I say I say

[Beaker]

Good evening all and welcome to RavenBeak poductions

We have for you tonight a tale of sheep, and sleep,

AND sex 5 nights a week

We don't know where it begins

Or where it ends

But on this our mental state depends

 

[Ravenloft]

*Walking out with a barret on my head, a megaphone in one hand and a folded up directors chair under the other. Setting up the chair as five sheep, that are asleep are brought out in wheelbarrows. Each sheep has a plaque slung about its neck, one for each day of the work week. The sheep are dumped from their respective barrows and rudely awoken by it.*

Alright you sleepy sheep! Line up and face me! We have a show to do!

Monday! No, not you Thursday! I said Monday! Yes, yes, I know you need your beauty sleep, but that can wait! The audience is expecting a good show tonight so no slouching you hear!

*Turning away, and raising the megaphone to my lips I call out.*

Send up the curtain!!!

 

[Beaker]

"Monday" Tonight is the night, now the Boss is here. We planned this, you had your sleepin mow get out there and PERFORM.

Tuesday - Now all you have to do is follow the movements of monday and that strange looking Kiwi Juspar.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday... I would like you to perform... well like sheep and follow Monday the leader. Just make sure that you are well oiled... because damn does he look horny tonight!

And NO I will not hold you while he does that!

 

[Ravenloft]

And one, and two...

Knee! Kick!
Knee, knee, kick!
Come on ladies!
You CAN can can, can't you?
You certainly can!
There you go!
Knee, kick, kick, knee!
Swing those frilly skirts! Show some leg!
The audience is eating it all up I tell you! Eating it all up! Like a plate full of lamb chops!
*hic*
*Clapping*
Alright girls, bring it on in! Time for the next routine!
The shearing of your fleeces! And the fleecing of the audiences pockets! Send the donation buckets round!!!
*Calling to the audience*
Show your apreciation for these fine, shorn and shaven sheep! Or are you craven!?

 

[Beaker]

Can they can can... Oh come on... if we dont fleece you, we cant perform...

Ushers, Bolt the doors.

Juspar, Raven... its time to show this Audience how we can fleece... and the sheep!

 

[Ravenloft]

Whats this?!

No fair backing your rumps to the walls girls!

Why I hear the chef is about somewhere, and he is interested in cooking up some haggis!

Open those legs, too late to be modest now!

The show must go on!

*Calling to the audience*

Show the little ladies you care folks! Load up those buckets! Its for a good cause! Come on! Open those pocket books and purces! Every little bit counts!

 

[Beaker]

*Accompanied by the shower of shrapnel*

The show must go on.

"Monday, Oh god do I have to lead you everywhere... no don't look at me like that, I refuse to do that to you.

Oh my god! Give me strength

Pan to the sight of Beaker half humping half pushing Monday up to the centre of the stage...

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Did someone want some haggis cooked up?

 

[Ravenloft]

Bah! You sheep are lasy souls!
Its time to get you ladies into shape!
Else I will throw you to the chef!
And you won't want that!
I assure you!
I hear that a little bump and grind does wonders for the thighs! And from the looks of it you girls have nice meaty thighs...
What do you say folks?! Should we give these shy sheep a good shanking?!
Cheer if ya wanna see it!
*The croud goes wild, more out of desperation to leave the auditorium then to witness the horrid event transpiring before them.*

 

[Juspar Emvan]

*flouncing onto the stage*

Oooo girls you are so tardy
Here now follow my lead, the last thing we want is black pudding for dinner
Left hand down a bit, head in the air
Swing those skirts
Right knee, and kick
Left knee, and kick
Right kne . . . hang on hang on, what are ewe's doing!

Oh I give in, Chefy do your worst