I owe everyone an apology

[victorious]

Hello every one-

I have been away from here for a long time- and there is a reason.

I will be divorcing my wife soon- have already spoken to attorneys and am in the process of filing the paperwork.

Seems that when I said I was going to retire from full time work- that also to her meant I was not allowed to do any other outside work at all- My whole focus was to be on her and rescuing all of the loose dogs in our area, including feeding them with money we don't have.

The straw that broke the camel's back so to speak was this- I was asked to assist a company in an audit and review which requires me to be away from the house for one day overnight- when I told her about it- she threw a fit and said it's either me and the dogs or if you go, don't come back.
That was it,

I now know what she meant when she said right before I retired when she said "do you want to retire or do you want to die?" I should have seen it coming at that time.

She was telling me that she would see to it that my life was a miserable hell and I would die early because I retired. EVIL, EVIL,EVIL,

I know I will survive this- I have been through worse- and made it through each situation stronger.

Divorce hurts- but being with someone who makes each and every day and each and every waking moment a living hell is much worse.

 

[beingtrue2me]

The only person you owe an apology to is you. You've put yourself thru enough with not enough reward. There is a reason my screen name is what it is. Here's hoping you heal soon and find someone to return your passion.

 

[simplegirl]

You can't control her actions, only your own and if I recall correctly she had irrational behaviour all over the place. It sounds like a toxic situation/relationship at this point. As much as it hurts, you have to protect and take care of yourself first and at this point, obviously, means you need to get out. Best of luck to you. I wish you well.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

You've been gone a month. It happens. Prior to that, a majority of your posts were about the incompatibilities in your marriage.

Hopefully this ends up being a good decision for you both and eventually it will just become a part of your life instead of something that happened to you. You seem as if you feel victimized and that can be a stressful place to be.
You don't really owe anyone an apology. Most of us here have real lives and understand that things happen. This place should not be your number one priority.

Best of luck to you.

 

[beachbaby179]

I just wish I had your courage. You're doing what you need to do. Best of luck to you.

 

[beingtrue2me]

I just wish I had your courage. You're doing what you need to do. Best of luck to you.

BB I wish you had that courage to. It is easy to tell someone to make that move but hard to do. Kids, finances, families.....they all play a role. Then there is the gut wrenching fear of being alone. I hope that you are lacking courage for something else and not stuck in a bad marriage. IF so, my heart goes out to you. Hugs and best wishes to you.

 

[box13]

And she'll tell you that everything she did was a mistake and promise to change if only you stay in 5....4....3....2....

Controlling people are about control. At any cost. Listen to your gut I guess. Do what you need to do. Move forward. Don't turn back. You may want to seek some counseling or some other kind of self-help for someone who's been abused. It becomes very difficult to tell right from wrong when you're in a relationship with an abusive or mentally ill person.

 

[SultryKitten75]

Wish you all the best, as you move on. Happiness, is something you make for yourself.

 

[mnrick991]

Hello every one-

I have been away from here for a long time- and there is a reason.

I will be divorcing my wife soon- have already spoken to attorneys and am in the process of filing the paperwork.

Seems that when I said I was going to retire from full time work- that also to her meant I was not allowed to do any other outside work at all- My whole focus was to be on her and rescuing all of the loose dogs in our area, including feeding them with money we don't have.

The straw that broke the camel's back so to speak was this- I was asked to assist a company in an audit and review which requires me to be away from the house for one day overnight- when I told her about it- she threw a fit and said it's either me and the dogs or if you go, don't come back.
That was it,

I now know what she meant when she said right before I retired when she said "do you want to retire or do you want to die?" I should have seen it coming at that time.

She was telling me that she would see to it that my life was a miserable hell and I would die early because I retired. EVIL, EVIL,EVIL,

I know I will survive this- I have been through worse- and made it through each situation stronger.

Divorce hurts- but being with someone who makes each and every day and each and every waking moment a living hell is much worse.

From what you said above, I congratulate you and wish you the very best! And please, for your sake, ENJOY the hell outta your retirement any way that makes you happy! You deserve it!!

 

[Doog_kuron]

I've been following your posts for a while, think I even posted once or twice. But I liken it to getting the hell out of dodge. It's going to be short term messy and awful, even bitter. But I think your long term prospects just sky rocketed. Best of luck for the future!

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm going to be a.....little bit of a tool here.

I divorced years ago(happily remarried now) my ex was a bi polar woman with a lot of self loathing that she turned into negative emotions for everyone, I could go on, but will leave it as "she was a real piece of work."

I stated that its the truth, no one has to believe me. But to hear her side? I won;t even get started just say she even tried to tell the schools to never let me pick my kids up for alleged abuse she could never prove(cause it never happened)

Point is that was her side and the side everyone got from her when we divorced and I told my side.

Three sides to every story. His Hers and the truth.

Seems best this marriage ended and as someone best for both parties not just the OP.

I am sorry that I do not automatically believe a months worth of posts all badmouthing and blaming a person whom I don't know and only have what others say to go on.

I like to hear both sides, but obviously won't here so I am not going to heap congratulations for what may or may not be the truth.

I'll just leave it at I hope this leaves both of you happier and if you have kids and grand kids that it benefits them as well because things will be less stressful.

Good luck.....to both of you.

 

[victorious]

Everyone- thanks for your kind words of support- Well, the audit I was asked to assist with is finally a firm reality for 14-16 of October- learned about all of the details, logistics, etc. today. My costs are all being covered- car expense, hotel, meals, etc. by the company that asked me for my assistance. Meeting/review is in the San Diego Area. Told my wife today so she knew it was a done thing- Her response was: Make a choice- stay, or I go!! If you go, I will leave the minute you come back and divorce you. I will go home to my family in the Philippines. At least I have a family and you don't." My response to her was "that's nice, do what you want. I'm going."
End of discussion.