something that hurt or offended someone.

I know my philosophy isn't for everyone, but it's what works for me.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Sharon Gonzales.

Scene: Freshman Year At College. I'm in her room. She pulls out this gold shirt, that is going to hang on for dear life to her breasts if she ever puts it on and will show much tummy. The paired black miniskirt that goes with it MIGHT have gone down two inches past her ass.

A little conversation about the outfit and she says:

SG: "It's going to look great when you take me out dancing."

(Right now, a lot of heterosexual males are cringing because they know what's coming.)

I said: You have a boyfriend.

(Now, in life this is a monumental WTF moment that a man never forgets BUT it gets worse.)

She said: So?

I said... Does it really matter what I said? NOOOOOOO!!!! Suffice it to say that I unwittingly chose to pass on a female that was PERFECT at that moment. SG was not perfect, the combination of everything she was and everything I was made for that type of situation where a transition from boy to man in the male-female area would have been utterly smooth.

-----

Of course, it's possible that what I think was happening in that room, isn't actually what was happening... I guess only a woman could confirm that I dropped the Super Bowl winning pass.

Look at it this way: If you had followed through on your baser instincts, such as most men would have done, her boyfriend might have broken your neck.

 

[CyranodeMelbourne]

There is stuff I regret now, that I wish I hadn't done. There are choices I should have made or shouldn't have made, conversations I should have found the courage to have or the wisdom to supress. But, would I go back and change it? Probably not. Who I am now, and what I have, has come about through those experiences and if they had not happened I like to think I would be less than I am now, rather than more.

However, that is because my life has been, on the whole, a good one and my experiences far less painful than what others have experienced. I have often wished I could change events that have happened to others, prevented pain for those I have come to care about. I think especially of my wife, and of other women who have been important to me who went through similar things.

Sweetwitch and Starrkers, my life has been irrevocably affected(if only secondhand) by the evil that men can do to women so reading what you had to say makes my heart break. For what it's worth, coming from a geek you don't even know and very clumsily expressed, I wish it was in my power to take away the pain in your past.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I first saw this thread earlier today, and my first thought was something very close to what you wrote. I decided not to post immediately, but to think on it a bit, and see if I changed my mind. I haven't.

Everything that has happened, positive or negative, has helped to create who I am today. I like who I am, so why would I want to change it. Before someone says it, yes, I have been through extreme trauma and a number of tragedies, but that is life. It's a balance of joy and sorrow, light and dark, abundance and lack. Experiencing the difficult times allows me the luxury of reveling in the incredible times.

I'm ready for more.

I feel secure enough in myself that I know who I am, that I highly doubt that changing one or two things in my past would really change who I am. It would just make me feel a little bit better or worse about myself (and if I made the changes that I asked for, I would only feel better, because there is no way to feel worse about yourself than I do with the choices I have made in my love life).

 

[only_more_so]

One thing.

Just one thing.

What would it be?

When I was in the third grade my family moved to a new house. I am convinced because of mold and mildew in that house, I developed asthma, allergies, etc. My immune system was left reeling by the asthma and allergies, so I frequently got strep throat, colds, etc. I didn't really become healthy again until I moved out to go to college.

Of course, changing that would change so many other things, that I don't know if it would be a good thing or not.

The other thing I might change is my choice for grad school.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I would have stayed in Massachussets.

 

[rbijon]

I would have stayed in Massachussets.

I would have not missed that "left turn in Albuquerque."

 

[FatDino]

I would have stuck to the first rule of my self-made Fundamental Rules of Friendship.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

If the following two things didnt change anything other than what i wanted, i would have wanted to be born in the US, 20 years earlier, and not born Indian.

I would have made a better effort through my A levels (college equivalent) meaning better grades.

I dont regret the university i chose, i have some of the best friends in the world there, who i could never live without.

I would have worked harder through university, meaning i would be in a better position now, to do my post grad.

Suffice to say, i dont like much of what i am now, so to be honest, as long as the things i mentioned above, didnt change my friends, or my love life, i would be fine.

 

[only_more_so]

I would have stuck to the first rule of my self-made Fundamental Rules of Friendship.

What rule is that?

 

[cloudy]

I would've majored in something a little more useful and lucrative than Business Management and English (I switched majors my sophomore year, from Computer Research like a dumbass).

I would've worked things out with my first husband instead of splitting. Maybe if I had, he wouldn't be the narrow-minded copy of his parents that he is now.

Waited until later to start having kids.

Spent more time with my dad before he died.

 

[Guest]

edited

 

[feeeriek]

as much as i would like to say i would have...i probably wouldn't have

 

[Equinoxe]

I sincerely hope never to have an answer to this question.

 

[CharleyH]

One thing.

Just one thing.

What would it be?




For me....I wouldn't make a certain phone call. This ONE phone call shaped entire my life and is the reason for where I am now.


I could have hung up at the last minute, but I didn't. And now my entire life has been dictated by that one 60 second phone call.

But then again, if I had not made that one call I wouldn't know the sweetest love that could ever be.

Such heartache to get to where I am now...enveloped in a love that knows no boundaries.

But knowing what I know now....could I do it all again?


What about you?


Could you do it all again?

Or do you wish it had never happend?

Not a thing. Not a minute or a second. If I changed any ONE thing in my life to this point? I can with certainty say I would never have married who I did.

 

[Frank Noir]

I'd have gone into therapy with my current shrink at least ten years ago. Would have saved me so much pain. And who knows - I might have even been relatively happy with myself today...

 

[CharleyH]

I'd have gone into therapy with my current shrink at least ten years ago. Would have saved me so much pain. And who knows - I might have even been relatively happy with myself today...

Sad outlook. I am sorry you feel that way. Let me again say I would not change ONE thing. NOT ONE beautiful or horrid thing in my life because it took me where I needed to go/ be/ where I am.