If Men Really Ruled The World

[Dillinger]

• Speaking solely in Clint Eastwood quotes would count as "opening up."
• Brassieres could be unclasped by gently blowing on them.
• When women climaxed, they'd make a noise like a pinball machine.
• Birth control would come in ale or lager.
• In order to expedite the sleeping together part, eye contact would count as a first date.
• At any time, and for any reason, you'd be allowed to build a campfire in your office.
• Every office memo would require, as a cover sheet, a photocopy of the author's ass.
• "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
• At the end of the workday, a whistle would sound and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flinstone.

 

[Dillinger]

• Garbage would take itself out.
• Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
• Easy chairs would give hand jobs.

 

[shyybabe]

More men thoughts

How do you know that God is a man?


Cause if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!

 

[lilminx]

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.


I'm female and I would LOVE it if that could be used as an excuse

 

[morninggirl5]

Re: More men thoughts

How do you know that God is a man?


Cause if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!

And bras and pantyhose wouldn't exist.

 

[chanaud]

• Brassieres could be unclasped by gently blowing on them.

I would think that brassieres would be extinct.

 

[Southern37]

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.


I'm female and I would LOVE it if that could be used as an excuse

OMG...its not an acceptable excuse?...damn ive been fucking up!

 

[Nobody Special's wife]

Some of these men are watching too much SPACE BALLS......AND ORGASMO

 

[Dillinger]

How movies would change if men really ruled the world:

The Bridges of Madison County would have been The F-14s of Madison County.

The English Patient would have been The French Maid.

The Horse Whisperer would have been The Horse Juggler... With a Gun.

City of Angels would have been City of Charlie's Angels

 

[Barb Dwyer]

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop : "Nice one, That's $10.00 off".

People would never talk about how fresh they felt.

Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers

It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

 

[lilminx]

Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.

Shit-they're out of style? Uh, gotta go do some closet cleaning...

 

[Southern37]

Shit-they're out of style? Uh, gotta go do some closet cleaning...

trust me...daisy duke shorts NEVER go out of style.....as long as you have a nice butt!

 

[lilminx]

trust me...daisy duke shorts NEVER go out of style.....as long as you have a nice butt!

Hmmmm... better legs than butt... sorry...

 

[Southern37]

Hmmmm... better legs than butt... sorry...

so what your telling me is...you have great legs..right?...based on your closet....

 

[pabloback]

all women would be bi curious nymphos into 3somes
pussy would taste like ribeye
not on a first date meant forever picking up the tab
mud wrestling was an olympic sport

 

[lilminx]

so what your telling me is...you have great legs..right?...based on your closet....

Lol- I've gotten more than my fair share of compliments on them...

 

[Domcop]

legs

show us your legs.
pppplllleeaaaaassssseeeee!!!!!!
great story lil- i have to admit that i shpanked the monkey to it.
write us another one.

 

[cuz cracker]

"legs"

lilminx, if men say you have great legs that means you have a nice ass to go with it!

pic's please? pppppppppllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee?

 

[Domcop]

ass too

yea yea yea yea
let's see your ass too lilminx!!!
pretty please????? we will be your best friends in the hole (hahaha) wide world.

 

[lilminx]

Re: "legs"

lilminx, if men say you have great legs that means you have a nice ass to go with it!

pic's please? pppppppppllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee?

Lol- my pics are in the uploads thread...