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AMY PAGNOZZI
Kinky Find A Cause In `Paddleboro'
By AMY PAGNOZZI
The Hartford Courant
March 09, 2001
"If Wooden Spoons Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Wooden Spoons."
Bumper sticker sold by the Paddleboro Defense Fund.
Imagine you're at a kinky private party, friends and acquaintances decked in their finest fetish-wear - constraining Victorian corsets; sleek black rubber and latex; a French maid, maybe two.
You're wielding a wooden spoon, spanking a woman's bottom for all you're worth (or perhaps she's spanking you?) when suddenly the cops bust in, catching you at it.
As such "scenes" go, this one might have been ideal - but for the fact that the cops were for real and definitely NOT into it (well, probably not; I can't speak for them).
Anyhow, the arrests and charges are real:
Stefany Reed, a 38-year-old businesswoman who was a guest at the July 8 party in Attleboro, Mass., faces charges of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon - a large cooking spoon she was using to paddle a woman there.
Party host Ben Davis is in far more trouble. The 23-year-old computer consultant was arraigned on 13 counts: Operating a business without a license, assault and battery of a police officer, eight counts of possession of a dangerous weapon and accessory before the fact of an assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
The grounds for that last charge: Police say Davis had commanded Reed to spank another female guest.
The police got more than an eyeful. They are getting grief from the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a 10,000-member group whose board includes leading doctors and authors.
Meanwhile, Bondage, Discipline and Sadomasochism activists nationwide have taken up the gauntlet, perceiving that the so-called Paddleboro case may do for fetishists what the 1969 anti-police riots by transvestites and homosexuals at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village did for the gay rights movement.
The case has yet to be heard, and already $20,000 has been raised for the defense by BDSM groups linked to the paddleboro.com web site; an estimated $40,000 will be needed.
Check it out: For $5, you get the bumper sticker; for $10, a wooden spoon branded with the word Paddleboro; and for $4, a black and blue Leather Pride ribbon cinched with a red heart.
And the stuff is moving. Dominants and submissives alike are sick and tired of the vanilla community beating up on them. Vanilla? That's us - some of us.
In the eight months since the police raid, great numbers of practitioners are "coming out" about their sexuality. Even greater numbers are going out to the endless galas, charity auctions, rallies and meetings inspired by Paddleboro.
"People are very concerned that what they do consensually at a party, or even in their own home, could get [them] arrested," says Susan Wright, founder of the NCSF. It's happened before, after all.
In response, NCSF added to its board a police officer who is training people to provide seminars on what to do if cops arrive at your door during a "scene."
The NCSF also has printed guidelines for law enforcement agencies that are being employed by an increasing number of departments nationally.
In fairness, people are going to call the police in response to hearing screams or other noises. And regardless of what floats your boat, you want them to call and you want the cops to respond.
The guidelines make it easier in situations that may be nuanced to determine "what is safe, sane and consensual," says Wright.
They were written with Dr. Charles Moser, M.D., author of a book on how to treat fetish-loving patients. Similar written material exists for lawyers, therapists and other professionals, providing tips on how to give kink-friendly service. This is a rather large sexual minority we are talking about.
According to the 1990 Kinsey report, from 5 to 10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism for sexual pleasure at least occasionally.
And a more recent poll by Dr. Marty Klein, published by Playboy in 1998, found that 18 percent of the men and 20 percent of the women had used a blindfold during sex; 30 percent of the men and 32 percent of the women had tied someone up or had been tied up during sex; 49 percent of the men and 38 percent of the women had spanked or had been spanked as part of sex.
In fact, as far back as 1929 a marriage-habits survey reported that 28 percent of men and 29 percent of women admitted that they derived "pleasant thrills" from having some form of "pain" inflicted on them.
Whether this adds up to 20 million people or more engaging in some kind of BDSM activity, as the NCSF estimates, I couldn't tell you. But at last count, in 1997, there were more than 500 BDSM support groups - and that was before the Internet really exploded, its anonymity enabling many people to figure out their sexuality for the first time.
"The BDSM-Leather-Fetish communities have a long history of educating its members about the technical skills and safety issues," the Paddleboro website states.
Such parties "allow members of the community to learn and practice" under experienced guidance. Better safe than sorry, I guess, what with so many novices on the scene. Rudy Giuliani may be mayor, but you can order spankings off the menu in at least two New York restaurants and at restaurants in many other cities as well.
You think New Yorkers are different than the rest of us? Elsewhere in the country there are at least three bed and breakfast inns equipped with dungeons for that special weekend getaway without the kids.
So long as you keep it safe, sane and consensual, you should be able to stay on the right side of the law no matter which side of the paddle you're on.
