I watched Orgazmo, my dog isn't dying, and I drank a whole liter of Mountain Dew

[KillerMuffin]

Gawddamn I'm in a good mood. I little giggly, but I won't tell if you won't. And it's not like you can hear me.

I just spent the last 5 minutes laughing my ass off over the whole Why was 6 afraid? joke. Oh that one is hysterical.

I have proof that we're just not serious people on the MuffinRanch. We have a chihuahua. How can you take anyone who owns a chihuahua seriously? I mean really? It's a barking rat with big ears who hogs the whole freaking bed.

Damn, he can run though. We went out bike riding yesterday and the dalmatians were charging all over the landscape, but that chihuahua, wheee doggies. He's like a streak on blurred legs. They're the size of toothpicks, too.

Did I mention that I collect black and white furry things for some reason? Don't know why.

Hey, knock knock. *chortles*

 

[OUTSIDER]

Hi Muff

 

[Pokerman]

LMAO

Who's there?

 

[sexy-girl]

lol that explains why i got called sugar ... i've never been sugar before but i'll never forget this day

Hey, knock knock. *chortles*

whos there by the way ?

 

[Guest]

Hehehe

Who's there??

 

[Elizabeth]

"Sleeping with the fishes, si."

 

[KillerMuffin]

Boo

 

[Pokerman]

This is one of my favorites, KM!!!

BOO WHO?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Awww, you don't have to cry Pokerman! *shoves Pokerman's face into her breasts* You poor guy. *patting head* I feel for you, I really do. You can breathe in there, can't you?

 

[Ravenloft]

Muffin... Caffien is bad for you... Wait, I mean goooood for you. Yeah, thats what I ment. *Tipping back the coffee pot again*

 

[KillerMuffin]

The only thing more annoying than one dog licking his balls is three dogs doing the same damned thing.

There you are, poor innocent and kinda dumb dog. Comfortably curled up, one leg hiked up, eyes half-lidded, ears flaggin in contentment, and licking the old equipment. *SSSSLURPPP SSSSLURPPP* Repetitively until the sound just lulls you into a comfortable doggy daydream haze.

Then the wacko at the computer screams in that annoying shrieking high pitch she can sometimes get, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Then she jumps up and bounds over the bed and runs from the room.

You look at your two partners in dog slurping, kinda half shrug "women." Then you carry on with that oh so comfortable *SLLURPP SLURPPPP*

Moments later, you're so deep in the daydreams and licking that you don't hear her. Though she does sound like a herd of elephants doing Sinatra in tap shoes. She comes charging into the room, leaps onto the bed, the towel she has clothespinned around her neck streaming with her flight. You freeze in mid lick, startled, then she lets you have it with 50 lbs of supersoaker PSI. Right on the balls.

I am avenged.

Fucking dogs.

 

[Pokerman]

Awww, you don't have to cry Pokerman! *shoves Pokerman's face into her breasts* You poor guy. *patting head* I feel for you, I really do. You can breathe in there, can't you?

lol...breathe? no why would i waste time breathing? inhaling your sweet scent...savoring every moment....

who has time to breathe?

 

[cymbidia]

Moments later, you're so deep in the daydreams and licking that you don't hear her. Though she does sound like a herd of elephants doing Sinatra in tap shoes. She comes charging into the room, leaps onto the bed, the towel she has clothespinned around her neck streaming with her flight. You freeze in mid lick, startled, then she lets you have it with 50 lbs of supersoaker PSI. Right on the balls.

I am avenged.

Fucking dogs.

Muffie honey? Shove their doggie asses out of the room, close the door behind them, and revel in your non-licking-sounds peace.

I'm worried about you.
You gotta kick this MD monkey, babes.
It's riding you too hard.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Cym, don't make me use the Orgazmorator!

 

[cymbidia]

Cym, don't make me use the Orgazmorator!

You gotta use what you gotta use, honey. If the MD monkey's got you this bad, maybe you could use a little go-round with the Orgazamotor... errr... Ogazmatron... uhhh... your "special" machine friend. Might help you calm down a little and realize that THEY are the dogs. YOU are the human. YOU own the room and don't have to listen to doggie-ball-slurping-sounds if such sounds are bothering you.

 

[KillerMuffin]

But, but, but, but cyyyyymmmmm!

It's going to cost 171.83 cents to get the dog diagnosed. They're going to give him everything but an MRI. Well, they're going to take a lot of blood. Rocky had a seizure yesterday. It was tres uncool of him and scared me half to death. Luckily I caught that half before it got away.

He's doing okay now, but Monday, he goes to the vet.

I think I'm coming down from the MD now. And the dogs have ceased ball-licking. They're playing with sticks in the back yard. Such bliss.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Damn, what I wouldn't give for an Orgazmerator.
I love that fucking movie. For once, the filmmakers actually WANT you to laught at Ron Jeremy. As it should be.

And, if you grew up as a non-Mormon around Mormons, that's the funnies movie ever filmed. In my not so humble opinion. bien sure!

Glad the dog's not dying, Muffin. And MD's better than crack, and lasts longer, too. Shhh, keep it quiet or the Feds'll ban it.