I really REALLY hate mice!!

[SweetCherry]

So, I've had this mouse plaguing me for the past month. It's smarter than it should be and has escaped the cat, 2 dogs and the traps thus far. I have had it. So I put out more AND set some poison out in places that the kids and the pets can't get to. I figured that would take care of it. I'd rather not have the repeat performance of me racing outside at an ungodly hour clad in nothing more than my panties and takn top.

Anyhow, this morning, I'm on the phone with Draco, standing in the doorway by my kitchen. Then I hear it. A snap and a squeek. This encourages me to do the obvious. I scream. Right into the phone. Right into Draco's ear. (I'm sorry, luv.) I then race out of the room and climb onto the sofa while the children come down to see what that noise was.

I huddled and babbled near hysterical and managed to get calmed down. I talked for a little while more, and then hung up the phone. I proceded to get my daughter ready for school. Then I hear it again. That bloody squeeking. It wasn't dead. By this time, it's about 730 and I knew I couldn't listen to that all day. On the other hand, I'm not about to touch or even LOOK at the damn thing. So I do the obvious thing. I call the ex.

he: "Whatdayawant?"

me "Can you come over?"

he "Huh? Why?"

me "That fucking THING is in the trap and squeeking and I want it gone"

he: "So get rid of it."

me "And what are you on this morning? Me touch that THING? Fuck that! Come get rid of it. Please? I won't let you go back to sleep til you do."

he "OK OK I'm coming."

me "Just hurry."

So he hops his way on over in a zombie-like state since I'd woke him up. In the mean time, that THING has escaped from the trap. So I now have a mouse loose in my house who's pissed off at me for trying to kill it. I just know it's going to come gnaw on my jugular as I sleep. I think I'll stock up on coffee cuz I won't be sleeping for a LONG time.

 

[phrodeau]

Take your cat to bed with you.

 

[kotori]

Maybe Laurel can start a sideline with rent-a-kitties. A whole pack (what is the collective term for kitties?) of 'em might solve your problem.

 

[pipercatt]

I have many a mouse tale, but since you don't like 'em...

 

[SweetCherry]

The bloody cat is too lazy to do her job. She's too concerned with the fact that she's a little slut and managed to get knocked up while I was worried more about the sick puppies than the poor cat in heat. All she wants to do is lay around and get petted.

 

[SweetCherry]

Maybe Laurel can start a sideline with rent-a-kitties. A whole pack (what is the collective term for kitties?) of 'em might solve your problem.

Either that or the neighbors will be seeing more of me in my skivvies. It was suggested to me that after the last time, I've got neighbors putting mice into my house just to see if I'll race outside like that again.

 

[SweetInnocence]

Eck!

That is one smart little rodent huh?!!
Gosh, you gotta get him sometime...
(Lets hope he/she don't find a mate and reproduce!)

 

[kotori]

All she wants to do is lay around and get petted.

you girls, sheesh.

 

[SweetCherry]

Re: Eck!

That is one smart little rodent huh?!!
Gosh, you gotta get him sometime...
(Lets hope he/she don't find a mate and reproduce!)

I thought about a shotgun or something similar, but I can't hit the broad side of a barn.

Plus it's kinda overkill.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

If you don't like mice, I suspect you are cooking them improperly.

 

[SweetCherry]

I tried grilling them, but they just fell thru the grates. Does it work better to skewer them and do 'em like marshmallows?

 

[phrodeau]

Maybe Laurel can start a sideline with rent-a-kitties. A whole pack (what is the collective term for kitties?) of 'em might solve your problem.

A kindle of kittens.

"Litter" is also common.

 

[Guest]

Great Mouse Hunter

I have a dog here that loves nothing more than to go hunting in our backyard, what simply started as her pursuing rabbits, chipmunks, birds and the like has become something new. Sarah now chooses to flush fieldmice out from the rough and drive them into the house for hunts in a more comfortable enviorment. It wouldn't be so bad as she does catch them but she chooses to employ me to 'beat the brush' for her (open cabinet doors, move furniture, etc) at three in the morning. Generaly she gets me up by hopping onto the bed, straddling my chest , pounding it with her paws and when I awake she has this really intense "Let's go get'em"expression.....At the least, she could have had some coffee waiting for me as her breath smells strongly of expresso and croissants......

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

I tried grilling them, but they just fell thru the grates. Does it work better to skewer them and do 'em like marshmallows?

Its usually best to toss them in the blender. It gets rid of those nasty hair, bone and cleaning issues. The ground mouse can then be used as a substitute for hamburger.

 

[mritsme]

well now what to do you now have a loose mouse and a ex running around your house lol

 

[mritsme]

Either that or the neighbors will be seeing more of me in my skivvies. It was suggested to me that after the last time, I've got neighbors putting mice into my house just to see if I'll race outside like that again.

lol i wanna watch

 

[lickerish]

I feel your pain SweetC.. I've been housesitting for my dad for the last month, he lives on 3 acres out in the countryish area.

One night I was kicked back in my dads recliner watching tv when I saw something move from the corner of my eye.. I looked down near the tv and saw that it was a fieldmouse. I screamed bloody fucking murder, the mouse ran behind the entertainment center, and my kids came running. When I told them what it was, my usually brave 7 year old started screaming at the top of her lungs, and she hadn't even seen the dang thing.

Anyways, with one foot up on the coffee table and one foot on the entertainment center, I tried to see if I could find it.. I saw it peek out from time to time.. so I kneeled down in front of the center, held a towel up to try and catch the stupid thing. Everytime it came close and I moved a fraction of an inch.. it ran back. I tried this about a dozen times and then decided to go to bed (after commanding the stuck up cats to catch the damn thing, they didn't listen.

I never saw it again until last weekend when Juspar came down for a visit. We were watching tv when all of a sudden he said, 'be quiet and don't move' when I looked in the direction he was looking, I screamed bloody murder again and it ran away He laughed and laughed when I tried to repeat the above performance I didn't think it was very funny.

He told me to set down a trap, the mouse hasn't been back since I put one down.

I hate mice. The sad thing is, it's cute.. and I don't want to kill it.. but I don't want it scurrying around everywhere. Ick *shudder*

 

[brokenbrainwave]

Buy a snake, let it loose and it will get rid of that pesky mouse...and that useless cat. The dog has a fighting chance, however.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

D-con is your friend.

 

[SweetCherry]

Buy a snake, let it loose and it will get rid of that pesky mouse...and that useless cat. The dog has a fighting chance, however.

Umm, I think I'll pass on this suggestoin. If you think I scream like a banshee at mice, you should see what happens when I see snakes. I know, I'm a coward.

Lickerish, I know the feeling of screaming. I still don't think Draco's hearing will ever be the same. At least you had the presence of mind not to go racing outside in your skivvies.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

cant say I wasnt here for you...

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I just cant resist this opportunity....

This was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem.

The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are snow available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).

Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

 

[binkley]

The feeling is mutual.

 

[LordMagicMan]

http://www.cnn.com/2001/HEALTH/03/28/human.cloning.02/story.fat.mice.jpg

You dont even like the cloned kind?

 

[SweetCherry]

*screams in terror*

Get those things OUT of here!!