Idea for long story: Incest

[JammyJimmy]

Hi all,

I worked out an idea for a story a few weeks ago, but I don't think I want to write it, however, I can see it has potential, and in the hands of the right writer, it could be really hot, so I thought I'd share it here.
It's pretty lengthy, and I've included the main storyline, some sub-plots, and a load of information about the characters too.
It's not a quick jerk-off story however - it needs to see the characters journey through their individual trials and experiences in order to establish that contact with the reader, but as I said, I think it has a lot of potential...

Untitled:

John Weston is a nineteen year old, raised by his alcoholic mother. He grows up shy and ashamed of his poverty, his mothers behaviour and the poor area he comes from, and is quite withdrawn and lacking confidence.
His father is a sailor who only visits for a couple of weeks per year, and his mother tells him his father works on some hush-hush secret project of the government. John doesn't believe it, and doesn't really like his father, Brendan Weston.

One night, John's mother dies in her sleep after choking on her own vomit, and John is forced to find some courage. He develops a lot of bitterness at his father and decides to track him down, disbelieving the 'sailor story'.
He sells everything, leaves home and begins to travel the country, running down names on a list.

Eventually he finds Sarah Laird, a girl who knows his father.
She is the daughter of Brendan Weston, a secret government spy, etc, and John's half sister. John explains who he is, and the story comes out, she tells her mother, and she is upset. (and there's an opportunity here for John to lose his virginity to Sarah's mom, if you want to do that)

Sarah isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but is honest, forthright and open.
Having never had siblings, John ends up bonding with her, and she decides to come with him in his search for their father.
As they travel, they confide in each other, and grow very quickly to trust and love each other. They also spend a lot of time on the road either sleeping in John's car, camping, or occasionally sharing a hotel room, heightening a sexual tension that both feel, and neither discuss.

They find another half-sister, Kara Hohman, a stripper and pole-dancer who has not had many positive experiences with men. Kara is stubborn and self-destructive in a lot of her behaviour, and bonds quite well with Sarah, but argues a lot with John. As they get to know her, they hear from a friend of Sarah's who has managed to track down their father to an eco-community in Georgia.

The three siblings decide to travel to check him out, and on their way, they each grow to trust one another, and at this point it would be interesting to develop the physical aspect of incest.

(My original idea involved a series of hotel rooms and campsites, with the tension rising between Sarah and John, and Kara acting as a catalyst of sorts to their exploration. Things like John and Sarah being trapped in the bathroom together while they listen to Kara fuck some random guy. They're both aware that they're both horny, but can't speak of it, and then maybe the next night, they're in the room, in darkness, when Kara brings a bloke home again. They may be sharing a bed, and in the protection of the darkness and while they watch Kara fuck, they begin to develop their physical relationship - that sort of thing....)

Anyway, the trio 'get it on' while they travel is some way or another, and eventually they arrive in Georgia, where they find out in the nearby town that Brendan Weston does indeed live there, and is thought of as a 'cult-leader of a bunch of tree-hugging hippies'.

The cult is very environmentally friendly, and was set up by Brendan Weston for the specific purpose of meeting his own immoral needs. He has issues with the restrictions of society, and preaches (brainwashes) the seven members of his 'cult' to believe in 'free love' (lots of sex), saving the environment (they do the work, and produce free food) and decrying the way modern society works.
(Worshipping celebrities, marketing campaigns to make you feel shit so you'll buy their product, politicians funded by corporations, etc)

As the tale develops, the trio confronts Brendan, he manages to convince them to stay for a few days to get to know him, and along the way they are corrupted by the lifestyle at the 'commune/cult'.

There is lots of sexual experimentation, etc, and a bit of sensory overload for the three of them, but eventually they manage to expose Brendan for what he is....

As for finishing the tale after that.... that would be the writers call.

As I said, I think there's a lot of potential for the right writer to make something of this plot, assuming they can write the characters well. It's not a thousand-word effort, obviously, and has room for lots of erotic scenario's too.
For example:

Hooks for Scenes (pre-cult):
• Sarah finds porn on John’s laptop
• Kara’s bag spills open and her selection of sex toys is discovered
• John gets caught having a wank
• Sarah hears John fucking her mom and gets horny and angry
• Sarah gets caught masturbating to the porn on Johns laptop
• Sarah and John listen to Kara fuck some guy and get horny
• Sarah and John watch Kara fuck a different guy, and get off next to each other
• Kara does a lap-dance for them in the strip club
• Sarah and Kara go out, dressed provocatively and come back horny
• Skinny dipping
• Camping
• Kara dares Sarah into flashing passing motorists for fun
•

