If my Life were a Porn Movie

[Lordmikel]

So I mentioned this idea to SaucyMinx who suggested I post it here.

Ever go and do something and have it be just a dud?

For example, during vacation last weekend, I went downstairs to use the hot tub during the "Adult" late night swim time.

No one was there, and nothing exciting happened.

But if my life were a porn movie, a raven haired goddess would have sat next to me in the hot tub.

So I thought that might make for an interesting series of stories or a challenge for writers. Doing a brief explanation of the reality, and then continue on as if "Your life was in a porn movie."

 

[Elenia26]

Yes, and then your girlfriend would walk in. But she wouldn't get mad, more than a second anyway. She'd crawl in with you, and the two of them would start servicing you. And they'd want you to slap your cock against their asses. Then you'd stand up to get a blowjob and put your hands on your hips. Oh, and they'd both be wearing high heels.

 

[Texguy84]

Let us not forget the sound track by Pornosonic.

 

[sirhugs]

my life would never be a porn movie. More like one of those Spanish subtitle jobbies where everyone dies at the end, except one person with really tragic eyes. The last shot closes in tight to show a single tear.....

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If your life were like a porn movie, you'd fuck the porn star in the ass without a condom and your gf would immediately want to suck your cock straight from her ass.

 

[bisexplicit]

If my life was a porn movie, I'd be obligated to blow every guy who delivered pizza.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If my life were like a porn movie, I would be fucking my slave, and the landlady's 21 year old daughter would walk in and beg me to give HER a turn. I would make her beg for a while, just to assert my power, then I would fuck her while she ate my slave out and cleaned my cum from my slave's pussy. Then I would let my slave fuck her roughly (that's right, my slave is a switch). Then I would fuck both of them in the ass.
After that point, every time that she visited, I would get to fuck and dominate her, as well as fucking and dominating my slave, and letting my slave fuck and dominate her too (lesbian bondage turns me on a lot).

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If my life was a porn movie, I'd be obligated to blow every guy who delivered pizza.

LMAO. And eat every girl, since you're bi, and there is a lot of lesbo stuff in porn.

 

[Recidiva]

If I were in a porn movie, I'd be looking at my lover like he were a big, fat paycheck.

 

[bisexplicit]

LMAO. And eat every girl, since you're bi, and there is a lot of lesbo stuff in porn.

True, even though some people (*cough, Sean Renaud, cough*) think lesbian porn is boring.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

True, even though some people (*cough, Sean Renaud, cough*) think lesbian porn is being.

Too bad for him. Just picking on ya, Sean!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

If I were in a porn movie, I'd be looking at my lover like he were a big, fat paycheck.

Huh? Btw, that AV keeps reminding me of Jeanne Tripplehorn for some reason.

 

[Recidiva]

Huh? Btw, that AV keeps reminding me of Jeanne Tripplehorn for some reason.

Sorry, a lot of the porn I've seen usually involves guys who look like they're really gay and thinking about the key grip, and the women have the passion of someone hearing "cha-ching!" in the back of their minds while they wait for it to be over.

Not very good acting, anyway.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Sorry, a lot of the porn I've seen usually involves guys who look like they're really gay and thinking about the key grip, and the women have the passion of someone hearing "cha-ching!" in the back of their minds while they wait for it to be over.

Not very good acting, anyway.

Ah....that sucks. I much prefer porn where the girls are clearly enjoying it....and so are the guys....

 

[Recidiva]

Ah....that sucks. I much prefer porn where the girls are clearly enjoying it....and so are the guys....

I'd prefer that too! If you find it, let me know!

 

[bisexplicit]

Ah....that sucks. I much prefer porn where the girls are clearly enjoying it....and so are the guys....

People enjoying sex. Like that could happen!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

People enjoying sex. Like that could happen!

LMAO. This "grudge fuck" one called "Hurts So Good" seems pretty hot. Kind of a movie that features rough sex.

 

[Recidiva]

People enjoying sex. Like that could happen!

It's just harder than it usually looks, or there wouldn't be such a thing as a "Fluffer"

 

[Recidiva]

LMAO. This "grudge fuck" one called "Hurts So Good" seems pretty hot. Kind of a movie that features rough sex.

LOL!

Well, there's a scene in "A History of Violence" where I'm watching that thinking "back trouble"

Damned if in the special features section she's not limping off the set in distress saying "I felt that"

 

[bisexplicit]

If my life was a porn movie...

...I'd have badly done breast implants.

...I'd have a great name like "Lucy Licksalot."

...monogamy would be a thing of the past.

...doctors visits and going to class would suddenly become much more fun.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

...I'd have badly done breast implants.

...I'd have a great name like "Lucy Licksalot."

...monogamy would be a thing of the past.

...doctors visits and going to class would suddenly become much more fun.

LMAO. Well, on the third one, my life is very much like a porn movie. Monogamy was an experiment for me. I eventually learned that it was for other people.

 

[rydia57]

Well, if my life were like a porn movie.... well besides all the snuggling and just sleeping together I wouldn't get to do, all the guys would be well hung, probably nine or ten inch dongs... I wouldn't get to have any anal sex, cos I'm sure they'd all be about maybe 1.5 maybe 2 inches in diameter... I'd lose alot. But I'd have at least five guys servciing me at the same time. Even trade?

 

[Texguy84]

Well, if my life were like a porn movie.... well besides all the snuggling and just sleeping together I wouldn't get to do, all the guys would be well hung, probably nine or ten inch dongs... I wouldn't get to have any anal sex, cos I'm sure they'd all be about maybe 1.5 maybe 2 inches in diameter... I'd lose alot. But I'd have at least five guys servciing me at the same time. Even trade?

Wait, why wouldn't you be able to have anal sex? Don't you realize that in the world of porn, rediculously large objects can be inserted into normally tiny spaces?

I'm pretty sure porn stars somehow use Hammer Space for this (anime reference).

 

[sirhugs]

......monogamy would be a thing of the past.

isn't it already?

I just read an article that says 80% of spouses cheat.....

 

[noxiousblonde]

If my life was a porn movie, I'd be obligated to blow every guy who delivered pizza.

You mean you're not sposed to do that?