I should have written that sex scene at the end of the story

[taytay4eva]

Just got my latest Silus and Rebb story published, and while I had a blowjob scene at the front of the story, I decided to not put a sex scene at the end because I thought it was too intimate of a moment between the characters.

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

Fuck.

 

[NotWise]

Just got my latest Silus and Rebb story published, and while I had a blowjob scene at the front of the story, I decided to not put a sex scene at the end because I thought it was too intimate of a moment between the characters.

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

Fuck.

Maybe, maybe not. EC gets a lot of posts and it doesn't have a lot of involved readers, so sometimes stories slip through the cracks. It's sometimes hard to get enough votes to be representative. Given enough time, the scores might even out.

If you want higher scores you could also write longer stories. One-page stories don't give the readers much time to get involved with your characters.

 

[taytay4eva]

Maybe, maybe not. EC gets a lot of posts and it doesn't have a lot of involved readers, so sometimes stories slip through the cracks. It's sometimes hard to get enough votes to be representative. Given enough time, the scores might even out.

If you want higher scores you could also write longer stories. One-page stories don't give the readers much time to get involved with your characters.

I don't know how the stories get divided into pages, and I'd hate to have a sex scene get split or to have the second page just be, like, the tail end of a thing. That was part of the worry of it this time. Also, I'm too slow of a writer to be able to do much more than a one-page story at a time on here. If I did multi-page stories, I'd ... well, I already post infrequently, but I'd post even less frequently than that.

At least the idea I have for the next one is probably going to be longer than one page.

 

[SmokingFap]

I don't know how the stories get divided into pages, and I'd hate to have a sex scene get split or to have the second page just be, like, the tail end of a thing. That was part of the worry of it this time. Also, I'm too slow of a writer to be able to do much more than a one-page story at a time on here. If I did multi-page stories, I'd ... well, I already post infrequently, but I'd post even less frequently than that.

At least the idea I have for the next one is probably going to be longer than one page.

Just write what you like, how you like, as long as you like, and let the ratings fall where they may.

And most of us grew up turning pages in the middle of important scenes, so I don't think there's an issue about how many pages your story is or where the cut-off is.

 

[NotWise]

At least the idea I have for the next one is probably going to be longer than one page.

Have fun with it.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I don't know how the stories get divided into pages,

One Lit page is approximately 3,750 words, plus or minus.

and I'd hate to have a sex scene get split or to have the second page just be, like, the tail end of a thing. That was part of the worry of it this time. Also, I'm too slow of a writer to be able to do much more than a one-page story at a time on here. If I did multi-page stories, I'd ... well, I already post infrequently, but I'd post even less frequently than that.

At least the idea I have for the next one is probably going to be longer than one page.

Think of your readers - how long would it take to read a page? A fast reader, easily 200 - 300 words a minute, a skim reader, 500. One page doesn't give a huge amount of time for arousal, which is one of the points of erotica.

 

[taytay4eva]

One Lit page is approximately 3,750 words, plus or minus.

Think of your readers - how long would it take to read a page? A fast reader, easily 200 - 300 words a minute, a skim reader, 500. One page doesn't give a huge amount of time for arousal, which is one of the points of erotica.

That's all good info to know. I'll keep that in mind moving forward. Thanks!

 

[Britva415]

I don't know how the stories get divided into pages, and I'd hate to have a sex scene get split or to have the second page just be, like, the tail end of a thing.

Have you read stories around here? This happens all the time.

Just yesterday I read one which had only the last 12-word paragraph of the story on the second page.

Relax

 

[ronde]

Just got my latest Silus and Rebb story published, and while I had a blowjob scene at the front of the story, I decided to not put a sex scene at the end because I thought it was too intimate of a moment between the characters.

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

Fuck.

There is no "best place" to put a sex scene, except it should fit into the progression of the plot, i.e. what the characters are doing. It that's at the start of the story, that's fine. If it's at the end that's fine too. If it's in both places, that's also fine.

Ratings have more to do with how the story grabs the reader than how much (of lack of) sex there is in a story. Some of the highest rated stories on Literotica are in the non-erotic category.

The other thing is that one page stories make it really hard to develop the characters so they have a reason for being there. If a reader doesn't get to know your characters, they probably won't rate the story very highly.

