marshalt
You guys are dicks...
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2004
- Posts
- 25,896
For almost 3 years now I've been part of the general board here at literotica.com. But I haven't portrayed myself in an honest manner. While some of the stories and experiences I've related to you have been based on fact, most of them have been... lies. Let me try to explain.
On here, I have the persona of the perpetual loser. I've portrayed myself as a misfit, who's lack of social graces (especially when it comes to the opposite sex) and low self self esteem seem you can't help but find at slightly endearing. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have stuck with this farce for so long.
I forget how it all began exactly, but as I recall was a bad couple of days a few years ago. And in an over dramatic fashion I posted about how much I hated my life and I wanted to die. It was just a way of venting but I found that people were concerned for me. And as sick as this sounds, I got a little bit of a rush out of it. I liked it. I liked people caring for me. It felt good to have people worrying about me.
And so this "marshalt" character became my alter ego. Through his anger and sadness I was able to get something I wasn't getting in real life at the time... affection. I began to feed off it, and it grew and grew. I found that a lot of you folks seemed entertained by my tales of faux suicidal thoughs and made-up encounters of female Subway employees.
That made me feel even better. It was like I had my own personal cheering section for this loveable loser. marshalt was like a post-modern Charlie Brown, if I dare make such a bold comparison. And I liked it. I liked the fact that I could make people laugh, even if it was at my (my character's) expense. If exaggerations of my own shortcomings and failings made other people happy, then I was happy. And maybe my failings weren't failings afterall...
But now I think it's time this all came to an end. It's just getting harder and harder to keep this up. Mostly because I have a pretty good life going. It's hard to talk about hating everything when you actually don't. I have a job that I love, good friends, and all that stuff. But what will probably shock you the most is that I have a great woman in my life. Hey, I'm still in shock over that one and we've been together for two years! And the strangest part of all, last December she decided she'd like to spend the rest of her life with me.
Aside from all that though, I feel that I need to apologize. I've been deceiving you
all for 3 years. Some of you have even become... oh let's just say "emotionally invested" in me. And while your thoughts and worries have been appreciated, they are not warrented or needed. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that.
So ummm... yeah. That's my confession. Thoughts? Reactions? Anything???
Oh, I suppose there is one thing that has been the truth.
I really am a horrible speller.
On here, I have the persona of the perpetual loser. I've portrayed myself as a misfit, who's lack of social graces (especially when it comes to the opposite sex) and low self self esteem seem you can't help but find at slightly endearing. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have stuck with this farce for so long.
I forget how it all began exactly, but as I recall was a bad couple of days a few years ago. And in an over dramatic fashion I posted about how much I hated my life and I wanted to die. It was just a way of venting but I found that people were concerned for me. And as sick as this sounds, I got a little bit of a rush out of it. I liked it. I liked people caring for me. It felt good to have people worrying about me.
And so this "marshalt" character became my alter ego. Through his anger and sadness I was able to get something I wasn't getting in real life at the time... affection. I began to feed off it, and it grew and grew. I found that a lot of you folks seemed entertained by my tales of faux suicidal thoughs and made-up encounters of female Subway employees.
That made me feel even better. It was like I had my own personal cheering section for this loveable loser. marshalt was like a post-modern Charlie Brown, if I dare make such a bold comparison. And I liked it. I liked the fact that I could make people laugh, even if it was at my (my character's) expense. If exaggerations of my own shortcomings and failings made other people happy, then I was happy. And maybe my failings weren't failings afterall...
But now I think it's time this all came to an end. It's just getting harder and harder to keep this up. Mostly because I have a pretty good life going. It's hard to talk about hating everything when you actually don't. I have a job that I love, good friends, and all that stuff. But what will probably shock you the most is that I have a great woman in my life. Hey, I'm still in shock over that one and we've been together for two years! And the strangest part of all, last December she decided she'd like to spend the rest of her life with me.
Aside from all that though, I feel that I need to apologize. I've been deceiving you
all for 3 years. Some of you have even become... oh let's just say "emotionally invested" in me. And while your thoughts and worries have been appreciated, they are not warrented or needed. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that.
So ummm... yeah. That's my confession. Thoughts? Reactions? Anything???
Oh, I suppose there is one thing that has been the truth.
I really am a horrible speller.
