Idiot Professor Stories
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Bindii
Literotica Guru
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I remember when I was in high school our science teacher was always trying to discover something new.....aspirations I suppose, you know the frustrated science teacher 'I could have been a discoverer if I didn't have to teach these ignorant children'.
Anyway one day he was late for class, we couldn't get into the lab as it was kept locked (probably to stop the boys from blowing up the school). We were bored and some of us girls started picking Frangipani flowers (which have a hollow stem) and sliding them onto the Hibiscus bush.
Our teacher arrived and spotted the Hibiscus bush with the Fragipani flowers on it and started to get excited. He sent us into class to read a text book and promptly disapeared. It turned out he went to the office and phoned the museum to verify his 'new discovery'. Needless to say the museum fellow after looking at the tree had to break the news to our poor teacher that it was a hoax. BTW the 'hoax' was innocent we didn't think for a minute when we were replacing the flowers that anyone would think that they were actually gowing there!
This was the same teacher that managed to get left behind at the Botanical gardens after a school excursion......but thats another story.
Anyway one day he was late for class, we couldn't get into the lab as it was kept locked (probably to stop the boys from blowing up the school). We were bored and some of us girls started picking Frangipani flowers (which have a hollow stem) and sliding them onto the Hibiscus bush.
Our teacher arrived and spotted the Hibiscus bush with the Fragipani flowers on it and started to get excited. He sent us into class to read a text book and promptly disapeared. It turned out he went to the office and phoned the museum to verify his 'new discovery'. Needless to say the museum fellow after looking at the tree had to break the news to our poor teacher that it was a hoax. BTW the 'hoax' was innocent we didn't think for a minute when we were replacing the flowers that anyone would think that they were actually gowing there!
This was the same teacher that managed to get left behind at the Botanical gardens after a school excursion......but thats another story.
APhil
Literotica Guru
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How about this one?
I just took a final for my Physical Science class today.
He said "The test is not difficult, some of the questions are common knowledge, some are from the book. It has 25 questions. You should finish it in about 1 minute."
We were all confused until we saw the test. The answers to the multiple choice questions were all A, and the +/- questions (T/F) were all +. As a matter of fact, question 25 was "All of the above answers were either A or +, and should reflect my grade on this exam."
It was enjoyable, but I expected better from him.
I just took a final for my Physical Science class today.
He said "The test is not difficult, some of the questions are common knowledge, some are from the book. It has 25 questions. You should finish it in about 1 minute."
We were all confused until we saw the test. The answers to the multiple choice questions were all A, and the +/- questions (T/F) were all +. As a matter of fact, question 25 was "All of the above answers were either A or +, and should reflect my grade on this exam."
It was enjoyable, but I expected better from him.
Problem Child
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I went to an agricultural college and majored in ag. I was enrolled in a vegetable production class, and one day we were in a field lab. The instructor was a snotty preppy type, fresh in with his ph.D from Cornell (hi lexie!) and was very smug about all his book-learnin' (yuk-yuk!).
Anyway, he was proceeding to give a demonstration in how to do maintenance on a tractor before using it in the field to demonstrate various feild cultivation practices. He was going through the various controls, safety features, and then got around to explaining how to check the fluid levels in the tractor.
Now, this is an upper division undergraduate class. Mostly juniors and seniors, and everyone in there was either from a farming background, or had had much experience with farm machinery. He checks the fuel, the radiator, and then gets to the crankcase oil level.
He is talking us all through it and says "Now to check the oil level you need to pull out the...umm...er...umm this oil probe thingy."
People snickered. He turned red. He turned around and looked for me. "Mr. *****, what do you call this?"
I smirked at him and uttered one word.
"Dipstick."
Howls of laughter followed. He hated me after that.
Anyway, he was proceeding to give a demonstration in how to do maintenance on a tractor before using it in the field to demonstrate various feild cultivation practices. He was going through the various controls, safety features, and then got around to explaining how to check the fluid levels in the tractor.