 

[taytay4eva]

Have you read stories around here? This happens all the time.

Just yesterday I read one which had only the last 12-word paragraph of the story on the second page.

Relax

Honestly, telling myself "relax. you aren't being judged. you're fine" is something I need to remember more in general. Thanks.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Sometimes, the scores are real.
It can be hard to accept, but...
Sometimes, for whatever reason, we as writers failed to connect with the audience...
It can be small things, and there are so many intangibles,
The number of stories posted on the same day as yours.
The day it posted...
Is there a contest running which may have taken readers attention...
Scores are not always a reflection of quality in here.

So long as you like it, and enjoyed writing it you are winning.

Cagivagurl

 

[Djmac1031]

When i first started here, in had no idea how long a story "should" be, nor how long people would tolerate the actual STORY until it finally got to the sex scene.

Id write and write for hoyrs and days and it felt like a fucking novel. Then I'd publish and it turns out they'd be a page and a half,two pages tops.

Readers will turn the page as long as they're engaged with the story.

Write a good story with compelling, multidimensional characters and readers will not only wait for the sex, they'll build anticipation and appreciation for it.

 

[iwatchus]

Just got my latest Silus and Rebb story published, and while I had a blowjob scene at the front of the story, I decided to not put a sex scene at the end because I thought it was too intimate of a moment between the characters.

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

Fuck.

Returning to your original question, I thought this was a different kind of story. I don;t think a sex scene at the end would have notably changed the user reactions.

Just as in real life, there is a special excitement to first time sex between people. Your challenge as an author (or in a relationship) is how to keep it interesting, let it grow, once th novelty has worn off. In writing, you do that by building more depth into the characters. Not all readers want that, but that's okay. They are not looking for a relationship, pushing my analogy further. (Except for maybe one between their hand and their genitals.)

I thought this was a good transitionary story from interesting but shallow characters getting it on to more real characters starting to develop.

 

[lovecraft68]

Just got my latest Silus and Rebb story published, and while I had a blowjob scene at the front of the story, I decided to not put a sex scene at the end because I thought it was too intimate of a moment between the characters.

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

Fuck.

Understand that every answer here is based on what each author would do in that situation, or some experience with the readers and site itself.

I say that just for you to keep in mind that in the end, you're the boss and what you think and feel you should have done trumps everything else.

With that, my take is you should have done the scene and reason I say that is you mentioned that it was going to be a nice intimate scene. Maybe you felt seeing there was already a BJ involved, and maybe that wasn't intimate but a dirty thrill and you didn't want to mix romance with that, but I think there would be no better way to end a chapter than to give the reader that important intimacy and leave them off with a hot scene and wondering where its going to take the characters for the next chapter.

Most people here are not professional writers and for many-I'm one of them-it's the first platform I tried my hand at writing-and for us, this is all a learning curve and trial and error, and we learn lessons as we go, and sometimes there's some pain with those lessons.

Even bad experience is good experience if you can learn from it, and the frustration I see in your post tells me you have.

Now the most important thing is to say 'yeah, took a beating on that one' and then get up off the mat, dust yourself off and get back to it and next time? You'll kick ass.

 

[Voboy]

Lots of variables there. Lack of a closing sex scene is just one of them.

I'm a big advocate of going out with a bang (hardy har har) in my own stories largely because that's what I usually prefer as a reader, especially outside F/SF or EH. There are most definitely ways to write a successful EC story without doing that, and I've done it more than once when it felt right for the characters, but it's good policy to put one in.

In my opinion, it's even better policy to focus on character development, humor, and dialogue; all those things will also improve a story's rating, and rightly so. As a reader, it would be difficult for me NOT to be disappointed by a short stroke story that didn't even have stroke.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

There are hundreds of well rated stories on this site with zero sex in them. I have several here myself, usually scoring between 4.75 and 4.87.

Your writing is technically good, but I agree with others' comments that readers expect more than what you are giving them. You may also be seeing some influence from posting different stories in a series within different categories. At the very least, you may want to consider using the series manager to show an association of the stories.

 

[NotWise]

Lots of variables there. Lack of a closing sex scene is just one of them.

