I think I am ready for this

[BgMma]

I really would like a touch of input on this story. It is purely fiction, using only guidelines of people I know of to help putter along.
I know it maybe hard to read, but I could use criticism, good or bad. Please be as honest as you can.
I don't know if I doing this link right.
www.literotica.con/stories/showstory.php?d=62181
Okay. I have bandages and mecuricome. GO!

 

[damppanties]

Nope, the link doesn't work.

But here's the link to your memberpage:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=137242

and I think the story you want to share is Sunday and it can be reached by following this link:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=62181

Right?

-DP.

 

[BgMma]

Thank you, DP

I still have a bit to learn about adding a link. I am glad someone was willing to lend me a hand!
Thanks.
The part that kills me about Sunday, is that I had an awesome story going. I had details and all the good stuff that goes into a great story. Then I had to move so my other leg could fall asleep and I accidentally hit the escape key. Imagine my displeasure at the blank screen before me.
So I tried again. With much less gusto that before. I am afraid it shows, but I am going to continue the storyline and see if I can keep from hitting any extra keys this time.

 

[sirhugs]

" save early save often"

 

[Rainbow Skin]

First, it's just full of little typos and spelling mistakes: 'forsee' for 'foresee', 'Her not' for 'Her note', 'dane' for 'Dane', 'afte' for 'after', 'alseep' for 'asleep'. The fact that there are so many obvious ones means you didn't proofread, didn't even check that the basics were right. I as a reader then feel that'll extend to everything else in the story.

Actually, for much of it, it's quite well done. I think you've got Roger's drunken psychology worked out with some accuracy and subtletly. Ecco's anguish is quite well explored until she acquiesces; then there stops being any battle in it. I think she needs to be repulsed and reluctant even once she starts enjoying it. The latter part is not nearly so believable.

"Ohhh, yeah, aaahhhhh, yes pleaseeee, oh God, daddy, fuuuccckkkkk mmmmeeeee!"

Never, ever, ever write this, no matter how much you see it in other stories.

 

[BgMma]

In all honesty, I think I do pretty well for being dyslexic!
I don't have too much experience in writing these types of stories, but I am trying.
I have to give you credit for being honest and I do appreciate it!
I often get into what I am writing and don't pay attention to every detail like I should. Often, the spelling errors are due to my rushing to get to the end. I try very hard to keep it together.
I do see what you mean about her being too pliant toward the end. I lost some steam there. Okay, I see where I need some improvement.
I do have to say that I was figuring in more mistakes and stumbling errors, that sort of thing.
Okay, thank you. I will certainly keep this all in mind!