Now, this is an upper division undergraduate class. Mostly juniors and seniors, and everyone in there was either from a farming background, or had had much experience with farm machinery. He checks the fuel, the radiator, and then gets to the crankcase oil level.
He is talking us all through it and says "Now to check the oil level you need to pull out the...umm...er...umm this oil probe thingy."
People snickered. He turned red. He turned around and looked for me. "Mr. *****, what do you call this?"
I smirked at him and uttered one word.
"Dipstick."
Howls of laughter followed. He hated me after that.
Cheyenne
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Does high school count?
I had a teacher for economics who was usually very good, but there was a teacher's strike my senior year. Once they were back in the classroom, they were still on a slowdown in work to protest something or other.
He knew my dad was a union person, as I had done a presentation on unions in that class. Because I went to school during the strike and didn't stay home, he told me I was a "scab." In front of the whole class. I explained I was there for an education - picket lines weren't something students should be expected to honor.
That teacher decided to give us our quiz that day with an open book (which he never did) policy. I was stubborn even back then and refused to use the book. I needed to prove I could learn in spite of him so I made sure my books were closed and under my chair, where they should have been.
I can't really think of any particulary horrible college professors I had, unless you count the Indian guy who barely spoke English. I'm sure he was brilliant in calculus, but you couldn't prove it by any of us in his class. We had NO idea what the man was saying. The teaching assistant was just as bad.
I had a teacher for economics who was usually very good, but there was a teacher's strike my senior year. Once they were back in the classroom, they were still on a slowdown in work to protest something or other.
He knew my dad was a union person, as I had done a presentation on unions in that class. Because I went to school during the strike and didn't stay home, he told me I was a "scab." In front of the whole class. I explained I was there for an education - picket lines weren't something students should be expected to honor.
That teacher decided to give us our quiz that day with an open book (which he never did) policy. I was stubborn even back then and refused to use the book. I needed to prove I could learn in spite of him so I made sure my books were closed and under my chair, where they should have been.
I can't really think of any particulary horrible college professors I had, unless you count the Indian guy who barely spoke English. I'm sure he was brilliant in calculus, but you couldn't prove it by any of us in his class. We had NO idea what the man was saying. The teaching assistant was just as bad.
RisiaSkye
Artistic
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I once had a Theatre professor who was so old that he actually had a theater on campus named after him: The Clifford E. White Theater. He had to be 80 if he was a day, and his mind was all but gone. The school had been trying to get him to retire for years, with no luck. God bless Tenure, eh?
Sometimes, he'd show up. Sometimes, not so much.
We had three scheduled performances of interp pieces per person. I gave two different pieces during the semester. One he forgot about. But, I guess it all evened up: one of them, I had to give twice, because he forgot that I had done it, and then didn't believe me--or the rest of the class. Mind you, I gave it twice on the same day.
On the upside, you could miss class, tell him you were there, and totally get away with it. He'd never know the difference anyway.
Sometimes, he'd show up. Sometimes, not so much.
We had three scheduled performances of interp pieces per person. I gave two different pieces during the semester. One he forgot about. But, I guess it all evened up: one of them, I had to give twice, because he forgot that I had done it, and then didn't believe me--or the rest of the class. Mind you, I gave it twice on the same day.
On the upside, you could miss class, tell him you were there, and totally get away with it. He'd never know the difference anyway.
enjoyingitall
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I sure hope none of my former students post at lit...I don't wanna see myself in one of these stories. 
G
Guest
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Oh, I'll let you take this one. You started the thread.lavender said:
Aphrodisiac
doing laundry
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I don't think ... I have had the honors of having " idiot" professors.
But my Bio chemistry professor was very laid back - his exams would ALWAYS have questions that were so totally wrong or he had so many typos in them , so he would give us free points for every mistake we spotted ...
Any time we would be doing experiments , and we would use sulfur , he would tell it was the sign of the devil. Whenever the smell of sulfur surfaced in our labs we would all yell out and announce that the devil was in class.
Towards the end of the semester he would throw the biggest party @ his house, with all the beer, drinks and food you could think of ...
