I wrote something in my sleep it seems

[ezlikepeye]

Hi all, I've never actually posted in this section before and I'm a little nervous. I wanted my first post here to be special. Something I was proud of, instead it will be something I found on my desktop. It seems after a party last night I typed up a short little...thing. I did nothing more than spell check it... I think, but I would love to get any feedback. I'm not expecting anything from it, but I also never wrote in my sleep before. Enjoy


Depression is such a deep seated emotion. Sometimes I wonder if the oceans of my life will ever pool together or just dry up and crumble away.
I struggle day to day with the voices I hear. I struggle from moment to moment with all of my fear. I know not why I do think, say, and do what i do. All i know is i do it all because I'm told too.
How would you like it. To be told what to do, who to do, how to do all day long. How would you like to merely watch throw rose colored glass as the man behind the curtain acts for You. How are you supposed to respond when you are chained up against yourself with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. I want to break free but doing so will end me so i deal.

 

[tickledkitty]

If you don't expect anything from it and supposedly wrote it in your sleep, why do you want our feedback?

 

[ezlikepeye]

curiosity i guess. I never wrote in my sleep before so I SHOULD say im not expecting much of a response I just wanted to throw it out there

 

[wehstar]

You mean you actually wrote it whilst asleep, like sleepwalking? Or was it you wrote it when you were very drunken and/or sleepy?

 

[tickledkitty]

curiosity i guess. I never wrote in my sleep before so I SHOULD say im not expecting much of a response I just wanted to throw it out there

OK, well, any criticism you get, you can just say you were asleep when you wrote it, which, in my opinion is a crock of shit.

 

[ezlikepeye]

well thats your opinion maybe i was drunk im not sure, but its good to know that your life has so much meaning that you feel the need to criticize some person you've never met and not even mention anything on what he wrote.

 

[tickledkitty]

well thats your opinion maybe i was drunk im not sure, but its good to know that your life has so much meaning that you feel the need to criticize some person you've never met and not even mention anything on what he wrote.

This has nothing to do with me or my life. This is about you. You posted something that you clearly stated you have no expectations for. You claim to have been asleep when you wrote it. Therefore, you are absolving yourself of responsibility for it. Why should I spend my time on a critique that means nothing to you and that you don't even own? Unless, of course, it does mean a great deal to you. If that is the case, then why not say so? Why not own it?

So anyway, you wanted it. Here it is:

Depression is such a deep-seated emotion. Sometimes I wonder if the oceans of my life will ever pool together or just dry up and crumble away.

I struggle day to day with the voices I hear. I struggle from moment to moment with all of my fear. I know not [The wording here seems like you're trying to be clever. Why not say "I don't know why..."] why I do think, say, and do what I do. All I know is I do it all because I'm told to.

How would you like it? To be told what to do, who to do, how to do all day long. How would you like to merely watch through rose-colored glass [Do you mean "glasses" here?] as the man behind the curtain acts for you? How are you supposed to respond when you are chained up against yourself with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide? I want to break free, but doing so will end me; so I deal.

 

[angela146]

I keep a phone next to my bed in case I get a brilliant idea in the middle of the night. I can then leave myself a voice message.

Usually what I hear the next morning is something like: "We need to use round-headed thorough-bred Muenster cheese in the carburetor. It would work a lot better than transmission fluid."

As for your work, somebody has already quibbled with the superficial stuff, so I'm now free to say something about the substance:

I think what you are talking about is an "internal" man behind the curtain, not society telling you what to do or limiting you. Who does it make you think of? When you read this does it remind you of your parents? Are you dealing with a whole bunch of "tapes" of your mother/father telling you what to do or how you won't amount to anything?

Whatever else it may represent, it certainly speaks to the oppressive nature of depression and the inability to control one's own behavior.

What do I think of it? It has a recognizable gestalt to it. I can relate.

Depression is such a deep seated emotion. Sometimes I wonder if the oceans of my life will ever pool together or just dry up and crumble away.

I struggle day to day with the voices I hear. I struggle from moment to moment with all of my fear. I know not why I do think, say, and do what i do. All i know is i do it all because I'm told too.
How would you like it. To be told what to do, who to do, how to do all day long. How would you like to merely watch throw rose colored glass as the man behind the curtain acts for You. How are you supposed to respond when you are chained up against yourself with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. I want to break free but doing so will end me so i deal.