I need to make amends

[Sillyman]

I have done something wrong and I need to make up for it
I don't want to get into details here, but last night I hurt an online friend of mine without meaning too. They have been hurt many times in the past, and I feel awful that I caused them pain without meaning to. My problem is I don't know how to make amends. All the sorrowful e-mail and other things in the world won't set me apart from the assholes who do these things delibrately. I don't have enough friends that I can just afford to lose one this way. Please, if anyone has any ideas on how to help me or anything else please post. I would deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

 

[just pet]

I have done something wrong and I need to make up for it
I don't want to get into details here, but last night I hurt an online friend of mine without meaning too. They have been hurt many times in the past, and I feel awful that I caused them pain without meaning to. My problem is I don't know how to make amends. All the sorrowful e-mail and other things in the world won't set me apart from the assholes who do these things delibrately. I don't have enough friends that I can just afford to lose one this way. Please, if anyone has any ideas on how to help me or anything else please post. I would deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

Hard to give brilliant advice with so few details...
But being honest and sincere is a good start. But trust is precious. Breaching that is sometimes irreparable. The scar makes for a weak spot.

 

[bored1]

All we can do when we hurt people emotionally is apoligize in a sincere manner. After that, what is left to say? I agree with just pet in that breaching ones trust is sometimes irrepairable And no matter what is said the relationship will always have a cloud hanging over it.

 

[AzureAngel]

Just do the best you can. The best way would be, as Pet said, honesty and sincerity. And time.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Hopefully, they'll see this post if it was a friend you made here. I know how you feel, Sillyman.

 

[Wiggles]

I would write a little email telling this person all the reasons why you value them as a friend so much. Then a little explaining how sorry you are, and just why you are.

Just try to explain what you're feeling in detail. That's all you can really do.

 

[Sillyman]

Pardon me and let me bump my own thread here.

 

[SexySlut2]

Everyone has given good advice, just do what you think you need to do, follow your heart so to speak.

 

[ginslinger]

Hurt...

We all say or do things we didn't mean from time to time... The repair starts with I'm sorry... Only time can do more...

 

[BustyTheClown]

Sillyman, if it's any consolation, I was just in a similar situation last week. I said something very stupid and callous to someone I love very much, and I felt SO bad after I'd said it I wished I could just go back in time and take that back. I did all I could do, which is pretty much what everyone has said so far -- just apologize in a sincere way, let the person know how much you value him/her, and make sure they are ok. Tell them that you didn't mean to hurt them, because it's obvious it's eating you up inside. All you can do is be honest and truthful about your apology and guilt, and I don't think that will be hard for you to do. It will be strange for a little while, but hopefully this person will see how unintentional it was and it won't be a problem for very long. Trust me, you may regret what you did, but if you do all you can to show your sincerity, the person should definitely come around. Just try to be more careful in future. It's something we all do, you are not alone.

 

[Sillyman]

Hopefully, they'll see this post if it was a friend you made here. I know how you feel, Sillyman.

Let me give myself one more bump if you don't mind.

 

[Dillinger]

I have done something wrong and I need to make up for it
I don't want to get into details here, but last night I hurt an online friend of mine without meaning too. They have been hurt many times in the past, and I feel awful that I caused them pain without meaning to. My problem is I don't know how to make amends. All the sorrowful e-mail and other things in the world won't set me apart from the assholes who do these things delibrately. I don't have enough friends that I can just afford to lose one this way. Please, if anyone has any ideas on how to help me or anything else please post. I would deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

Say exactly what you just told us.

 

[Zamdrist]

I would deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

Gods I know how you feel. Leaves a sick feeling in your stomach doesn't?

Send the heartfelt message, just once, then give it time. Time heals, and be there for her.

Cheers bud

 

[Sillyman]

Gods I know how you feel. Leaves a sick feeling in your stomach doesn't?

Send the heartfelt message, just once, then give it time. Time heals, and be there for her.

Cheers bud

Definitely leaves a sick feeling. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus in class...all I do is think about it

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

Definitely leaves a sick feeling. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus in class...all I do is think about it

Wow. It happened last night ? And you feel this strongly?

show the thread as suggested. or copy this thread post by post and email it.

Honesty and time will heal it.

Best of luck to you

 

[Zamdrist]

Definitely leaves a sick feeling. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus in class...all I do is think about it

I had the very same feelings Sillyman. Stay upbeat and positive, refuse to let it eat you up! If you believe yourself to be a good person...forgive yourself first! It will translate.

Don't matters of the heart cause some of the most exquisite joy and the most horrible pain possible?

Stay positive!

 

[Sillyman]

Thanks for the encouragement guys. You've been very reassuring.

 

[SXCRgirl]

Sillyman,

We've all been there at one point or another. It's commendable that you feel so bad after this one incident. Some people don't even think about how they've hurt others, no one from Lit of course!

I think silence is NOT the way to go here. Write her the emails even if you don't think it's going to make any difference. If you don't, then she will really know that you didn't care. You can't go back and say, "I just wanted to give you some space." If you let it go too long, the damage may be irreparable.

I've been at the receiving end of something like this. They gave me all the space that they thought I needed without saying something about how they valued me as a friend. When they came back, thinking that I had cooled off, it was too late. The silence and the feelings of abandonment were too much.

When you love someone, make sure they know it, even during times like these.

Good luck and hope that things go well.

 

[Sillyman]

Sillyman,

We've all been there at one point or another. It's commendable that you feel so bad after this one incident. Some people don't even think about how they've hurt others, no one from Lit of course!

I think silence is NOT the way to go here. Write her the emails even if you don't think it's going to make any difference. If you don't, then she will really know that you didn't care. You can't go back and say, "I just wanted to give you some space." If you let it go too long, the damage may be irreparable.

I've been at the receiving end of something like this. They gave me all the space that they thought I needed without saying something about how they valued me as a friend. When they came back, thinking that I had cooled off, it was too late. The silence and the feelings of abandonment were too much.

When you love someone, make sure they know it, even during times like these.

Good luck and hope that things go well.

She's already gotten a bunch of e-mails from me. I want to make sure I still value her as a friend, but i don't want to pester her so much I scare her off either.