But my Bio chemistry professor was very laid back - his exams would ALWAYS have questions that were so totally wrong or he had so many typos in them , so he would give us free points for every mistake we spotted ...
Any time we would be doing experiments , and we would use sulfur , he would tell it was the sign of the devil. Whenever the smell of sulfur surfaced in our labs we would all yell out and announce that the devil was in class.
Towards the end of the semester he would throw the biggest party @ his house, with all the beer, drinks and food you could think of ...
Mischka
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You're an Aggie?!Problem Child said:
I have a professor story a brewin' (it'll be ready after the final on Friday - I'll race lavy to post it), but I have a funny quip about a football coach/U.S. history teacher from junior high. He was an all around nice guy, but he was a far better instructor on the field than in the classroom.
Once week he decided we needed to memorize the Preamble to the Constitution. The back wall of the classroom had the Preamble blown up in 400 point lettering, so it was pretty obvious where he got the inspiration. The day we were to recite the Preamble, he positioned his chair with his back to the poster and made us stand in front of the class, facing him and the poster. Needless to say, not a single student missed a word.
Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
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my idiot professor story is kinda strange, yet humorous.
the guy was an older man, rather short, balding, and had a rather thick german accent. well, he always wore the same thing almost every day to class (it was a multivariable calculus class) and during lecture, he would start to sweat. and he would keep on sweating to the point where his shirt was practically dripping with it. and while he was lecturing, some of his sweat would drip onto the overhead and he would always say 'i ahvent the slightest idea where all this water is coming from' and the whole class (mind you, there's about 200 people in this lecture) bursts out laughing cuz we all know. and then he threatens to leave class because we're all laughing. and when this started happening pretty much every day, he would just keep on lecturing, and we would hear 'blah blah blah, no talking, blah blah blah' and continue doing our homeowrk that was due at the end of class..
the guy was an older man, rather short, balding, and had a rather thick german accent. well, he always wore the same thing almost every day to class (it was a multivariable calculus class) and during lecture, he would start to sweat. and he would keep on sweating to the point where his shirt was practically dripping with it. and while he was lecturing, some of his sweat would drip onto the overhead and he would always say 'i ahvent the slightest idea where all this water is coming from' and the whole class (mind you, there's about 200 people in this lecture) bursts out laughing cuz we all know. and then he threatens to leave class because we're all laughing. and when this started happening pretty much every day, he would just keep on lecturing, and we would hear 'blah blah blah, no talking, blah blah blah' and continue doing our homeowrk that was due at the end of class..
kotori
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And now we see how it all began . . .Problem Child said:
The most annoying professor I had as an undergrad (and one of the best) was this Jesuit who was a stickler for attendance. After three absences, he lowered your grade by .5 for each miss. I tired to argue that merely being present was not an indicator of how much was learned (the point of a grade?), but he wouldn't budge. Not funny, sorry.
Odd thing is, he's the only professor I still keep in regular contact with, now almost 24-years since graduation.
daedalos
Really Experienced
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My advisor and favorite history professor as an undergrad had a habit of clipping his finger nails in the middle of lecture. He would be settling into his lecture, say about ten minutes into class, and then he would fish his nail clippers out of his pocket, hold his hand out plam down, look at his finger nails, and then start clipping, all the while continuing with his lecture. What made this humorous, of course, is that inevitably a clipping would go flying across the room and often as not hit someone!
One day my room-mate and I were sitting towards the front of the class, and Prof. X began clipping his nails as usual. Suddenly my room-mate got hit in the forehead with a flying clipping. A whole group of us sitting around him spent the rest of the class trying to control our laughter. The amazing thing is that Prof. X never seemed to realize what had happened -- and these kind of episodes happened other times as well -- or at least he ignored it.
One day my room-mate and I were sitting towards the front of the class, and Prof. X began clipping his nails as usual. Suddenly my room-mate got hit in the forehead with a flying clipping. A whole group of us sitting around him spent the rest of the class trying to control our laughter. The amazing thing is that Prof. X never seemed to realize what had happened -- and these kind of episodes happened other times as well -- or at least he ignored it.
daedalos
Really Experienced
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enjoyingitall said:I sure hope none of my former students post at lit...I don't wanna see myself in one of these stories.
