Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,287
Seekers of the Emergency services in the UK have one number to call; 999
Usually an operator will ask "which service do you require?" and the first steps are thus taken.
Every now and again, there's always some complete plonker who does not fully understand the nature of the service, either by complete stupidity, drunken, or sheer cussedness. Here's one recent one:-
Caller: Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon.
Police: Sorry?
Caller: Me girlfriend let the cat eat me bacon.
Police: Right, okay, what would you like the police do with regards to that, sir?
Caller: Cause I'm [unintelligble].
Police: So you want to beat up your girlfriend because the cat's eaten your bacon?
Caller: Eugh, don't speak to her.
Caller: You what? I want to press charges.
Police: Against who? Your girlfriend or the cat?
Caller: You what love?
Police: Who do you want to press charges against, your girlfriend or the cat?
[Silence.]
Caller: Both of them.
Police: Right, sir, it's not a criminal offence to let a cat eat your bacon, OK? And we don't arrest cats. I'm very sorry.
Caller: But she, me girlfriend, allowed the cat to do it.
Police: Right I'm very sorry sir but it's not a 999 emergency 'cause your girlfriend let the cat eat the bacon. I do apologise but it's not a police matter.
PS:- The Customer Contact Centre normally receives 1,000 calls a day on the 999 emergency number, but a spokesman said that the rate of calls more than quadrupled to 4,500 calls a day during the summer.
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Usually an operator will ask "which service do you require?" and the first steps are thus taken.
Every now and again, there's always some complete plonker who does not fully understand the nature of the service, either by complete stupidity, drunken, or sheer cussedness. Here's one recent one:-
Caller: Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon.
Police: Sorry?
Caller: Me girlfriend let the cat eat me bacon.
Police: Right, okay, what would you like the police do with regards to that, sir?
Caller: Cause I'm [unintelligble].
Police: So you want to beat up your girlfriend because the cat's eaten your bacon?
Caller: Eugh, don't speak to her.
Caller: You what? I want to press charges.
Police: Against who? Your girlfriend or the cat?
Caller: You what love?
Police: Who do you want to press charges against, your girlfriend or the cat?
[Silence.]
Caller: Both of them.
Police: Right, sir, it's not a criminal offence to let a cat eat your bacon, OK? And we don't arrest cats. I'm very sorry.
Caller: But she, me girlfriend, allowed the cat to do it.
Police: Right I'm very sorry sir but it's not a 999 emergency 'cause your girlfriend let the cat eat the bacon. I do apologise but it's not a police matter.
PS:- The Customer Contact Centre normally receives 1,000 calls a day on the 999 emergency number, but a spokesman said that the rate of calls more than quadrupled to 4,500 calls a day during the summer.
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