I want to lose myself

[writeradonia]

Controlling? Maybe I am. No, wait, I am quite controlling. I will admit.
Evert facet of my life- I have a strong need to control it.
I wouldn’t mind losing control. The idea of being taken over the edge with delirium sounds like bliss. How do I relinquish the control that drives my every day existence? Can such a thing be achieved?
I have tried , tried the submissive role and enjoyed it but in all reality I was still in control.
Yes I was given orders, Yes I obeyed them but if there was something I didn’t want to do, I know I wouldn’t. My mind wouldn’t release the reigns of control, not even whilst in the throw of a powerful orgasm brought on by repetitive moments of deprivation. My mind controlled me. That is what I want. I want to lose my mind.
I want my body to react in a way the mind can’t stop it. I want to be emotional and feel the weight of control leave me, even if for just the briefest of moments. I want to bare my soul and all of my vulnerabilities for just one moment.

 

[SensualSam]

.....

 

[wyshes]

It also depends on who you are handing the control over to. If you don't totally click with that Person it will never happen. Choose carefully and wisely, it will happen. It takes a control freak to know. Good luck on your journey.

 

[exitingeden]

Yeah this is a dangerous and tough endeavor. She is right itr trakea a control freak to do it right. But your toughest thing is going to find one you trust enough to let go.

Very best of luck!

 

[writeradonia]

Thanks for the input guys and gals.
I am very realistic with myself. I don't trust anyone, that is why I can't lose myself.
Doesn't stop me from wanting to

 

[Tappy_McWidestance]

You have to trust your Dom completely in order to really give up control. Obviously finding that one person is the challenge. You need someone experienced who will take their time and bring you along for the ride of your life slowly. That level of trust must be built and earned.

My first RL encounter with my sub was 5 months after talking about it and by then she was perfectly willing and able to give up full control minutes after meeting for the first time. (Basically long enough to walk from the hotel lobby to the room.)

But it was work getting to that point. There is no shortcut to intimacy.

 

[owenrees]

True controle is hard

With a lot of Dom and sub relationships its hard to see who has the control.
In the case of bondage often it is the one tied up and being spanked. With safe words and limits there is no control just a scenario, A game say, where you give the Dom the right to treat you in a set way.

It makes me think of my only true Sub i had. As much as I miss her the power i had over her was only in her head. Id never met her and all that she did was on my word. Know i found this very hot and so did she but the point I make is if she did not do it then its not like I could check up or hunt her down.

I remember once she was out running an job for me making A cake. During the time she was making it she messaged me to say she needed to pee, I laughed and said why are you asking me that, She responded by "you said i was not aloud to do any thing till your cake was done. I had to go to work so could not respond so latter I asked so did you pee? she said yes all down my legs lol.

I never told her she could not go but had taken my words and given them power. Even after I had asked why she would not just because I had not given her that freedom she had decided to pee her self. The control was hers all along some times its the Illusion people want.

 

[Momsluver]

Control

Letting go is hard. Finding someone to trust enough to let go with is even harder. Message me if you would like to talk about it.

 

[8523km]

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