Hmmm... good point. Of course, you could always check to see if you have been rated at one of the following sites:
ratemyprofessors.com
ratemyteachers.com
depending on whether you are highschool or university faculty.
I have not been rated yet; don't know if that is good or bad...
sexy-girl
sacrilegious
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mines not so funny but still very much an idiot
for my mock exams i'd suffered being very ill before hand and i missed tons of school that year so i was far behind but i was doing my best to catch up basically having to study on my own
anyway i actually got the best score in the whole school in biology (my other exams were ok scores too)
i was shocked myself that i got the best score in biology although it just was a mock exam they are still pretty important when i saw the teacher again after missing some more time with being ill at the end of the class he told me my score (all my classmates had already told me i had the best score) so i just kind of said oh but he said we both know that you couldn't of got that score fairly with missing as much school as you did
i just stood there dumbfounded really and didn't say a word i WISH that i put him in his place and went to the headmaster because that really upset me and made me very dishearten with the whole school system and wondering what the point of studying hard was ... lucky enough i got my act together and i did get a good result in the final exam not best in school but i was still very happy with it
for my mock exams i'd suffered being very ill before hand and i missed tons of school that year so i was far behind but i was doing my best to catch up basically having to study on my own
anyway i actually got the best score in the whole school in biology (my other exams were ok scores too)
i was shocked myself that i got the best score in biology although it just was a mock exam they are still pretty important when i saw the teacher again after missing some more time with being ill at the end of the class he told me my score (all my classmates had already told me i had the best score) so i just kind of said oh but he said we both know that you couldn't of got that score fairly with missing as much school as you did
i just stood there dumbfounded really and didn't say a word i WISH that i put him in his place and went to the headmaster because that really upset me and made me very dishearten with the whole school system and wondering what the point of studying hard was ... lucky enough i got my act together and i did get a good result in the final exam not best in school but i was still very happy with it
Hamletmaschine
This space for rent
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Oooooh, yes, let's share stupid professor stories. Must be final exam time or something.
But I've got one: Tell me what kind of German professor would wear his hair and moustache in the exact style of Adolf Hitler!? One of mine did. I mean, that couldn't have been an accident, could it? And why did he have to bring his Eva Braun look-alike wife to class with him? I'm not kidding. I was grateful that he didn't make us sing Deutschland über Alles at the beginning of each class, but still....
But I've got one: Tell me what kind of German professor would wear his hair and moustache in the exact style of Adolf Hitler!? One of mine did. I mean, that couldn't have been an accident, could it? And why did he have to bring his Eva Braun look-alike wife to class with him? I'm not kidding. I was grateful that he didn't make us sing Deutschland über Alles at the beginning of each class, but still....
Hope I don't read about myself on this thread!
As an undergraduate English major, I had to take both Brit Lit survey courses. The first one went from Beowulf to the late 1700s; the second one started with Romantic poetry and prose. On the first day of my Brit Lit II class, the prof talked about Beowulf for 45 minutes before anyone told him he was teaching the wrong class! Apparently this guy still pulls these kinds of stunts--he even forgot to show up for a final exam.
Another prof. at the same university (history dept.) uses his nasal spray in the middle of lectures. Fortunately, I missed out on that one.
Now I teach part-time at this same university, so I work alongside the people I've just mentioned.
As an undergraduate English major, I had to take both Brit Lit survey courses. The first one went from Beowulf to the late 1700s; the second one started with Romantic poetry and prose. On the first day of my Brit Lit II class, the prof talked about Beowulf for 45 minutes before anyone told him he was teaching the wrong class! Apparently this guy still pulls these kinds of stunts--he even forgot to show up for a final exam.
Another prof. at the same university (history dept.) uses his nasal spray in the middle of lectures. Fortunately, I missed out on that one.
Now I teach part-time at this same university, so I work alongside the people I've just mentioned.
