If only men marked their territory like Jack Russell terriers.

[shereads]

Assume for a moment that all male mammals have a need to own and defend territory.

Spend a few hours at the dog park, and you'll see all but the most decrepit adult male pooches racing from fencepost to tree in a desperate effort to disprove each other's claims on the park property by marking the territory with pee. Evidently dogs accept on faith that He Who Pees On This Spot Most Recently, Owns It. The futility of it escapes them, because they're suffering from dehydration and can't think clearly.

As soon as today's Alpha rottwieler can no longer pee even one more drop of territory-marker and has to go find water, a Beta poodle or chihuahua arrives with a full bladder and declares himself master of the domain.

Can't you human males think of something equally harmless? If not butt-sniffing and urine-marking, how about leaving claw marks on tree bark, like bears?

 

[Guest]

Thank you, Sher, I look forward to the ripostes here. My 3-1/2 lb. cute-as-a-button bunny also pees to mark his spaces (my sofa, certain corners about the flat, my bed, my wool slippers, etc.) I guess it's just one more universal crappy male thingy.

Perdita

 

[rgraham666]

Does this mean sher, that if I decided you were my property and I pissed on you, you would just take it in stride?

I didn't think so.

Just as well. Women ain't property and I would have no regard for one who was willing to be property.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I just leave post it notes that say "Mine!!!!!!"

 

[raphy]

I just leave post it notes that say "Mine!!!!!!"

Do you pee on the notes before you post 'em up, Abs?

 

[cantdog]

Re: If only men

Assume for a moment that all male mammals have a need to own and defend territory.


<snipping some good writing here>

Can't you human males think of something equally harmless? If not butt-sniffing and urine-marking, how about leaving claw marks on tree bark, like bears?

I can't imagine what the problem is.

Did you throw out someone's comic book collection?

cantdog

sniffing a bit o butt

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Do you pee on the notes before you post 'em up, Abs?

Yes.

 

[raphy]

Yes.

*sniff, sniff*

 

[ABSTRUSE]

*sniff, sniff*

 

[Guest]

What if men could lick their balls, just like dogs do, would the internet be a much quieter place?

Lou

 

[Guest]

Loulou, I am sooooooooooooooo on the floor. Gawd, I love the way your mind works. P.

 

[cantdog]

The fantasy of non-sentient males recurs.

We're all here for each other. That, and not the hokey-pokey, is what it's all about.

It doesn't make the dogs any quieter.

 

[Guest]

Loulou, I am sooooooooooooooo on the floor. Gawd, I love the way your mind works. P.

Hehehe!

VERY pleased to have got that reaction.

I'm off out now, dog training of all places.

Lou

 

[Remec]

<shaking head>

What if men could lick their balls, just like dogs do, would the internet be a much quieter place?

Not really.

There'd just be a different sort of bragging and boasting and stretching of the truth going on in chat rooms and mesage forums, that's all. <g>

(oh, and what's now a pretty much niche genre of personal photos would get closer to mainstream hehehe)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Do you pee on the notes before you post 'em up, Abs?

I would be sooooooooo much happier right now if I hadn't opened up this thread.

 

[raphy]

I would be sooooooooo much happier right now if I hadn't opened up this thread.

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt there, somewhere, CD

 

[MathGirl]

Assume for a moment that all male mammals have a need to own and defend territory.

Dear Shere,
I think that's true. My father is a lifelong backyard pisser. I never asked him why; it's just something he does.
MG
Ps. Dad sure grows great bouganvilla.

 

[raphy]

The fantasy of non-sentient males recurs.

We're all here for each other. That, and not the hokey-pokey, is what it's all about.

It doesn't make the dogs any quieter.

Think you're falling on deaf ears, cantdog.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt there, somewhere, CD

Too bad I'm such a slow learner...

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... Can't you human males think of something equally harmless? If not butt-sniffing and urine-marking, how about leaving claw marks on tree bark, like bears?

“Get outta my chair!”

“Do you own it?”

“Yeah!”

”TAKE IT OUTSIDE IN THE ALLEY, GUYS!”


Bad idea! Bad, BAD, BAD idea!

This place smells enough like a urinal as it is!

And just what do you think all that urine does to the trees?

My cat (manly little duffer that he is) sprayed both of my stereo speakers. Two months later, I had to replace the foam baffle covers.

Like sulphuric acid, the stuff is, I believe.

 

[raphy]

Can't you human males think of something equally harmless? If not butt-sniffing and urine-marking, how about leaving claw marks on tree bark, like bears?

I have to admit though, I'm confused as to the point of this.

Why do we human males need to think of something equally harmless? Or are you saying that we already do mark our territory but we do it in a harmful way?

You mean - Can't we think of something equally harmless, as opposed to the means we currently use.... Which would we be what?

 

[Guest]

Hey, raph, lighten up. Haven't you been here long enough to tell a silly thread from a serious one?

P.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

this thread makes me hafta pee.

 

[raphy]

Oh, I understood it as being silly. You'll note I was silly on it earlier

I'm still confused though.. (Not that I wasn't confused earlier, I just ignored it earlier)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

this thread makes me hafta pee.

Got a post-it note handy?