I'm a big advocate of going out with a bang (hardy har har) in my own stories largely because that's what I usually prefer as a reader, especially outside F/SF or EH. There are most definitely ways to write a successful EC story without doing that, and I've done it more than once when it felt right for the characters, but it's good policy to put one in.

In my opinion, it's even better policy to focus on character development, humor, and dialogue; all those things will also improve a story's rating, and rightly so. As a reader, it would be difficult for me NOT to be disappointed by a short stroke story that didn't even have stroke.

And I often have the last sex scene some time before the end of the story, and end the story on a denouement.

Different strokes. . .

 

[Voboy]

And I often have the last sex scene some time before the end of the story, and end the story on a denouement.

Different strokes. . .

Absolutely. I do the same, if it's true to the characters and the story. But you do have a last sex scene, at some point. Probably toward the end, somewhere.

 

[taytay4eva]

Returning to your original question, I thought this was a different kind of story. I don;t think a sex scene at the end would have notably changed the user reactions.

Just as in real life, there is a special excitement to first time sex between people. Your challenge as an author (or in a relationship) is how to keep it interesting, let it grow, once th novelty has worn off. In writing, you do that by building more depth into the characters. Not all readers want that, but that's okay. They are not looking for a relationship, pushing my analogy further. (Except for maybe one between their hand and their genitals.)

I get what you mean. The first time is the most fun time for a lot of readers; seeing that first threshold break open.

I thought this was a good transitionary story from interesting but shallow characters getting it on to more real characters starting to develop.

Thanks! That was what I was going for. Originally, one of her friends was going to come into the fuel stop and they'd have a three-way, but my mind kept going to "how would everyone who was used to her being the way she was react to her being something new?" and this is what came out. The next story is going to take them out of the fuel stop and have them do more learning about each other. Mostly about Silus.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Now, at the end of its first day, it has a rating of 3.67 with 9 ratings. The other story has 4.67 with 51 ratings.

I should've put that fuckin' sex scene at the end there. Written it nice and sweet and loving. If I'd put it in there, I'd bet that I'd have at least a 4.0.

It's not really worth trying to interpret a score when there are only 9 votes. At 9 votes, the difference between 3.67 and 4.00 is one person having a bad day who happened to click on your story, or not.

If you want to compare your story scores, best to wait until you have about 50-100 votes before playing "why did people like this better than that?"

It may well be that people disliked the choice not to have a sex scene at the end, but at such an early stage in the voting the story score isn't much corroboration of that.

 

[taytay4eva]

Your writing is technically good, but I agree with others' comments that readers expect more than what you are giving them. You may also be seeing some influence from posting different stories in a series within different categories.

I'm trying to get the original story moved into the "Mature" category so that it matches this one, but it's taking a bit of time to happen. I think I submitted it properly to do that, and it's just working its way through the proper channels now.

At the very least, you may want to consider using the series manager to show an association of the stories.

I actually made a series and put the original one into it as the first one a few days ago now I'm just waiting for it to be approved, or, if a series requires more than one story to count as a series, for the "new" tag to vanish from it and put it in after that.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

I almost always err on the side of more sex. Some may call this pandering, but I tend to consider it knowing my audience.

 

[taytay4eva]

I almost always err on the side of more sex. Some may call this pandering, but I tend to consider it knowing my audience.

I mean, this is the "sex story" website. It's a good thing to consider pandering to. It's why I started this thread to kick myself for regarding this particular story, although now I'm not as sure I made the wrong call. If I had to write the end again, I'd probably include a sex scene, but we live and we learn.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

Every time out is a chance to improve, as far as I’m concerned. I hope the stuff I am doing now is far better than when I started in October. God knows I’ve had enough practice!

 

[taytay4eva]

Every time out is a chance to improve, as far as I’m concerned. I hope the stuff I am doing now is far better than when I started in October. God knows I’ve had enough practice!

I'm sure it is! New things are how we improve. Endlessly hounding the same thing is the harbinger of the way of madness and not making. Honestly, one of the reason that I love posting stories here as much as I do is because posting here forces me to not fix or edit them anymore. I'm a little tempted to post some of my older stories here, just to get them more out into the world and get them into a place where people can more easily read them.