I'd love to know what you think...

[Basin City]

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=216443

This is my latest submission. I'd really like to hear some feedback to know what people like so I can put more of that into later stories and what needs improving.

Really hope you enjoy.

Thanks in advance.

 

[-geisha.grrrl-]

Not my fave genre, but a good story.

 

[Harrowborg]

The sexual content is as good as others on lit. the main fault i'd guess is that again theres absolutely no truth in why it happens, why two members of the same family suddenly end up sleeping together. some of the best stories i've read on lit and tried to do myself as of late when writing is where there is some justification for what the characters do.

A lot of stories suffer from this problem, the sex can be the most steamiest you've ever read and yet there still be a fault in that you end up asking when these two people are having sex. it may mean you write more build up to the act, or even that its like 70% build up, 30% act if that makes sense but this may help for later stories. good luck.

 

[Mark2]

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=216443

This is my latest submission. I'd really like to hear some feedback to know what people like so I can put more of that into later stories and what needs improving.

Really hope you enjoy.

Thanks in advance.

Hmmm.
Sex takes place.
No particular reason why. Our hero is not actually trying to seduce auntie, nor apparantly is Auntie trying to seduce Hunkie. So the action just drifts along trying to happen in a sort of dream like state.
It needs a lot more emotion, and thought revelation, simplify the language where possible.

 

[oOScarletWingsOo]

Call Answered

I saw your thread, read your piece, posted my comments. Hope they help.

 

[Basin City]

Too funny to be true!

"I think we some editing it could be better."

You've got to be kicking yourself right now.

Thanks for the advice though. Great to see you're taking your own...oh wait..um.


Seriously, thank you.

 

[oOScarletWingsOo]

Nah

Typos are typos.

I'm sure you knew what I meant.

Plus, the editing process doesn't stop with just finding SPAGs. You should use that time to tighten your sentences by getting rid of excess words etc. While you edit you can also look at the formatting (like putting dialogue on their own lines and following punctuation rules within that dialogue as well.)

 

[Basin City]

If anybody's interested...

Aunt Ceci Ch.02 is now up.

This one's better I promise.


http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=217391&page=1

 

[oOScarletWingsOo]

Better in what way?

 

[Basin City]

Better in the way of my totally unbiased opinion.

That way.