If you are a parent...

[MasterPhoenix]

If this is inappropriate for this forum, I apologize in advance.

If you are a parent, I would suggest doing some research about what to do if you are approched by cps. I know that you are thinking that just being a good parent is enough to avoid them, but I know someone who got stuck in that system due to some BS and a year later they are still messing with her.

All it takes is an anonymous complaint, and they WILL investigate. They will violate civil rigts etc...

Your best bet is to educate yourself so that you will know your rights if they appear at your door.

http://fightcps.eponym.com/

http://www.paulstuckle.com/fair.aspx

I pray that this warning never has to mean anything to you

 

[Halo_n_horns]

If this is inappropriate for this forum, I apologize in advance.

If you are a parent, I would suggest doing some research about what to do if you are approched by cps. I know that you are thinking that just being a good parent is enough to avoid them, but I know someone who got stuck in that system due to some BS and a year later they are still messing with her.

All it takes is an anonymous complaint, and they WILL investigate. They will violate civil rigts etc...

Your best bet is to educate yourself so that you will know your rights if they appear at your door.

http://fightcps.eponym.com/

http://www.paulstuckle.com/fair.aspx

I pray that this warning never has to mean anything to you

This is as good a place as any to post it. Thanks for the heads up, and the concern.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

quite welcome.

I figured I should put the disclaimer on here, since I am new and am learning My way around the site.

I know that as erotica writers, and then there are those of us in 'alternitve lifestyles' as well, that the heads up would be important. I am sure that could get the CPS's interest.

I dont want to see anyone go through what the one close to Me is going through right now., and a little knowledge goes a long way.

http://fightcps.eponym.com/

 

[Pure]

question

Are your sure 'fight CPS' is a good line to take?

Seems a bit like the old 'Off the Pigs' (cops) idea.

IOW, as with cops, there are abuses, but the CPSs do some good work.
ADDED: It might be mentioned, based on Stuckle's website, that he deals most often with certain standard conflicts, where false allegations may turn up, i.e., nasty divorces.


And, around here, they seem to err** on the side of *leaving* children in abusive families, of late. It might be pointed out that all major CPS decisions, esp. the permanent ones (declaring the child a ward of the state, terminating parental rights; permanent placement with relatives or adoptive parents,etc.) go throught the courts. So where there are fuckups, the courts may well be an equally important thing to focus attention on, and 'fix.'

---
**Why do I say 'err'? Because the kid is found dead a few mos. later.

 

[Stegral]

Be Careful Please !!!

Yep... had all 3 of my kids "removed" due to allegations... 2 of them live with thier dad & I see them often (after a decade in family court), my 3rd child is also with her dad, where they are I have no clue...
CPS, CAS, CCAS, SS...different letters but they all mean the same... all of them promise to help you but trust me THEY DO NOT... they get funds from the government for every child they pull from harm...they collect GST,CTT, BB & Many other of the child related monies for the kids "in their care"

Please be careful of what you say, how you say it & who hears it...
I made a smart ass remark to the nurse removing my C-Section staples & got "red flagged"
Just as I got settled in from the hospital there was a knock at my door... 3 cops & 1 social worker... how do you say no to that kind of power? they walked away with my 4 day old & it took her father & I 18 months of battling & 2 different provinces to get her back... with a VERY STIFF price...
I asked a social worker if I signed my daughter over to her dad would they take her out of foster care...
they said yes , problem is I didn't read the fine print... I signed her over all rights... & lost ALL MY PARENTAL RIGHTS because I wanted her out of the place they had her in...there were things I just couldn't accept happening & would do anything to get her out...

My 2 teenagers are coming to terms with the "lack of Mom" now... but as I have NO contact with my 3rd I have no way of explaining anything until she finds me... all I can hope for there is that the court records I have make it until she finds me at 16 (or wait 10 more years until I can search for her when she is 18)

 

[MasterPhoenix]

WOW

My prayers are with you.

 

[wishfulthinking]

to Stegral.

I don't know what the law is over there when you sign them over. Here, you must go through the courts [separate to family court, as they won't step in until the children's court is finished] and can appeal decisions of the CPS equivalent where:

* they change foster homes
* they won't tell you where your kid's are, or
* they reduce contact/access/visitation

I represent a fair number of parents in this area and know the bullshit they pull, yet I still lean toward the "why wait until they are murdered" point of view.

 

[entitled]

You know, all you ever hear about is the bad stuff when it comes to things like this.

Good things do happen. i'm living proof, having been a ward of the state for two years. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It might have even strengthened the relationship between my dad and i.

Because of that, i have been earmarked as a potential problem, and have been investigated a few times. They were 'just checking in' on things - or so they said. They gave me a real runaround for a time. Eventually i brought in a few authorities on my side and they decided to leave us alone.

It all depends on how you live and how you treat people. Not just your children - everybody.

 

[Guest]

I actually just got through with a go-round with CFS... bah. One of my neighbors doesn't like me, my job, my religion, the fact that I weigh two hundred pounds less than her... whatever it is... this is the second time in three years she's called. This time I ended up with a decent worker (the last one got bitchy when I asked if she had kids, and just raised my eyebrows when she said no. Hey, I may have been thinking "Well that explains why you don't have a fucking clue about anything involving them," but I didn't know she was a mind reader!!!) or else I would be in jail right now for taking my kids out of the country and hiding them. I live in Florida... which if you've been watching the news for the last year or so, you'll understand why I would have shipped my kids overseas before allowing them into the social service system here.