--------------------------------------------
writers email is amypag@operamail.com if anyone wants to send her a letter of thanks for this article
Kinky Find A Cause In `Paddleboro'
By AMY PAGNOZZI
The Hartford Courant
March 09, 2001
"If Wooden Spoons Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Wooden Spoons."
Bumper sticker sold by the Paddleboro Defense Fund.
Imagine you're at a kinky private party, friends and acquaintances decked in their finest fetish-wear - constraining Victorian corsets; sleek black rubber and latex; a French maid, maybe two.
You're wielding a wooden spoon, spanking a woman's bottom for all you're worth (or perhaps she's spanking you?) when suddenly the cops bust in, catching you at it.
As such "scenes" go, this one might have been ideal - but for the fact that the cops were for real and definitely NOT into it (well, probably not; I can't speak for them).
Anyhow, the arrests and charges are real:
Stefany Reed, a 38-year-old businesswoman who was a guest at the July 8 party in Attleboro, Mass., faces charges of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon - a large cooking spoon she was using to paddle a woman there.
Party host Ben Davis is in far more trouble. The 23-year-old computer consultant was arraigned on 13 counts: Operating a business without a license, assault and battery of a police officer, eight counts of possession of a dangerous weapon and accessory before the fact of an assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
The grounds for that last charge: Police say Davis had commanded Reed to spank another female guest.
The police got more than an eyeful. They are getting grief from the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a 10,000-member group whose board includes leading doctors and authors.
Meanwhile, Bondage, Discipline and Sadomasochism activists nationwide have taken up the gauntlet, perceiving that the so-called Paddleboro case may do for fetishists what the 1969 anti-police riots by transvestites and homosexuals at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village did for the gay rights movement.
The case has yet to be heard, and already $20,000 has been raised for the defense by BDSM groups linked to the paddleboro.com web site; an estimated $40,000 will be needed.
Check it out: For $5, you get the bumper sticker; for $10, a wooden spoon branded with the word Paddleboro; and for $4, a black and blue Leather Pride ribbon cinched with a red heart.
And the stuff is moving. Dominants and submissives alike are sick and tired of the vanilla community beating up on them. Vanilla? That's us - some of us.
In the eight months since the police raid, great numbers of practitioners are "coming out" about their sexuality. Even greater numbers are going out to the endless galas, charity auctions, rallies and meetings inspired by Paddleboro.
"People are very concerned that what they do consensually at a party, or even in their own home, could get [them] arrested," says Susan Wright, founder of the NCSF. It's happened before, after all.
In response, NCSF added to its board a police officer who is training people to provide seminars on what to do if cops arrive at your door during a "scene."
The NCSF also has printed guidelines for law enforcement agencies that are being employed by an increasing number of departments nationally.
In fairness, people are going to call the police in response to hearing screams or other noises. And regardless of what floats your boat, you want them to call and you want the cops to respond.
The guidelines make it easier in situations that may be nuanced to determine "what is safe, sane and consensual," says Wright.
They were written with Dr. Charles Moser, M.D., author of a book on how to treat fetish-loving patients. Similar written material exists for lawyers, therapists and other professionals, providing tips on how to give kink-friendly service. This is a rather large sexual minority we are talking about.
According to the 1990 Kinsey report, from 5 to 10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism for sexual pleasure at least occasionally.
And a more recent poll by Dr. Marty Klein, published by Playboy in 1998, found that 18 percent of the men and 20 percent of the women had used a blindfold during sex; 30 percent of the men and 32 percent of the women had tied someone up or had been tied up during sex; 49 percent of the men and 38 percent of the women had spanked or had been spanked as part of sex.
In fact, as far back as 1929 a marriage-habits survey reported that 28 percent of men and 29 percent of women admitted that they derived "pleasant thrills" from having some form of "pain" inflicted on them.
Whether this adds up to 20 million people or more engaging in some kind of BDSM activity, as the NCSF estimates, I couldn't tell you. But at last count, in 1997, there were more than 500 BDSM support groups - and that was before the Internet really exploded, its anonymity enabling many people to figure out their sexuality for the first time.
"The BDSM-Leather-Fetish communities have a long history of educating its members about the technical skills and safety issues," the Paddleboro website states.
Such parties "allow members of the community to learn and practice" under experienced guidance. Better safe than sorry, I guess, what with so many novices on the scene. Rudy Giuliani may be mayor, but you can order spankings off the menu in at least two New York restaurants and at restaurants in many other cities as well.
You think New Yorkers are different than the rest of us? Elsewhere in the country there are at least three bed and breakfast inns equipped with dungeons for that special weekend getaway without the kids.
So long as you keep it safe, sane and consensual, you should be able to stay on the right side of the law no matter which side of the paddle you're on.
--------------------------------------------
writers email is amypag@operamail.com if anyone wants to send her a letter of thanks for this article
