If any of these pickup lines work, pm me. (M, 50s)

[jsmiam]

If any of these work, make you chuckle, (EDIT: barf,) or make you say, "wtf?", then you have to pm me. If both, then it'll require a bikini pic.

I’m male, married, pretty well kept, and somewhere between 48 and 62 (hint. It isn’t (48 + 62) / 2 = 55). Looking for a compatible (another hint: this means "laughs at my jokes" and has something in common with me) person, long term, but still just for a fun diversion, to chat with via pm, email, and now and then real time (telegram, Skype chat, with the occasional moment where the stars align and there's time/ability for voice or video). Regarding being available all the time/any time, that'd be fun and I love when those opportunities arise (I said "arise!" Huh Huh), but real life interrupts, doesn’t it? As long as you understand, we’ll get along fine.

If any of these pickup lines work on you, make you laugh, or make you say WTF, you should pm me.

1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
2. Come sit in my lap. We’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.
3. Uhhh. Huh huh. Like, hey baby.
4. Wanna see something swell?
5. {{pulling your collar back gingerly so I can read the tag...}} “Just as I thought. ‘Made in heaven.’”
6. Wanna see something swell?
7. You’ve been a bad girl. Now go to my room.

There will of course, be copycats and threadjackers. That’s fine I suppose. If somebody earns your PM they deserve it. But remember, it's the original you want to PM. Me.

 

[jsmiam]

Bumping with "Do you have a map? Because I've gotten lost in your eyes..." Notice the edit too, you should also PM if this makes you barf.

 

[bimwiguy1963]

You're so hot, I'd suck you daddies cock to see where you came from!!

 

[BunnyBlue_]

Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night

 

[JohnsonLongwood]

Every girl knows what pick up lines like that mean and they know just what you believe the role of women in the world is when they hear them. They've heard them before and they've learned to "raise the shields" when they hear them.

I prefer something like, "Those are really interesting earrings. I've never seen anything like them. Tell me about them". During the subsequent conversation (there always is one) it's easy to follow up with something like "And they compliment your natural beauty so well!" It always pleases, never offends.

 

[talkeasy5813]

The first pick up line I ever heard was probably the cutest/sweetest one. He said, “I bet you’re even prettier when you smile.” At which point I blushed and smiled. He didn’t miss a beat and his face lit up, “I knew I was right!”

 

[LinusRules]

Every girl knows what pick up lines like that mean and they know just what you believe the role of women in the world is when they hear them. They've heard them before and they've learned to "raise the shields" when they hear them.

I prefer something like, "Those are really interesting earrings. I've never seen anything like them. Tell me about them". During the subsequent conversation (there always is one) it's easy to follow up with something like "And they compliment your natural beauty so well!" It always pleases, never offends.

What’s that saying?…funny guys will make you laugh and laugh and laugh, and then boom, you’re naked in bed.

I think that was more what the OP was going for.

 

[JohnsonLongwood]

What’s that saying?…funny guys will make you laugh and laugh and laugh, and then boom, you’re naked in bed.

I think that was more what the OP was going for.

Many good salesmen start their day with the intention of getting one hundred people to say no to their sales pitch. By the time a hundred people say no a few will have said yes and made his quota for the day. Pickup lines are like those sales pitches - if you say use them 100 times you might get lucky a few times. Flirting, done well, is like bunting your way onto first base every time (almost).

 

[jsmiam]

The double misdirect:

“Do you have a map? Because I’ve gotten lost in your eyes.”

Then, if she doesn’t barf: “Excellent! A strong gag reflex!”

See post number 1. Happy Friday!

 

[jsmiam]

“I know this sounds cheesy, but I think you're the gratest.”

 

[MidnightRyder007]

Almost as bad as "are your pants from NASA, cause your ass is outta site"

 

[Dapperguy]

I find the straightforward: “Time to Fuck”, works for me.

 

[jsmiam]

Almost as bad as "are your pants from NASA, cause your ass is outta site"

Bad? What?? ;-)

 

[MidnightRyder007]

Dude....really?

 

[DuvessaNight]

If a man has the confidence to come up to me and use a cheesy pick up line, I think it’s hilarious and would take it in stride.

Good luck!

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

My favorite pick up line is asking men, "Truth or dare?"

That is a good one!

 

[jsmiam]

That is a good one!

Agreed. I felt like I was in a movie scene, a girl responded, then I sat there going “uhhhhh” not knowing what to do. A dearth of responses! ;-)

Fine. Truth, no promises here in public though. And, I may have to lie.

 

[vibes]

My favorite pick up line is asking men, "Truth or dare?"

I wonder what the ratio of the replies is

 

[vibes]

people tend to think words are less dangerous than deeds *shrugs*

 

[elizaloo]

Heard a corny pickup line today on TV - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Maybe you could add that one to your list @jsmiam

 

[muddler35]

My favorite

Do you have a wrench? Just looking at you is making my nuts tight.

 

[Dapperguy]

What about this one: Tell me this. What are you going to do for a face, when King Kong wants his arse back? That gets the conversation going. It's a tricky one.

 

[MsSuckMyLollipop]

If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one.....

 

[jsmiam]

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by you again?

 

[Biggalute]

Do you like cheese? Good because I'm an easy single.

(Easy singles are individually wrapped square pieces of cheese where I live )