Hooks for scenes (at village):
• Free love sermon, conducted in the nude, ceremonial stuff
• The trio hear people have sex
• The trio see people have sex
• John is propositioned
• Kara propositions Curtis and Nathan
• Sarah participates in the ceremony
• Brendan asks the newcomers to attend a private sermon
• Brendan shows off Tina
• Kristen lets her pregnant tastes be known, and inducts the trio
• Joanna offers some exhibitionist encouragement
• Joanna confesses her desire to fuck Curtis, and the trio arrange it
• Amanda takes the trio to test the sex toys out
• John is put to work creating new toy designs for Kara and Sarah
• A fertility ceremony results in a grand orgy
• There’s a special atmosphere during dinner with some special food
• Amanda is tense and needs some relaxation therapy to calm her
•

Here's the additional character information I came up with:

Core characters:

John Weston – insecure and basically frightened, who has gone in search of his father as he feels alone and isolated. On his way he discovers that he doesn’t need to be shy, or scared, or dictated to by the people around him, and discovers who he really is, or who he wants to be.

Sarah Laird – John’s sister wants to go to college, but is planning on taking a year out to travel, and decides to go along with John to help find their father. Think Jaime Pressley in My Name Is Earl, although younger and dumber, or her character in Joe Dirt. Also add a bit of Brandy for sweetness.

Kara Hohman – a former stripper and habitual liar, who turns out to be another of John’s sisters. A lot more switched on than Sarah, she is on a self-destructive streak and frequently lets her stubborn side get the better of her. Decides she wants to find this father or hers to give him a piece of her mind.

Brendan Weston - Lives in an isolated house, with large grounds and plenty guest houses, which turns out to be a cult, worshipping nature. Brendan Weston is the leader, who believes in love, harmony and is opposed to law as restrictions put in place by businessmen and politicians to manipulate money, while the businesses wreck our environment and conform us into their pigeon-holed lifestyles, etc. Gives frequent political speeches, and preaches ‘free love’ as harmonious and in tune with natures desires. Use log fires, plant new trees, eat only veg and stuff grown on his land, basically eco-hippies, but manipulated so that he can have crowds of adoring women around him. Gets various grants from the government for running an ecological village kind-of-thing, and also has an online business selling wooden keyrings, letters and bits and bods. Also has another online business selling designer wooden sex toys.
Loves manipulating women, and gets a real thrill out of incestuous behaviour, particularly if the participants don’t know they’re related, but he does.

Peripheral Characters:

Joe Coples – a young lad about to go off to boot camp to join the Marines, who was raised in a good family by his mother and step-father. Unable to join them, but wishes them the best of luck, and asks to be kept up to date with their search.

Karen Laird – Sarah’s mother, a victim of Brendan’s manipulations from years ago, and someone who has been strung along by his allure since then. Has been on and off of Prozac most of her life, but works hard and isn’t really that bright.

Eric Ballard – a friend of Sarah’s who is an internet geek, and who takes on the search as his personal challenge, in order to impress Sarah. He is the one who eventually tracks down Brandon Weston outside Hahira.

Dee Rodriguez – the sheriff of Hahira, who asks John to pass her information on the cult as they have concerns about Brendan Weston and are trying to establish if he is a sexual deviant, or an eco-terrorist, or more than that.



Cult Characters:

Kristen Figueroa – originally from Tampa, she is Brandon’s current favourite. She is pregnant with his child, and has a tendency to lord it over the other women quite a bit due to her hot temper.

Tonya Walsh – originally from Oregon, Tonya is shy and quiet, a hard worker and a caring person, who welcomes them to the group and shows them around. She doesn’t believe in saying bad things about others, but is easily manipulated.

Amanda Sax – from Walnut Creek, CA is a former hooker and drug addict who has been cleaned up by the cult. Completely captivated by the teachings of Brendan, she can be a little militant about protecting the group and keeping them separated from the outside world. Frequently speaks before she thinks.

Martha Schmidt – from Indianapolis, she is a former favourite of Brendan who now has a child, and is finding it difficult to cope with the change since she gave birth. She craves his approval but is filled with self-doubt since the birth of her daughter.

Tina Mitchell – from Hartford, CT, she is the newest member of the group, and is spending a lot of one-on-one time with Brendan, to help remove her ‘social-brainwashing’. She is also a daughter of Brendan’s, although is unaware of it. She was specifically recruited by him for her cult, as he likes to keep tabs on his offspring.

Joanna Bryant – a bright and intelligent nineteen year old who is Curtis’ younger sister, and who rebels against Curtis but submits before Brendan. Is really into the ‘free love’ aspect of the group, and is completely uninhibited.

Curtis Bryant – from Atlanta, he has been on board for a while, since his own mother died, and helps Brendan by preparing for his sermons, and providing security for them all. He is a person in need of direction, and is considered to be a ‘supervisor’ by most of the women in the group.

