I need to look 16 years younger by June

[NoJo]

I've got a well paid music gig in June through my friend the Fat Man who runs tribute bands for functions.

I could get lots more gigs from him, but it's hampered by the fact that he can't tell his senior partner about me -- the partner only wants people under 30 on his circuit.

What, for you, would be the most obvious giveaway as to a man's age? grey hair? his clothes? wrinkles? attitude? physique? I'm prepared to do an extreme makeover to get these gigs, I'm broke and they're £200 cash a night, money for old rope.

 

[Guest]

I've got a well paid music gig in June through my friend the Fat Man who runs tribute bands for functions.

I could get lots more gigs from him, but it's hampered by the fact that he can't tell his senior partner about me -- the partner only wants people under 30 on his circuit.

What, for you, would be the most obvious giveaway as to a man's age? grey hair? his clothes? wrinkles? attitude? physique? I'm prepared to do an extreme makeover to get these gigs, I'm broke and they're £200 cash a night, money for old rope.

All of the above. And It's why I love older men so.

*ahem* anyway...

You need Trinny and Susannah, they'd sort you out. It's a tricky one, cos short of plastic surgery there's not a lot you can do (and that is NOT meant to be insulting). I think your best tactic would to be to prove that a 46 year old has still "got it", cos he most definitely has. Jeezus, if his partner only wants people under 30, they're seriously limiting their scope for good musicians.

You could always wear a hoody and see how far that gets you.

 

[NoJo]

All of the above. And It's why I love older men so.

*ahem* anyway...

You need Trinny and Susannah, they'd sort you out. It's a tricky one, cos short of plastic surgery there's not a lot you can do (and that is NOT meant to be insulting). I think your best tactic would to be to prove that a 46 year old has still "got it", cos he most definitely has. Jeezus, if his partner only wants people under 30, they're seriously limiting their scope for good musicians.

You could always wear a hoody and see how far that gets you.

I don't need Trinny and Susannah. Nobody needs Trinny and Susannah. Fucking cream and beige pashminas.

 

[hydrex]

dye your hair and get an ear ring or something

 

[Guest]

I don't need Trinny and Susannah. Nobody needs Trinny and Susannah. Fucking cream and beige pashminas.

PMSL!!! Why not? They'd really, really suit you. I'd love to see you on their show.

 

[Guest]

dye your hair and get an ear ring or something

Better still, he could get his foreskin peirced. How that would help make him look younger, I'm not sure. I suppose it would, if it kept getting caught and he had a wide-eyed, pained expression the whole time.

 

[NoJo]

dye your hair and get an ear ring or something

I used to wear an earring, until somebody told me I looked like a middle-aged folk singer. Maybe I could pretend that I'm a thirty-year old who's reallly, really abused his body with drugs and alcohol.

 

[Guest]

I used to wear an earring, until somebody told me I looked like a middle-aged folk singer. Maybe I could pretend that I'm a thirty-year old who's reallly, really abused his body with drugs and alcohol.

Bless you.

 

[elsol]

Grey hair...
Energy in movement...

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[MercyMia]

Detox and fast? Do yoga head stands? Seriously!

I met a friend who eats strictly vegetarian and limits the amount of food she eats. Under the guidance of a Buddhist master, she has learned the proper combination of foods so that she feels energized instead of deprived. Her skin has a glow and her eyes are so bright and alive...and she's in her 50's, looks like she's 40.

Good luck getting the gigs.

 

[Guest]

Cucumber! It does wonders for the eye area. Soothes and smooths.

 

[Guest]

it confuses me why no one will take me up on my special
face lift done at home.
ive got the tools and betadine...itll be sterile proceedure...well, that it unless i make you sterile...but look on the bright side, if you already are, nothing much to fear.

 

[NoJo]

...much to fear.

Yahh...

 

[Dar~]

Butt lift. It has worked for millions

 

[Guest]

Yahh...

always look on the bright side of life.
you could just say that youre a fill in for the reg who is 20-something who got sick.
yanevah know.

or you could come here and ill give you a lill nip and tuck. ...just after i take another swig of the vicodin cough syrup.

