I went to Mass on Saturday

[Calamity Jane]

Yeah, go figure, me a witch at Saturday Mass. Some friends were renewing their wedding vows, which I think is really cool.

So anyway, there I sit, trying to pay attention to the sermon, and when i'm not comparing the ritual of communion to more pagan rituals... the chalice, the candles, the 'grain'... anyway, I'm looking at all these little statues of Mary and Jesus as a baby...

And I'm trying to picture Mary as a mother. Chasing around this crazy little toddler... hollering at him to pick up his toys right now, OR ELSE! Changing diapers... hoping and praying he'll take a nap so she can sit down for just one minute and put her feet up... and I couldn't do it. I was trying really hard not to laugh, but the images just wouldn't come to me.

Anyone else ever try to picture historical figures as normal people?

This random sampling of Jane's thoughts is brought to you by way too much cold medication and a serious need to get out of the house!

 

[lobito]

I find Church fairly unhealthy for ME, nothing much good comes of church to me. I go to watch people get married, that's something that can be done ANYWHERE, doesn't have to be in a church. I go when someone dies, what good is that?

I get EASILY bored at Churches.

Lo

 

[p_p_man]

I've always imagined Jesus as a completely...

unpopular kid.

Always walking around with an air of superiority, saying things that nobody else understood and telling adults how they should conduct their lives.

I hope he had a few good hidings for giving so much lip...

 

[Nigel]

There was a British stand-up comic that I saw on a cable special about 10 years ago...and he did a whole thing about Jesus' childhood and Mary hauling him out in front of the guests at a dinner party. It went something like this:

Mary: Come along then, Jesus, do your "water into wine.

Jesus: No, Mother....can't I just show them my Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Mary: No, come along! Mr. Leper came all this way...just heal him and you can go off to bed.

Jesus: No, I don't want to...he's scary....

I often think about the daily lives of historical figures that we never heard about. For instance, "Hamlet" originally might have been quite different, if not for:

Actor Playing Ophelia: William, I have to talk to you.

Shakespeare: Are you kidding? It's opening night! The show starts in an hour. And we still have to rehearse your wedding scene with Hamlet. Where the hell is Polonius? He has to give the bride away!

Actor Playing Ophelia: Bill, I'm serious. I need a raise.

Shakespeare: A raise?? Are you kidding me? The bloody scenery ate up the budget! And you KNOW we're having trouble drawing an audience. There's a plague on, you know!

Actor Playing Opelia: I'll do the show tonight, then, but I won't play tomorrow without a raise.

Shakespeare: (to the cast) Alright, kids - rewrite time! First, we're cutting the tap numbers - the damn songs never did sound right.....and Rosencrantz and Guidenstern never did learn to kick as high as the rest of you. Second, Hamlet's gonna be real depressed in the show now....because....his father didn't die in a war, he was killed by his uncle. Okay? So it's about revenge now. Third - we're cutting the wedding scene. In fact, halfway through the show, Ophelia's gonna go nuts and kill herself. Laertes is gonna be PISSED.....and he'll plot with the uncle to kill Hamlet. Okay let's try it from the top......

....or something like that.....

Nigel

 

[p_p_man]

There was a British stand-up comic that I saw on a cable special about 10 years ago...and he did a whole thing about Jesus' childhood and Mary hauling him out in front of the guests at a dinner party. It went something like this:

LOL

 

[Juspar Emvan]

The Life of Brian - Monty Python. A must see. Brian, born in a manger 25 December gets mistaken for the messiah throughout his life.

Wish I could rememebr some of the quote accurately - bloody hilarious.

Pagan, I commented on your av the other day, was momentarily disapointed to see it gone. Actually like this one even better - it is you right?

 

[Calamity Jane]

Actually like this one even better - it is you right?

Thanks, and yes... me and my baby.

 

[Nigel]

The Life of Brian - Monty Python. A must see. Brian, born in a manger 25 December gets mistaken for the messiah throughout his life.

Wish I could rememebr some of the quote accurately - bloody hilarious.

Brian's Mother: "There's no messiah here. There's a mess, but there's no messiah."

Brian's Mother: (something like) "I'll take the gold and the frankensence - you can keep the myrrh...I don't know what the hell that is..."

Person at the Sermon on the Mount - way in the back: "Blessed are the cheesemakers?"

and my favorite....

Prophet: "There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray. A friend shall lose a friend's hammer. And no one will know where lieth those little things...that have a sort of rapier-work base, that has an attachment...."


Nigel

 

[Calamity Jane]

So much for thinking my thoughts were even remotely original!

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Wise?

Traipsing around at 3 o'clock in the morning doesn't sound very bloody wise to me.

 

[RawHumor]

Click this link for more quotes from that movie:

http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0079470

 

[daedalos]

Yeah, go figure, me a witch at Saturday Mass. Some friends were renewing their wedding vows, which I think is really cool.

So anyway, there I sit, trying to pay attention to the sermon, and when i'm not comparing the ritual of communion to more pagan rituals... the chalice, the candles, the 'grain'... anyway, I'm looking at all these little statues of Mary and Jesus as a baby...

Interesting... when you note the similarity of Christian rites and pagan rites, does that invalidate the former in your mind?

 

[Calamity Jane]

I don't consider ANY religious rites invalid. Whatever path gets you to your destination darlin. Some of us take the interstate and some chart our own course... none is better than the other.