Nathan Earnshaw – Another of Brendan’s many children, although unaware of it, he is completely on board with the belief in nature. He also works hard to keep making environmental improvements and is the groups’ handyman too. He often takes off to hunt with bow and arrow, but some of the group think he is a little ‘out there’ and may be planning some kind of action for the environmental militants of the world with Amanda.

There's also a few sub-plots you could weave into the tale too:

John and Sarah
John begins to withdraw into himself, and Sarah begs him to open up, and as he realises she accepts him for who he is, he realises that he feels closer to no-one in the world. He also realises that he loves her.
Sarah, feeling like her trust in men is shattered and her world is turned upside down, learns to rely on John and when she sees his pain, she is drawn to him, and falls in love with him.
John gets drunk for the first time in his life, and Sarah’s mother helps him home, and feeling low herself, she ends up having sex with him. Sarah finds out and gets jealous and angry, and John and Sarah discover that they are attracted to each other. Lots of tension ensues before they finally begin to act on it, after being driven crazy by Kara.

John and Kara:
Kara blames all her problems in life on her mothers’ lousy choice in men and her experience as a stripper makes her have a very low opinion of males in general.
She frequently does things to piss John off, and eventually she fucks a guy in their hotel room, which opens the door to John and Sarah.
When she sees how well Sarah is treated by John, she begins to realise that not all men are bastards, but some are loving and caring, yet she can’t stop herself from being angry and doing stupid things.
She tries to run, but John stops her by repeating he loves her, and eventually she caves and submits to being loved by both John and Sarah.
Woohoo!

Brendan’s Taste for Taboo:
Brendan’s refusal to accept societies restrictions make him consider incestuous behaviour to be a huge turn on, and keeping secrets from the participants to be an even bigger thrill, so he often manipulates others into unwittingly taking part for no more than his own amusement.
He plays continual games, but only John, Sarah and Kara know they are his children and they keep it a secret, until eventually he admits to John what he is up to when he tries to appoint John his second in command, while he escapes for a month to visit his ‘bitches’.

Nathan and Amanda – Eco-terrorists
The two most militant among the group are planning to attack a frequent EPA offender’s office, and burn them to the ground as a warning that ‘Mother Nature won’t tolerate this behaviour’. They try to recruit Kara to assist them, and she gets taken along as a potential scapegoat.

Local Yokels:
A few of the local teenagers try to ‘mess with the hippies’ and the trio see how manipulative Brendan can be, as he digs a ditch and lures the youths into a trap, convincing the group that mother nature helps them. He also sweet-talks the local sheriff, Dee Rodriguez that it was all just an awful accident.

Anyway, if you've made it this far, please share your thoughts, and if you're interested in seriously giving it a go, then please give it some serious thought.
I'd be interested to hear from you.....

 

[JammyJimmy]

Second Thoughts

All,

I've kinda had some second thoughts about this, and I'm giving writing it a go, just to see where it takes me.
I've never written an incest-based story before, because... well, frankly it doesn't really appeal to me, but I'm gonna give it a run and see how I do with the challenge. Push my boundaries and all that....
It'll be pretty lengthy, and not a 'quick-jerk-off' tale, but I'd be interested in hearing anything you've thought about, having read the extensively lengthy previous post!
In essence, asking for feedback before its even written lol

JJ

 

[iswallowloads]

I think writing it yourself is a good idea. You've done most of the work already - story arc, character sketches, plenty of reasons for them to get it on, etc. All you have to do now is 'fill in the blanks'.

I like the idea too, I'm not really into incest stories either, but this definitely sounds like something I'd read. Most incest stories are rather primal and basic. It'll be refreshing to see something where the story is more interesting than the sex.

Good luck!

 

[JammyJimmy]

Cheers for the feedback, iswallowloads.

I've put the first 10,000 words down, and it seems to be going pretty well, the characters are establishing themselves and the story seems to be moving forward to my satisfaction. However, I'd appreciate some thoughts from anyone who wants to contribute on classifying my story.
The tale is going to cover so many different story types that I thought I might split it up. (First Time, Exhibitionist, Incest, Group Sex, etc)
Do you think this is a good idea, or should I post it all under one section? (Novels and Novellas, etc)
Please, share your thoughts on this - I'd be interested in what other writers (or readers) might think.

JJ

 

[JammyJimmy]

Okay, I've hit 40,000 words now, and I reckon I'm about a third of the way through the story!

I've got as far as John losing his virginity, then he and Sarah fall in love, and develop slowly until they hook-up. I'm liking the way the characters are developing, the conflict thats inside them, and how the search for their father is coming along too.

I'd appreciate some thoughts on it though, so if anyone is interested in meandering through 100 pages of MS word for a sneak preview, I'd be happy to get some feedback.

 

[JammyJimmy]

Okay, I've posted the first book of the story:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=412575

It's 11 pages long, but I'd be interested in any feedback you might give, AND I've deliberately left the next book in the hands of the reader as to where the character might go.
Anyhoo...