 

[NoJo]

Butt lift. It has worked for millions

I don't have millions, I have about three hundred pounds in the bank.

 

[NoJo]

always look on the bright side of life.
you could just say that youre a fill in for the reg who is 20-something who got sick.
yanevah know.

or you could come here and ill give you a lill nip and tuck. ...just after i take another swig of the vicodin cough syrup.

How good are you on male anatomy, these days?

 

[Dar~]

Silly old guy, the butt lift Worked for millions in achieving youngness. (or at least the appearance of youngness)

 

[Guest]

How good are you on male anatomy, these days?

male = outies
femail = innies
the rest is all in how you look at it.

 

[Dar~]

male = outies
femail = innies
the rest is all in how you look at it.

Vella, if lucky hadn't Stolen your heart, I would have it in my freezer!!! I just spit water all over my desk!

 

[NoJo]

male = outies
femail = innies
the rest is all in how you look at it.

I can just imagine you taking a swig of vicodin, slipping with the scalpel, and saying "ooops, silly old vella. Now where the hell am I and what is it I'm doing, again?"

I'll take you up on the offer, maybe I can make some money with the law suit.

 

[Guest]

Vella, if lucky hadn't Stolen your heart, I would have it in my freezer!!! I just spit water all over my desk!

isnt that how Dahmer worked?
please just clearly mark which body part is which...i dare say that if you went to make liver and ended up with lung, it would be too spongy by far....no masking that with mushrooms and onions.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I could get lots more gigs from him, but it's hampered by the fact that he can't tell his senior partner about me -- the partner only wants people under 30 on his circuit.QUOTE]I bet Jagger, Clapton, and McCartney are losing sleep knowing that job opportunity is closed to them.

For what little it's worth, here are some suggestions:

Dye your hair blonde. Light colored hair tends to distract attention away from the face. Dark colors tend to frame the face and draw attention to it.

Lay on the moisturizer to help with lines.

Wear shades or tinted glasses at all times.

Make sure you clothes are VERY contemporary and correct.

Keep your mouth shut. Language and tone of voice can be a giveaway.

Let us know what happens.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

I can just imagine you taking a swig of vicodin, slipping with the scalpel, and saying "ooops, silly old vella. Now where the hell am I and what is it I'm doing, again?"

I'll take you up on the offer, maybe I can make some money with the law suit.

thats kinda funny. no, not the slipping part... the law suit part. you know id just tell whomever that you were desperately wanting to be a woman and i was doing my best to help you on that score. besides, you cant bleed water from a stone, unless youre absy

 

[SensualCealy]

Joe,
I think what Rumpled just said was right on the money.

I would first dye your hair a darker version of your 'normal' colour, minus the grey. ( I think grey hair is very sexy on a man jtbh)
Get a great modern cut, either the messy style or a sleek George Cloonie style (not sure if he wears it like that anymore but what ever) , depending on what kind of music you play.

I would also highlight the tips, draws the attention away from the roots!
Moisturize, moisturize and moisturize, when you aren't moisturizing, make sure you moisturize some more! lol

I know this may sound odd, but check out shops that carry men's beauty products, they will have many masculine moisturizers and facemasks and even conceallor. If you have any age spots or sun damage it will help out, even with bags under the eyes. Im speaking from experience here and Im only 37! lol

If you wear glasses, consider getting new frames, a cool modern sleek style.

Now for the clothes, hit a shop that has modern styled but classic clothes, something that will span a longer period. Until you get the cash flow moving. Nice slim fitting sweaters, and crips dark jackets and slacks. Not those god aweful polyester slacks, but nice dress slacks. A proffessional male at any age would have the basics.
Dont forget to update your cologne, no Bruit, Old Navy, or any other 'Dad' type colognes for a sexy 30 yr old!

All the best Joe, and let us know how it goes!
C