Best bet: be polite, and keep your mouth shut. Look very solemn, and if you MUST have a nervous breakdown.. do it over a glass of wine with your best friend - AWAY from your home. That way no one can say you're anything but stable, secure and safe in the parenting department.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Glad to know I'm not the only "bad parent". I've had the pleasure of being a case number. It was ludicrous. I went through a year of torment because someone thought they were acting on my child's welfare, what they did was turn my household and our lives upside down.

 

[Guest]

Glad to know I'm not the only "bad parent". I've had the pleasure of being a case number. It was ludicrous. I went through a year of torment because someone thought they were acting on my child's welfare, what they did was turn my household and our lives upside down.

Ain't that the truth... my oldest got up three times a night, every night, went into his brothers' room and made sure they were there, came into our room, checked and made sure his parents were there, went in the yard and checked on his dog to make sure she was there, came back in and went around checking the locks on every door and window in the house, for a month. HE'S SIX!!! He was terrified that someone was going to come take his family away from him... I've stopped letting CFS workers speak to my children alone. If they won't let me sit in the room with them, I'll damn sure call my lawyer. My children's sanity is more important than the hundred and forty and hour it costs to have him there.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

It might be mentioned, based on Stuckle's website, that he deals most often with certain standard conflicts, where false allegations may turn up, i.e., nasty divorces.

False allegations turn up when there aren't nasty divorces, too. We're living proof. They ripped our family apart for nine months before "dismissing all the charges for lack of evidence." (Duh! If you'd investigated thoroughly and properly from the beginning, you would have discovered that 9 months ago!)

This institution (CPS) has a great deal of power, has full immunity (meaning, even if they falsely accuse you of something and drag you through the wringer, you can't sue them) and your rights, as a parents, are nearly nil.

In these situations, if you are accused and there is "enough evidence" that a child is being abused (often all you need is a child saying, "I was abused." Even in situations where the child has been known to make such accusations and they've proven false in the past.) They can take your children immediately. If you refuse to sign something and demand a trial, they can keep your child until the trial. Trials are often months, sometimes a year or more, into the future.

Most states don't have jury trials. They are "bench" trials... meaning one judge, someone who pretty much listens to and believes whatever CPS says. There is no clear standard of evidence, and the deliberation is based on "preponderance of the evidence" rather than "Beyond a reasonable doubt." Preponderance means if they believe you're 50% guilty, you're guilty.

I have personally been in a situation where a CPS worker actually lied, changed dates, and perjured herself in front of a judge in order to take my child. Later, she just changed the dates back. Had the documents in my hands to prove it. The charges were finally dropped, but of course, there was no recourse for us, we couldn't take this information to anyone...

For 9 months, my husband and children were separated until the charges were finally dismissed. My children had nightmares for a long time afterward, and experienced severe anxiety and PTSD symptoms after it was all over.

I would caution anyone dealing with CPS. It's not a road you want to have to travel.

Edited to add: If you are interested in finding out more about the system in general, you can check out this site:
CPS Reform
And this is a great article, it's specific to the state of Michigan, but the general principles apply, on how CPS works. FIA Game

 

[Pure]

in our city the Children's Aid Societies lean toward NOT removing children. part of the reason is the absence of places to put them, shortage of foster homes etc.

keeping families together is part of the mandate of these societies.

at the same time, I do not disbelieve the 'children's aid' abuse stories; there was a prominent 'spanking' case in this province (actually, hitting with a belt, iirc), which ultimately went in the parents favor (the children were not traumatized by the occasional spankings).

neither do i disbelieve stories about police violence, lying on the stand, etc. nor unjust (innocent) imprisonment, but those do not give the whole picture.

the old issue of 'parental assault' is popping up in these stories; there is a common exception/defense to assault charges phrased in terms of 'reasonable parental discipline'. but that is perhaps too broad an exclusion, yet I agree with some posting at the other sites, the isolated bruises are not conclusive. it is conundrum

there needs to be a definition of moderate and severe physical harm.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

thank you for the stories, everyone...

 

[Selena_Kitt]

This is an interesting article about child abuse being "confirmed" (shaken baby syndrome) by using retinal hemorrhages as proof... studies have shown that babies often have these retinal hemorrhages without having suffered abuse...

Research shows criterion for diagnosing child abuse not always accurate

 

[zeb1094]

Well, my grandchildren are still wards of the court after 2 1/2 years, false allegations against dad (my son) by mom. No proof, just allegations.

Now my granddaughter was sexually abused, confirmed by a doctor that speciallizes in detection of sexual abuse. Her younger brother claimed that mom did it. We took him to a psycologist went to court and dad was awarded custody. All of a sudden the police are draggin' him down to the station for a lie detector test and telling him he failed it and why doesn't he just confess. Mom never even took one. Long story short, he mentioned lawyer and the police stop harressing him. Close the case as unsolvable.

Two years later mom gets a court date without notifying dad and gets the kids turned over to her. She then physically abuses them and coercess them into saying dad did it. When she finally threatened to kill the kids in front of the CPS (DCFS here) they took the kids away from her.

For the past two years they have been in foster care only allowed to see dad on Satuarday for three hours and my wife and I have to supervise.

Now I know for a fact that he didn't do anything and I'm not just saying that cuz he's my kid. His Ex, I wouldn't put it past her, she is a sociopath and wouldn't know right from wrong if you hit her in the face with it.

We have another year or so to look forward too before the state gives up. So far dad has jumped throught all their hoops as he wants his children back.

This is all based on allegations by the mother. No proof.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

For the past two years they have been in foster care only allowed to see dad on Satuarday for three hours and my wife and I have to supervise.

I hear ya, Zeb... been there done that...

these stories make me physically ill...

and there are hundreds of thousands of them all over the country...

maybe I should write a book