I swear to GOD this isn't an Urban Legend....

[Starfish]

I masturbated with a Philips screwdriver this morning.

The blunt, smoothed end of it while looking at masturbation/pissing porn.

 

[lobito]

I've never read about it until now, so you're probably right Fishie. Was it good at least?

 

[Starblayde]

I'm sure it will become a Lit legend if you film/take pictures of it for us to see

 

[Starfish]

Yes, yes..... pictures. Well..... are reinactment photos okay?

 

[perks]

Now, I *know* you're an artist. <snicker>

 

[Starblayde]

Yes, yes..... pictures. Well..... are reinactment photos okay?

It'll prove you liked it in the first place...

But i just had to be the first person to mention pictures...

 

[MissTaken]

My,

that brings a whole new meaning to "getting screwed."

 

[Dillinger]

Yes, but I AM an urban legend.

 

[Ginny]

oooooooohhh......that's hot.....<nodding>....my lil clit just went boing.....i'll be smiling when i walk by the toolbox in the garage tonight....thanks for sharing that hot tidbit......

and you don't have to answer this......but.....when you're getting close...is it all clitoral stimulation.....or are you fucking the hole as well....for me...watching porn......by myself like you were......i may have something in me......but my clit is the only thang i'm concerned with.....

 

[Starblayde]

My,

that brings a whole new meaning to "getting screwed."

LMAO... oh god, how did I not think of that.....

I must be slipping

 

[Spinaroonie]

 

[Woodmiester]

Yes, yes..... pictures. Well..... are reinactment photos okay?

Okay? Well I would think so, hell who knows, maybe the reinactment might just turn into round two huh?

 

[Starfish]

Oh, touche.

It takes a nut, I guess.


Okay, so here are the intimates....


I like to rub the nob on my clit and then poke it in and out, and then do some more rubbing. I like the whole vaginal stimulation, but unless I have anal stimulation too, I am not that worried about the vagina. I am the clit commander. I command the clit.

 

[Woodmiester]

<eyes narrowed looking back and forth wondering> did I just get called a nut?

If so, ya, 2 of'em, and in workin condition too

 

[Starfish]

I am sorry Woody. I was saying touche to the whole "Getting screwed" bit.

I was saying that I must be a nut.

Which I am fond of being.

 

[riff]

I am sorry Woody. I was saying touche to the whole "Getting screwed" bit.

I was saying that I must be a nut.

Which I am fond of being.

And you do a damned good job, too, I hasten to add.

 

[freakygirl]

I masturbated with a Philips screwdriver this morning.

The blunt, smoothed end of it while looking at masturbation/pissing porn.

Oh My..

 

[Starfish]

oKAY.....

tRUE sTORY: NOT URBAND LEGEND

I was on Autumn Jerry Garcia Band tour, back in 92, and I was in Long Island, by which he was playing in Uniondale at the Nassua Colusseum. There was but one place for the freaks to go after the show, and that was the Colusseum Inn, and the hallways were lined with us. We were partying up a storm all night.... Some drunk, some straight, some stoned, some trippin.

I was straight. I was bored, and I was doing cartwheels down the hallway lined with people, giving the occaisional bare pussy shot to some happy hippies as I spun by. My performance was bringing smiles, cheers, and tongue wagging. That is when a brother named Wingnut begged me to show him how to do a cartwheel. He begged, because he'd never done one, and felt as though he couldn't go on being Wingnut if he couldn't do a cartwheel. I discribed it, and showed him once, and when he went to do it, he kicked me in the jaw, with army boots on, and I hit the hall, and that was the last I remembered of that. I woke up about 45 minutes ?? later on a bed in someones hotel room.
I had people all over me, "how are you?", "do you need to go to the hospital?", "here is some codine, morphine, reefer, vicodin, ice for your jaw, rags for the blood." and then, in the doorway, there stood worried, scared, and frightfully funny looking little Wingnut.

I got up, tough bitch that I am, and I walked over and gave him a hug, and told him not to worry. I went out in the hall, and partied the night away.

The next day he tried to give me the necklace that he wore... a single wingnut on a white strand of cord.

I couldn't accpet it. I told him that only he could be wingnut.
He said "You are then, an honorary Wingnut." and he smiled and walked on.

Never saw him again, but to this day..... my Wingnuttedness shines in the light of his Wingnuttedness.

 

[Woodmiester]

I was saying that I must be a nut.

Which I am fond of being.

Well hell in that case, since your the nut can I be the round headed bolt and then get screwed together?

 

[Guest]

Oh sweet, delicious dreams.
How I could find much to occupy your clit as the screwdriver found other areas to fill.


Whew.

 

[phrodeau]

A straight-line cordless power screwdriver will add a bit of vibe and twist to the experience.

 

[Starfish]

Yes, no.


I don't think that I should be allowed to play with power tools unsupervised and without goggles.