I will never read your story if…

[nice90sguy]

…your female MC's name ends with an 'i'.

 

[nice90sguy]

...sexual acts are repeatedly described in excrutiating detail, and you can practically smell the author's jizz-stained keyboard. "They fucked again" will do.

 

[nice90sguy]

...anybody in the story is call Brad, or other monosyllabic '70's porn actor name.

 

[Altissimus]

...the story includes I'm CummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMmMmMmMmMmMmMm<cough>MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmMmMmMmMmMmMing. anywhere.

 

[Altissimus]

...I see bold caps all over the page.

 

[SexyVita]

...I find two obvious spelling or grammatical errors in the first paragraph.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

The story is riddled with exclamation marks!!!!!!!

 

[Seadog777]

I honestly can't think of anything that would have me NEVER read someone's story.

What I do do, is if the story doesn't capture me on the first page, I don't read any further.

Especially, if it's more than 3 pages.

 

[AlinaX]

…your female MC's name ends with an 'i'.

Even if it's Teri - short for Princess an’Terim-lanka?

 

[AlinaX]

...the story includes I'm CummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMmMmMmMmMmMmMm<cough>MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmMmMmMmMmMmMing. anywhere.

Love in the time of Covid, alas.

 

[AlinaX]

... jizz-stained keyboard ... bold caps all over the page ... riddled with exclamation marks!!!!!!!

Damn, writing erotica sounds bukkakalicious.

 

[Seadog777]

…your female MC's name ends with an 'i'.

I thought the "rule" was to never date or sleep with a woman, whose name ends in "i".

Tori, Kelli(personal experience), Abbi, Maci, etc, because they all nutty.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I thought the "rule" was to never date or sleep with a woman, whose name ends in "i".

Tori, Kelli(personal experience), Abbi, Maci, etc, because they all nutty.

nutti.

 

[AlinaX]

Is this an alergy thing?

 

[Seadog777]

nutti.

Damn, I missed doing that.


I bow down. LOL

 

[lovecraft68]

It's written by someone who comes here and tells people what they shouldn't write.

 

[PrincessArianrhod]

Every sexual act, sexual organ, sexual thought, bodily fluid or reference to them is habitually described by using the most vulgar slang available. Believe it or not, polite or correct terms, suggestion, innuendo and subtlety can be stimulating in the same way as partial nudity.

 

[TheRedChamber]

...anybody in the story is call Brad, or other monosyllabic '70's porn actor name.

What if the story is set in the 70s in the porn industry?

 

[PrincessArianrhod]

What if the story is set in the 70s in the porn industry?

The prosecution rests, your Honour...

 

[alohadave]

Even if it's Teri - short for Princess an’Terim-lanka?

...if any of the characters has an apostrophe in a made up name.

 

[SimonDoom]

So, I'm guessing, based on what I'm reading here, that this isn't the best way to start, for some:

"I'm cummmmmmmmming, Brad!!!!!!!!!!" cried Bunni Cum-Slurper as his manrod plundered her honey hole.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

So, I'm guessing, based on what I'm reading here, that this isn't the best way to start, for some:

"I'm cummmmmmmmming, Brad!!!!!!!!!!" cried Bunni Cum-Slurper as his manrod plundered her honey hole.

Sounds like you've got a winner, Simon!!!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Not sure why Naomi, Lorelei, Imani, Anjali, Lakshmi, Jodi, Heidi, Midori, Habibi, or Judi would be a deal-breaker, but you do you.

 

[The_Weeping_Angel]

...if any of the characters has an apostrophe in a made up name.

I used to work with young lady. Her name was spelled Brittany. She pronounced it bree-tawn-ee

 

[ChloeTzang]

...sexual acts are repeatedly described in excrutiating detail, and you can practically smell the author's jizz-stained keyboard. "They fucked again" will do.

Oh no! I love that detail! "They fucked again" is boring. B.O.R.I.N.G. Boring. LOL. This is erotica, not some mainstream novel with a one paragraph sex scene that's hardly worth noticing. I shall disagree, but in the end, it's all in what rings your bells.

...anybody in the story is call Brad, or other monosyllabic '70's porn actor name.

No way!!! I used to fantasize about Brad, way back when. I still use images of Brad to visualize some of my male characters. (swoons)